Sunday, November 19, 2006
By: MrDisgusting
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Today we've added five new reviews to go along with our double-negative reviews for Dark Ride, which were posted yesterday. Inside you'll find reviews for a couple new direct-to-video DVDs from Anchor Bay, Lionsgate and a few others. In addition, we've also posted a review for an extremely low budget indie zombie film that we really wanted to like... but didn't. Read on for the list and a taste of each review.
Future-Kill: Tex Massacre writes, "In the end, Future-Kill is probably not going to win over any new supporters. You either already love this film or you already ignored it... Future-Kill in all its Velveeta virtue is still a strangely captivating saga."
Blackwater Valley Exorcism: Ryan Daley writes, "Just take about 4 shots of cheap whiskey, a jigger-full of An American Haunting, add a dash of a Lifetime movie, throw in a couple squirts of an episode of The Young and the Restless, mix it all up with some dirty ice in an official Lionsgate straight-to-DVD shaker, and you’ve got yourself a Blackwater Valley Exorcism cocktail. It may not go down very smooth, but at least the next 90 minutes will be forgotten by tomorrow."
UKM: Ulimate Killing Machine: Tex Massacre writes, "UKM might be derivative, I could list a dozen or more films, both high and low brow that hit all the same markers, but that doesn’t make it terrible. However, it clearly suffers from the tight reins of cash flow when it needs it most and the villain is more tragic than terrifying which, leaves the whole of the film laying in the hands of four fairly inexperienced actors and one Reservoir Dog who gets neutered far to soon."
Slayer: Tex Massacre writes, "Was I just preached to in a low budget vampire film about the ills of industrial society? It took me a minute to check the box art—I wanted to make sure that Al Gore wasn’t actually bankrolling this production. Sadly it appears that Gore didn’t front any of the cash, which would have ultimately made for the most entertaining part of SLAYER."
Deadlands: The Rising: Ryan Daley writes, "Unfortunately, Deadlands: The Rising emerges as the lowest common denominator of low budget horror pics: a movie without a purpose, a movie without a soul. Adding insult to injury is Gary and Dave’s public service announcement preceding the movie: hey, guys, I’m not selling 8-track players at The Hi-Fi Shop in 1978, I know what the black bars at the top of the bottom of the screen are for, but thanks so much for the heads up."
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