Inside we've posted our final review from this season's Masters of Horror (all reviews), which airs every Friday on Showtime. Inside you'll find Tex Massacre's review of "Dream Cruise" -- Norio Tsuruta (Ringu 0, Premonition) directs the story of an American lawyer working in Tokyo who embarks on a weekend trip with a valued client and the client's wife - with whom he has fallen secretly in love.
Dream Cruise (MoH 2.13)
Reviewed By: Tex Massacre
3/10 or 1 ½ Skulls
Jack, a hotshot American lawyer in Tokyo (Daniel Gillies—SPIDERMAN 2 & 3) has a fear. And it’s a sure bet that director Norio Tsuruta (RING 0) is going to make the most out of this terror before the end of the hour. You see, when Jack was just a kid, his little brother drowned right before his eyes. Helpless to do anything but watch, Jack has been haunted by nightmares of the ghostlike figurine slinking further and further away into the blackness of the oceanic abyss.
After another jarring night’s rest Jack sets off to work, but this morning he has a whole other type of problem. One of his biggest and most influential clients (Ryo Ishabashi—AUDITION) is in need of some serious help, and he’s called Jack out for a business meeting on his yacht—not the ideal spot for the Thalassophobic attorney. Also, along for the ride is the client’s wife (Yoshino Kimura) who just so happens to be Jack’s current lover. Is it all just mere coincidence or might it be something much more nefarious?
Tsuruta teams up with Uber-Japanese horror novelist Kôji Suzuki (RINGU, DARK WATER) to terrify western audiences with another collection of raven-haired specters and soggy set pieces. Do they succeed? Well, only if you’ve never seen a J-Horror film before.
Rarely has Masters of Horror seemed so stale as it does after sitting through DREAM CRUISE. For one reason or another all of the episodes that have preceded it, whether they were a success or a spectacular failure offered viewers something remotely original. But, DREAM CRUISE is a carbon copy of virtually any Eastern ghost story. It’s lowest common denominator filmmaking—so by-the-book that you don’t even need to watch the last three quarters of it to know what’s going to happen.
To say that I’m most disappointed by this episode is an understatement of the highest order. Last year, Takashi Miike truly set the bar for what Masters of Horror could deliver, and even though his episode never aired, it was still the best piece of television in a decade. Now, I hardly expected Tsuruta to give us IMPRINT PART II but I did expect him to turn in something spooky—something that didn’t look like a cross between JU-ON and DEAD CALM.
As this season of MASTERS OF HORROR comes winding down, the bulk of the tales have been hit or miss. But unlike season one, nothing stood out as spectacular. To have bankrupted its creative cache after only two seasons is nothing if not shocking. The idea that Mick Garris and crew can’t manage to acquire better material than this to shoot is unbelievable. Still, a few episodes were worth the time—specifically—Stuart Gordon’s THE BLACK CAT and John Landis’ FAMILY—but in the end, what had been promised to be a more “even” season than last, only proved accurate in being a flatline of mediocrity.
Jack, a hotshot American lawyer in Tokyo (Daniel Gillies—SPIDERMAN 2 & 3) has a fear. And it’s a sure bet that director Norio Tsuruta (RING 0) is going to make the most out of this terror before the end of the hour. You see, when Jack was just a kid, his little brother drowned right before his eyes. Helpless to do anything but watch, Jack has been haunted by nightmares of the ghostlike figurine slinking further and further away into the blackness of the oceanic abyss. 
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