Editorials
Best & Worst of 2009: Brian Collins (BC) Picks His Top 10!
With only ten days left to go of the year, Bloody Disgusting will now begin unrolling our year end pieces starting with Brian Collins’ (BC) Top and Bottom 10 films of 2009, with lists from Tex, David, Ryan and myself coming all this week. Below you’ll find BC’s list of the best films of the year, along with a list of honoraries. Even with all of the garbage released, I’d say it was a pretty solid year for horror. In the words of BC, “What say you?”
David Harley (Best/Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best/Worst)
BC’S TOP 10 OF 2009
And for the most part, they were greeted with some robust box office. While movies like Drag Me To Hell may have “underperformed”, it’s been a long damn time since not one but two horror films (the other being Orphan) managed to pull down 40 million in the middle of the summer (one of the most blockbuster-packed ones of all time too – Star Trek, TF2, Wolverine, T4, GiJoe – seems every week had a valid “tentpole” offering). It’s also worth noting that Drag is Sam Raimi’s highest grossing film ever that wasn’t a Spider-Man film, and Orphan is the first Dark Castle film in years to actually turn a profit. Sure there were some surprising failures, but even those had silver linings – Saw VI’s weak performance was largely due to two original horror movies (Paranormal Activity and Zombieland) sucking away all of the audience. As much as I loved Saw VI, at least it didn’t fall to some PG-13 bullshit or another goddamn remake, and at the end of the day, it still made nearly 3x its production budget in the US alone, a cost/return ratio most studios would dream of (Transformers may have made 400 million, but it cost about that much to get it on the screen when you factor in prints and advertising).
So here’s my top 10 of the year. As always, this reflects only films that were released for general public (i.e. NOT one-off film festival screenings) between January 1 and December 31st of 2009, so don’t spam the boards asking why certain movies from 2008 (or earlier) aren’t there. If you just now finally got around to watching Splinter, more power to you – but that was on my 2008 list.
Let the flaming begin!
This long-suffering slasher fan got a nice double jolt of old-school slasher fun told with modern sensibilities. MBV served up a traditional holiday slasher (and Tom Atkins!) via some literally jaw-dropping 3D, and Hills delivered a 70s/80s “kids in the woods” romp albeit with the meta-commentary that has become so prevalent in our modern horror movies. I don’t normally do ties, but I honestly can’t choose one over the other, and they both deserve some recognition for doing blending old-school and new-school in a fully engaging package. Also: lots of tits.
It’s here! At last! A film that made a few top 10 lists in 2007 has finally made its way to legitimate stores (plus Blockbuster), allowing us to dump those shitty .avis and badly subtitled import DVDs once and for all. The film that is superior to Quarantine in every possible way (hey Sony – you can’t sell a movie as found footage when it stars the girl from Dexter – just saying) can now be experienced in high resolution glory, and the disc has a few extras to enjoy as well. I hear great things about Rec 2 – hopefully it won’t take so long to reach us in a suitably legal manner.
After this and the Hills Have Eyes redux, I think it’s safe to say that as long as Wes Craven is involved with a remake of one of his own films, it will turn out pretty solid (note – Platinum Dunes didn’t even give him as much as a courtesy call when they decided to remake NOES, let alone involve him. Just thought I’d mention that.). And while I had problems with Aja’s Hills, I honestly think that this version of Last House is superior to the original. It drops the jarring (and unfunny) “humor”, the cheesy ballads, and the annoying police subplot and focuses on the two families. It doesn’t add anything to the story (except a microwave – the film would have been higher on this last had they not included that final idiotic scene), but it improves on it in every way that matters.
This Norwegian import (brought to US courtesy of Anchor Bay) could be a lost relic from 1983. What makes it so great is that it is entirely gimmick free – no 3D, no meta-comedy, no winking at the audience.. it just IS a slasher movie, and a damn fun one at that. And the DVD has some really great bonus features, making it my favorite Anchor Bay release of the year.
The series’ best installment since III got everything back on track – and no one went to see it. Kevin Greutert, Marcus Dunstan, and Patrick Melton delivered everything we want out of the series – an interesting protagonist, some tidying up of loose ends, and some of the best traps in years (LOVE the arm-stretching “kill one to save the other” trap!), and all without the sort of convoluted ret-conning that plagued the previous two entries. Even non-series fans admit that this one worked – so why did all of the fans stay away? Now we’re stuck with David Hackl again for the 7th film, and Greutert isn’t likely to be asked back for 8 (if it gets that far; LG might look at the low box office for VI as a good time to wrap it up once and for all).
Raimi returns! Even though he’s only made two legit horror movies (sorry, Army of Darkness is a comedy first, and an adventure 2nd, with horror a distant third), people have been bugging Raimi for years to “return”, and return he did. PG-13 or not, this is a non-stop fluid-fest, and poor Alison Lohman (a welcome substitute for originally cast uber-bore Ellen Page) is put through enough torture to make Bruce Campbell flinch. Add a ballsy ending and some terrific dark humor (kitty poster!) and you have pretty much everything one could hope for in Raimi’s comeback.
While the new ending (well, the 2nd half of the new ending anyway) pales in comparison to the others I’ve seen, Paranormal Activity continues to freak me out even on my 3rd or 4th viewing. And watching it with an audience is some of the most fun I’ve had all year. The collective and audible tensing of the audience every time Oren Peli cuts back to that shot of the bedroom (a “sound” that gets more and more pronounced as the film progresses to its final, still-freaky climax) is something I’ve never experienced in a theater before, and probably won’t again. For years, the inevitable attempts to cash in on the film’s phenomenal success (the first original R rated horror film to gross 100 million since – you guessed it – Blair Witch Project) will be greeted with “nowhere near as scary as Paranormal”. How can they be?
OK, it’s more of a comedy. But it’s a damn funny comedy and the zombie action is just as entertaining. The film’s opening credits sequence (set to “For Whom The Bell Tolls” – a rare occurrence of Metallica letting one of their songs be used in a film) is award-worthy by itself – but luckily the rest of the film is just as fun. That it’s the rare zombie film that doesn’t shoot itself in the foot for its 3rd act just makes it all the more impressive. Plus: “…Garfield.”
Some folks hated the twist. Some hated the length (even I think it might run a bit too long). But those who embraced it, like me, were rewarded with the first “Killer Kid” movie in years that delivered a truly evil villain. Good Son killed a dog, Joshua let his grandmother fall down the stairs… but Orphan takes a hammer to a woman (a nun!) forty minutes into the movie, and she just gets more and more deranged from there. It’s the first Dark Castle movie with some actual balls, and for that alone I admire it. Also, Isabelle Fuhrman delivers a knockout performance that, whether you liked the movie or not, you have to admit is incredibly impressive for such a young actor.
IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME, WARNER! OK, so we didn’t all get to see it on the big screen, and the standard def disc is about as featureless as you can get, but all that matters is that each and every man woman and child with a DVD player can now enjoy this terrific horror classic (and yes, it is already a classic. Google this page in ten years when you’re bringing out your DVD for its annual Halloween viewing and hear me saying “Told ya so”) to their heart’s content. Sam is already an established icon – note how many dressed up as him before the film was even released. Even folks that were saying “it can’t possibly be as good as the hype” before watching it were singing its praises 90 minutes later – it’s THAT good. Mike Dougherty has given John Carpenter the first serious challenge to the Halloween throne it’s ever had, and unlike that old grump, Dougherty actually wants to make more adventures with his creation. Let’s hope he gets his wish.
Honorable Mentions: Grace, His Name Was Jason, The Burrowers, Dead Snow, Thirst, The Collector, Pontypool
2009 Honoraries
Best Use Of 3D: THE FINAL DESTINATION. MBV may have been a better movie, but since the Final Destination series has always had shit flying at the screen during its death scenes, it was a better match for the ever-growing format. I even flinched at one point (rubber from the car tire), and I love that the climax takes place in a 3D movie.
Worst Use Of 2D: DARK COUNTRY. Tom Jane’s hyper-real (think Sin City) greenscreen film was designed to be released in 3D, but for whatever reason, the DVD release (it never played theatrically) was only 2D, which resulted in a lot of people seeing the film (and judging it) the wrong way. A shame – it’s not the best film in the world by any means, but for the near future, only convention attendees and such are ever going to see it properly.
Best Movie That I Thought Would Suck: INFESTATION. This low-budget mon-com, which debuted on the Syfy Channel, is actually a damn fun film, and the effects aren’t half bad either. Zombieland fans should enjoy this fun giant bug movie.
Worst Movie That I Thought Would Rock: MY NAME IS BRUCE. On paper, this sounded like a classic, but Bruce Campbell missed the mark big time with his comedic horror adventure. The confusing blend of real life parody and madeup nonsense never quite gels, and it seems like the entire approach to the comedy is to come up with a series of (largely unfunny) running gags and nothing else. We love ya Bruce, but this one was far from groovy.
Best Irony: Lionsgate decides to shy away from horror, save for their SAW franchise. And yet, MY BLOODY VALENTINE and Haunting In Connecticut both outgrossed not only most other LG releases this year (CRANK 2, GAMER, etc) but also their newest Saw film. Whoops.
Worst Irony: After Dark’s Horrorfest delivered their strongest lineup yet (even the weakest films were better than most of the stuff in the previous years), yet forgot to advertise it. Even people who worked on the films had no idea where to find them during their one week release in budget theaters. Hopefully they will fix the marketing for the upcoming 4th festival.
Most Improved Sequel: THE MESSENGERS 2. Not a classic or anything, but a far better film than the muddled original all the same, and hopefully a signifier for films to come if Sony continues the franchise.
Least Improved Sequel: BOOGEYMAN 3. While Boogeyman 2 was a surprisingly fun little slasher, 3 is a jumble of slasher and ghost story, with neither approach really working. Add an insulting ending that undermines most of what came before, and you got a textbook example of a crappy DTV sequel, except one that feels worse due to the previous entry’s above-average status.
Most Baffling Film That Played In 3000 Theaters: HALLOWEEN II. Rob Zombie apparently has been chilling at some farms lately, as his sequel features a scene devoted to Laurie playing with a pot-bellied big, a random cow causing Michael to escape once again, and yes, a goddamn white horse. I’m almost surprised he didn’t resurrect the Thorn cult, as it would have been a good way to work a goat in there while he was at it.
Most Baffling Film That Thankfully Went DTV: BOOKS OF BLOOD. Not sure why anyone thought taking the wraparound story from Clive Barker’s “Books Of Blood” and making a movie out of it (without actually telling any of the stories) was a good idea. 100 minutes devoted to a guy becoming a vessel to tell far more interesting stories is not what I call a good investment of my time. I could have read any one of the volumes in that time and been far more entertained.
STILL MIA AWARDS: MANDY LANE, POUGHKEEPSIE TAPES and CASE 39, where are you? Same as you were in 2007 and 2008? OK, cool. See you next year? No?
College kids, strippers and vampires—those were Donald P. Borchers’ only requirements when he approached Richard Wenk about writing and directing a movie for New World Pictures. As requested, Wenk cooked up Vamp (1986), a tailor-made blend of the decade’s teen movie craze as well as its horror boom.
Grim and earnest stories were still very much a part of the ’80s horror landscape, yet Vamp is something of a comedy. One difference between it and, say, Saturday the 14th, though, is the former avoids using schtick. Wenk’s movie proves that horror comedies also don’t have to subtract thrills from their recipes. Of course, it takes a minute before reaching that point; college antics and culture shocks preface this one macabre misadventure.
Vamp‘s initial setup is apt for a typical college-set, sex-driven comedy; to bribe their way into a fraternity house, two pledges (Chris Makepeace, Robert Rusler) go looking for some adult entertainment. Without wasting time on any further exposition, the characters embark on an all-in-one-night trip that quickly detours into terror.
To procure their elusive MacGuffin—a stripper willing to gyrate for some frat boys—Keith (Makepeace) and AJ (Rusler), plus a third wheel named Duncan (Gedee Watanabe), trade the safety of their remote college campus for the seediness of some unnamed city. The setting is recognizably L.A. by day, but as soon as night falls, downtown, along with the characters, slips into a kind of surreal universe. Director of photography Elliot Davis gave this early entry on his prolific résumé an unusual yet distinctive look; that Mario Bava-esque, magenta-green lighting is omnipresent, so much so that it’s almost its own character.
Chris Makepeace and Robert Rusler in Vamp
The faint comparisons to Martin Scorsese’s After Hours are merited, although not just because of Vamp’s distinguishing nighttime aesthetic. Save for the primary characters, the supporting roles in Wenk’s movie are also quite colorful and transactional in their behavior. The difference here, though, is the additional urge to ruin Keith and his friends at every turn. Some of that harm is humorous and tolerable enough, whereas the moment Vamp dishes out its first fatality, it’s abundantly clear how this movie qualifies as horror.
Vamp falls into that category of horror movie that reveals its genre with a scream rather than a series of whispers. The opening scene can function as a hint of what lies ahead—things are not at all what they appear to be—but otherwise, Wenk is more than happy to hold off on the horror. When that time does come, though, it catches the viewer off guard. In addition to the pure shock value is that sudden decision to upend the movie’s foremost feature. Or so it would seem.
If afraid of major spoilage, those new to Vamp would be wise to stop reading here. There’s just no skirting around the fact that the central fellowship in this buddy movie hits a serious snag when AJ is killed. That development causes the story to become more of a “long, bad night” journey for Keith and his romantic interest. So while Wenk scores points for subverting expectations, there is also a touch of sadness in his decision. Because if Vamp does anything well, it’s making the characters likable.
Something that comes easily to Vamp—and other teen horror movies from this same era—is its ability to invent young characters worth caring about, or at the very least, are interesting and not so immediately off-putting. More impressive is how Wenk did all this without actually fleshing out those characters. Still and all, Keith and his kind are a grade above cookie-cutter, and in some cases, aren’t completely devoid of growth.
Grace Jones in Vamp
Vamp appeals with an assorted cast of characters. No two are the same, nor are they operating on the same wavelength. The cinematically extroverted AJ, whose actor conveyed charm and vulnerability in near equal amounts, comes alive when he’s at his most undead. Makepeace then makes the chronically cautious Keith a sympathetic fellow, even as he’s more and more affected by the night’s bizarre events. Meanwhile, Duncan is indeed the designated loser of the whole bunch, but Watanabe still manages to humanize him. As a bonus, the role didn’t require him to pull a Long Duk Dong.
As for Dedee Pfeiffer, she is plain adorable as the mysterious After Dark server nicknamed “Amaretto”. She spends all night fixing her dress strap while at the same time trying to get Keith to remember how he knows her. As their offbeat romance grows, it becomes another highlight of this movie. Whether or not Pfeiffer’s character is really a vampire also creates some welcome tension in the story.
Like a lot of its contemporaries, Vamp went on to become a bit of a cult classic. That current status is determined by several factors, but without a doubt, the casting of Grace Jones is the most considerable. The image of her writhing on that unique-looking chair, a Keith Haring original, springs to mind whenever this movie is brought up.
Chris Makepeace, Billy Drago and Paunita Nichols in Vamp
Prior to that first display of unequivocal horror, local vampire queen Katrina (Jones) took to the stage and delivered a strip show like no other. One would expect nothing less from that renowned model and performance artist. By now reports of Jones’ tardiness on set are no secret, yet it’s also hard to deny her commitment to the part of Katrina. It was, in fact, Jones who took charge of her character’s appearance—on top of Haring painting her body and that now-iconic chair, she had Andy Warhol handle her costuming. And not too many actors could seize a room’s attention without saying a single line of dialogue.
In 2022, Vamp received a retrospective novelization from Encyclopocalypse. This literary union of preexisting source material—Wenk’s original screenplay—and new ideas from author Christian Francis amounts to a more comprehensive visit to the After Dark Club. The basic story there is no different than what’s shown on screen; however, Francis gets creative with the characters’ origins and designs, and he enhances a number of key scenes.
The novelization expands on the urban and social decay of the main setting, and supplies a background for the After Dark Club. Sandy Baron’s character, Katrina’s emcee and familiar, is given ample motivation for sticking around; up until the fiery end, he is loyal to his friend and former business partner “Squeak”, who looks like he was “fed through a combine harvester, and left as nothing more than a heap of mangled remains”. Then there is Billy Drago’s character Snow, the leader of a street gang called The Dragons. His reason for menacing Keith and AJ is more altruistic than in the movie; he and his peers act tough to scare off any potential food for the vampires.
Lisa Lyon in Vamp
If not for all the backstories, Francis’ Vamp would be a hell of a lot shorter. Instead, this tie-in read dives into how AJ met Keith—the orphaned Anthony Joseph hailed from a broken home back in Brooklyn—and how their friendship flourished over the years. Keith’s archership is no longer just an assumed part of his entire being; it’s a confidence-building extracurricular for a boy who got picked on before coming into the protection of the new kid in town. These supplemental, in-depth looks at the protagonists, plus their close connection, are maybe unnecessary. The movie already did a fair and concise job of addressing their platonic intimacy without the need for flashbacks and insights, specifically in that scene where AJ lays it all out as he sacrifices himself.
Where the novelization gets off course is its approach to the minor characters. Intermittently backstorying the likes of Katrina’s indentured servants, Seko (Leila Hee Olsen) and Vlad (Brad Logan), ends up disturbing the flow of the writing. Was it absolutely essential that readers know Vlad was the Grand Duke of the House of Romanov, or how Snow’s accomplice Maven (Paunita Nichols) became so dentally challenged? No, not really. However, one’s mileage with these random biographies may vary.
The novelization is a more substantial experience, but for a movie like Vamp, less is more. And as plentiful as they are, it never simply coasts on its campy charms, either. The character work sits comfortably in that realm between cursory and meticulous, the script is sharper than first realized, and Greg Cannom’s vampire makeup is straightforward yet effective. Most of all, the movie didn’t squander its out-of-the-box concept. Richard Wenk made his vision of a “comic nightmare in which just about anything that can go wrong does” come true, and it is very enjoyable.
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