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Best & Worst of 2010: The Year’s Worst One Sheets

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The task of selling a film is probably much, much harder than any of us realize, which is why posters meant to stir up excitement for upcoming releases are often so badly calculated. 2010 has been no exception, with a large number of god-awful (or just plain boring) one-sheets cluttering up the lobbies of multiplexes all across the country. Here’s B-D’s list of the worst offenders from the past year.

BEST ONE SHEETS | WORST ONE SHEETS

WORST ONE SHEETS OF 2010

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Posters listed in no particular order

A Nightmare on Elm Street (New Line Cinema)


Remember the posters from the first few movies? They were hand-drawn, imaginative, museum-quality works of art. As for the remake, I guess this generic one-sheet is the best they could come up with – a sentiment you could also apply to the movie itself. When it comes right down to it, simply throwing up an image of the “new Freddy” and calling it a day is just lazy marketing.

Splice (Warner Bros. Pictures)


The problem with this poster is pretty simple – we have no idea what kind of movie they’re advertising. Judging by the soft blue light shining from above, this could very well be a tear-jerking drama about a…fucked-up mutant woman with a tail. The film itself was a boundary-pushing horror/sci-fi (albeit an uneven one), and this one-sheet should’ve done a better job at communicating that.

Predators (Twentieth Century Fox)


The issue here is the same as with the Nightmare on Elm Street poster – simply showing us an image of the villain is a really weak, uninspired way to sell a movie. Also, the movie is called Predators, plural, right? So where are the rest of them?

Jonah Hex (Warner Bros. Pictures)


What is he firing that gatling-gun at, the ground? And why are they hiding the scarred half of Jonah Hex’s face? This poster is far too generic for the adaptation of a comic-book series known for its imaginative genre-mixing.

Vampires Suck (Twentieth Century Fox)


From quite possibly the two laziest filmmakers on the planet comes one of the most godawful one-sheets in the history of film advertising. From the looks of it, Fox just farmed this puppy out to a bunch of high school freshmen taking a “Beginning Photoshop” class. Hey, is that someone dressed up as Lady Gaga in the background? A-hardy-har-har!

Piranha 3D (Dimension Films)


While the other Piranha one-sheet made our “best-of” list, this one qualifies as one of the year’s worst. Talk about generic – this could’ve been the poster for any number of “killer underwater creature” movies from the last twenty years. Also, the tagline should’ve read “This Summer Fake 3D Shows Its Teeth”, don’t you think?

Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D (Sony Scren Gems)


When you have a winning formula, I guess there’s no reason to mix it up. Still, seeing the same basic image on every single Resident Evil one sheet is getting a little tiresome. Also, I’d like to call for a moratorium on jagged shards of glass representing the 3-D experience on movie posters.

And Soon the Darkness (Anchor Bay)


It’s soft-core porn meets Captivity in this awful, lowest-common-denominator one-sheet advertising the upcoming remake of the cult classic 1970 thriller. Pass the cheese.

Case 39 (Paramount Pictures)


It’s no wonder Case 39 failed at the box-office. After years of delays and overwhelmingly negative buzz, Paramount couldn’t even be bothered to come up with a decent poster. So what’s it about, exactly? A haunted house? An evil child? Killer luggage? Kinda hard to tell from the pedestrian imagery featured here.

Paranormal Activity 2 (Paramount Pictures)


Look, we made $100 million with the first one – do people really give a shit about the poster? Just slap a still from the movie on there like we did with the original! Gosh, this money smells good.

Hatchet II (Dark Sky Films)


For a cult phenomenon like Hatchet, you’ve gotta give the uninitiated (and those who were only lukewarm on the first movie) a reason to see it. How is it different, etc.? This generic poster is a snooze that could’ve been used to advertise almost any other slasher flick released in the last 30 years.

Red Riding Hood (Warner Bros. Pictures)


The sight of Amanda Seyfried walking through a forest just screams “excitement!”, doesn’t it?

Chain Letter (New Films)


Cursed with a premise that’s about ten years too late, this movie follows a group of teens who are forwarded a chain letter (over that new-fangled email) and murdered one by one when they fail to send it along. So I’m just gonna take a guess that in crafting this head-scratching poster, the marketing team at the studio was attempting to hide the fact that the concept of their movie reached “horribly dated” status right around 2005. What other explanation could there be? So there’s a dude wearing pajamas…in chains…lying on top of a barcode…and the tagline is “The Art of Killing”. Ok, I give up.

My Soul to Take (Rogue Pictures)


As if the negative buzz surrounding My Soul to Take wasn’t already bad enough, Rogue had to go and release this incredibly shitty one-sheet to advertise it. Not that I can necessarily blame them – the film’s needlessly complex premise is nearly impossible to sum up in a single image. This poster is the equivalent of the entire marketing team throwing up their hands in frustration.

I Spit on Your Grave (Anchor Bay)


Here’s an idea: just copy the exploitative poster art used to market the original movie, except render it in B&W so people think it’s more artistic. Then print it. Easy breezy!

The Rite (Warner Bros. Pictures)


Based on this poster, we know the following about The Rite: 1) Academy-Award winner Anthony Hopkins is in it, and his eyes are really blue; 2) the movie has something to do with religion (hence the cross!); and 3) You can only defeat it when you believe (like “evil”, maybe)? Gee, I haven’t been this excited about a slot-filling religious horror movie since Lost Souls dropped back in 2000.

The Resident (Image)


This is premiering on Lifetime, right?

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Editorials

‘Bloodstone: Subspecies II’ Revisited: A Bigger, Bolder Follow-Up to Full Moon’s Vampire Cult Classic

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Bloodstone: Subspecies II

Horror sequels are a peculiar thing. In most cases, follow-ups to scary movies tend to retread the same formula with different victims and more over-the-top scares. This is because audiences tend to be more interested in the antagonists of these pictures than anything else, with even main characters becoming disposable when the time comes to produce a sequel.

That’s why some of the most memorable horror sequels are the ones that actually manage to hold onto interesting survivors from previous films while also pushing the story forward instead of having the same thing happen again to a different group of people. From Scream 2 to Dream Warriors (and arguably even The Exorcist III: Legion), there are quite a few of these innovative sequels to go around.

However, if there’s one franchise that deserves more attention when discussing bigger and better continuations that make the most of episodic filmmaking, it has to be Ted Nicolaou’s Subspecies.

The Full Moon classic spawned an indie horror icon, but bizarre sequel Bloodstone: Subspecies II is even more beloved than its predecessor.

Building a Bigger Vampire Saga

While the film itself takes place almost immediately after the events of the first movie, Bloodstone only entered production a couple of years after the release of the original as both Charles Band and Nicolaou weighed the pros and cons of returning to Romania to continue the series. In an effort to maximize efficiency, the team decided to invest in a trilogy where parts II and III, now fully written by Nicolaou, would be filmed simultaneously over the course of a single grueling shoot.

Much like the first Subspecies, Bloodstone’s low budget meant that the filmmakers once again had to cut corners and re-use as many of their resources as possible. Thankfully, the process was much easier this time around as Nicolaou, with the help of Romanian cinematographer Vlad Paunescu and his wife Oana, became more acquainted with local customs and made new friends. Shooting abroad still came with its own unique set of challenges due to a lack of translators and the occasional safety concerns, but the crew managed to make things work by filming things guerrilla-style and setting up shop in abandoned caves and real medieval ruins.

The director’s newfound contacts, coupled with the relative success of the first movie, meant that he was basically given free rein over an assortment of shooting locations usually considered off-limits for indie horror. That’s why Bloodstone features insanely ambitious lighting and effects work even during scenes shot in the middle of a bustling Bucharest. The filmmakers went so far as to project Radu’s Nosferatu-like shadows over local monuments as if he were a Romanian boogeyman, an idea that was actually encouraged by local cinephiles.

In fact, many of the more elaborate scenes here had originally been planned for the first movie before being discarded due to the lack of available resources. It was only with the support of Romanian fans and filmmakers that Bloodstone was able to give Radu a chance to be even more menacing the second time around.

Michelle’s Transformation Takes Center Stage

However, when it came to the American part of the crew, not everyone was able or willing to return for another round of Romanian adventuring. That’s why Radu’s human-loving half-brother Stefan (Michael Watson) is unceremoniously killed off at the beginning of the film while the role of Michelle had to be recast. Denice Duff took over for Laura Mae Tate, with the character now being joined by her sister, Rebecca, played by Melanie Shatner (yes, that Shatner).

In the finished film, we follow Michelle as she awakens to her new life as a vampire and discovers that Radu has murdered her lover. Struggling with grief and her newfound bloodlust, Michelle contacts her sister overseas, with Rebecca soon travelling to Romania on an ill-advised rescue mission. Meanwhile, Radu (Anders Hove) reaches out to his undead Mummy (Pamela Gordon, underneath heavy layers of impressive makeup effects) and promises to deliver her the coveted Bloodstone artifact while also making Michelle his eternal consort.

Revisiting the movie, I was impressed with how introspective this story is when compared to the original. The sequel assumes that you’re already familiar with the previously established characters, so the story wastes no time in exploring the immediate aftermath of the previous film’s events. From Michelle’s reluctant transformation into a creature of the night to Radu’s obvious mommy issues, Nicolaou is way more interested in pushing these characters into new and uncharted territory rather than recycling existing plot points.

Practical Effects and Gothic Atmosphere Still Impress

Yet, much like the first film, it’s Romania itself that makes the movie worth watching. The ruins of Castle Vladislav are even more majestic now, and visiting the moody streets of Bucharest with its surprisingly punk-rock nightlife made for a nice change of pace when compared to the original film’s quiet village setting. Once again, the abundance of interesting locations makes the movie feel much more expensive than it really is, with the filmmakers surrounding our characters with a living, breathing environment that would be impossible to recreate in a studio.

The increased freedom also allowed Nicolaou to flex his filmmaking muscles and tackle more ambitious blocking/composition in the sequel. The low budget and tropey script mean that the visuals don’t always work, but it’s consistently clear that this neo-expressionist style could only come from a passionate team attempting to pay homage to the shadowy horror classics of yesteryear. If the retro atmosphere isn’t enough for you, there’s enough practical gore here to satisfy even the most demanding of horror hounds!

Radu himself is also far more interesting now that Hove is more comfortable working alongside an international crew, with the actor having gone on record explaining that, while he spent more time drinking vodka than working while shooting the first movie, the sequel was a much more creatively satisfying experience for everyone involved. The character’s relationship with his abusive Mummy is also a highlight of the expanded mythology, especially since the practical effects that bring her to life are just as freaky now as they were back in ’93.

My only real gripe with the horror elements of the picture comes from the glaring absence of the diminutive stop-motion minions from the first film, though I guess the surprisingly entertaining addition of Professor Popescu (Michael Denish) and his archeological antics mostly make up for that.

Bloodstone: Subspecies II is obviously the middle chapter of a trilogy, with the ending feeling a lot less definitive than its predecessor as several plot threads are left to dangle in the wind, but I appreciate how the flick explores new ground while remaining faithful to nearly all the ideas that made the original such a good time. While I don’t think it’s as big of an improvement over the first movie as some fans make it out to be, Bloodstone is definitely worth revisiting if you’re a fan of old-fashioned vampire yarns.

Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion to this initial trilogy, Bloodlust: Subspecies III!

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