**BLOG #6: DOWN WITH FOX NEWS! - JUST ADDED INSIDE! (November 2, 2006)** With Lionsgate's Saw III only weeks away we've started a very special segment here on Bloody-Disgusting, something you can only read here! Starting today you'll be able to read Writer/Director Darren Lynn Bousman's blogs exclusively here at your favorite horror website. Inside you'll find the first volume, where Darren talks about Boo Berry cereal, his Scream Awards appearance (which you can also watch) and watching Saw III for the hundredth time (I know you're jealous).
**BLOG #6: DOWN WITH FOX NEWS! (November 2, 2006)**
Ok... so - Halloween is probably the single most important Holiday in my life... Ever since I was a kid - it was THE HOLIDAY! The costumes - the parties - the haunted houses - the candy! Everything that I love all combined into one very special day... Ok - so lets add a couple more things - HORROR and MOVIES... With the recent success of SAW II, and SAW III - both being #1 openers - and both opening on the Halloween weekend - it solidified the importance of this very special day... So what can I do to aid in the Halloween experience? What, as a fan of horror - and all that is Halloween, do to make this Halloween night - a night to remember!!!! Well my dear friends the answer is simple!!!
THROW a massive Halloween party - and then have it crashed and shut down by LAPD SWAT - and one of their ROAMING HELICOPTERS!!! Yes that is right. The Halloween party thrown by the lovely Shawnee Smith and myself - that was suppose to go down in the history books as the PLACE TO BE - was shut down after 90 minutes of festivities by the largest police presence I have ever seen since living in Los Angeles... After hiring an event planner - hiring security - having what I thought to be a very tight guest list - this party which was being planned by 'our expert' event planner turned into a scene straight out of HEAT!!! Some planning! Bet they didn't account for the "ghetto birds" or the 18 cop cars!!!
For those of you who attended - I apologize for a night cut short. Rest assured – next year - it's going to be bigger - and badder - my goal is to get the National Guard to show up and throw everyone out!!!!
But I digress - lets talk about something else... Hmmm... How about Bill O'Reilly... Don't know who ol' Bill is... well you should familiarize yourself with him. Please, everyone - watch this!
Okay - I try not to get political - try not to offer my opinions unless asked... But this was the single most ignorant rant I have ever heard... Trust me when I tell you - I have heard a number of 'asinine' things said about horror films - and these new 'torture porn' films as they have been labeled. I understand they are not for everyone... But come on... If you are going to debate the merits of these 'gorno' films... At least come up with something original to say - or at the very least, know what you are talking about...
The first thing that struck me about his "rant" is how these films could have never been made 10 years ago... Ok - THEY WERE being made 10 years ago... They were being made 20 years ago - hell even 30 years ago... Gore based horror films have been around for a long, long time... Go back to the early 70's and check out the 'grindhouse' films - if you want some recommendations give me a shout - I could even lend you some of mine if need be... I wish we could take the credit for creating these - but sadly we can't... They started long before us - and will exist long after us...
Next - on your 'report' you mention that you have NEVER seen one of these 'gorno' films... Nor - in that matter had anyone on your panel. So - don't you think it's a bit hasty to be judging something you have not seen. Tell you what - I will send you a copy of the SAW series - once you have watched the three films - and educated yourself with Jigsaw and all his 'wacky' victims - then we can talk about the merit of them.
You also ask if Lionsgate or any of the exec's 'explain it..." EXPLAIN why they allow these films to be made..." I believe the word you used was 'garbage'. You know that is a fantastic question - just the other day I was wondering if the exec's at Paramount were going to explain why they make Romantic Comedies... - - - Come on... that is the most ridiculously statement I have thus far heard... If you don't like the product - stop buying it! No one is forcing ya to sit in the theatre and watch endless hours of blood and guts. Speaking of torture - - torture is not the same for everyone... Sitting in a theatre forced to watch UNDER THE TUSCUN SUN is torture for me. Yet I am not asking the makers of that film to EXPLAIN themselves to me... I just stand up and walk out of the theatre...
Horror is not going away anytime soon... We are here to stay...
-dlb
BLOG #5: #1 MOVIE IN AMERICA! (October 31, 2006)
THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU!!!! We did it again.... #1 movie in America... It is such a surreal feeling... Go from some douche bag getting coffee four years ago - to now, some douche bag making movies... As much as I try to grasp what is happening - I can't...
So Friday night - we did our ritual... The cast, producers and I - went from theatre to theatre popping our heads in checking on the crowd - checking on the reaction... A lot of people don't get this... The main reason I do it - is to gauge reaction... Horror films aren't really for critics... Main stream Critics for the most part don't get, don't back, don't understand - or just don't like 'these type of films'. Who we care about is the audience... The people who actually love horror films... How do THEY feel about the movie? That's the only critic I care about...
It's so fucking exciting to see people jump... squirm... shift uncomfortably in their seat... What's even more exciting is to see people 'walk out disgusted' during the movie... As I was in one theatre - about 10 minutes in, this couple stood up and stormed out of the theatre... What was great was the entire cast of SAW III was there - standing towards the back - by the door. This couple - completely clueless - is enraged "THIS MOVIE IS SICK... Lets leave..." OKAY - - reality check people... It's SAW III... Not TERMS OF ENDEARMENT - - we market this movie as an IN YOUR FACE - violent - gore fest... I am still amazed at those who go see this film and leave upset about the amount of gore and violence... I would think by now they would have caught on to what to expect!
But what a week!!! Pardon my french - but I FUCKING LOVE HALLOWEEN!!!!
Thanks again to everyone for proving that HARDCORE HORROR is still very much alive - and going to be around for a long, long time!
dlb
BLOG #4: BLOOD SHEDS (October 26, 2006)
So it all boils down to this... A year of sleepless nights - continually fighting - nervous anticipation - and it all comes down to this - - - in less than 24 hours SAW III makes itself known to the world... It is unleashed...
A film is a lot like having a kid... (or so I would imagine... I mean I don't have any kids - at least ones that I am aware of...) The foreplay (the script writing) - the hard core sex (the production) - the agonizing pregnancy and birth - (the editing process). Then the day comes where your kid leaves home (the movie is released). You hope you did a good job raising it - and hope others will not make fun of him... No one wants to see one of their own torn apart - because of the the love and admiration you have shared over the past 18 years (in this case 1 year) raising your baby!!!!
I am not sure if that made any sense to anyone other than myself...
I digress - SAW III opens in 24 hours - - - I am excited - I am nervous - I am gitty - I am noxious - I am hung over! Well, the last part mainly do to the fact I am in Las Vegas... VEGASSSSSSSSS!!!! We have a screening here at the PALMS hotel tonight. All the cast is showing up - the producers - etc... It's going to be crazy... and tonight... at 12:01am- the movie opens all across America - and beyond.
Jigsaw - Amanda - the traps - the twists, the turns - the puppet the FUCKING anticipation is killing me.
So - many of you have asked... What do I think of the film? What is my honest reaction??? I love it! I love every thing about it... I am very proud of this film... The acting... The writing... The cinematography... The editing... The sets... the traps... The emotion... The gore... It's all there... Everything you want and have come to expect in a SAW film is there! But please... don't take my word for it... Go check it out for yourself...
So as the clock ticks down - and the minutes melt away until it's release - I am going to go hang out with my friends and family... My parents are here with me - my brother, my girlfriend... We are in Vegas... There are topless revues to check out... There is money that needs to be gambled... There are rum and cokes that need to be 'drunk'... The one thing I won't be doing tonight is worrying... not tonight... that's somebody else's job.
What happens in Vegas - stays in Vegas... well, not with me... I'll make sure to write about it in my next blog!
-db
BLOG #3: JAPAN (October 22, 2006)
Alright - I am back in LA... Since last we talked I have traveled on FOUR MORE airlines - been to Japan and back... Currently I am rushing to the press day in Los Angeles... But before I head off - I wanted to fill you all in with the cliff notes on my Japan trip...
Okay... First off Japan is amazing... For those of you who have been you know what I am talking about... For those of you who haven't - buy yourself a ticket...
So as I get off the plane in Tokyo the first thing I see is a Japanese newspaper with - get this - "THE CHAIN GUYS" picture on it... You know who I am talking about - TROY from SAW III. Come to find out there is some sort of 'issue' going on with SAW III in Japan - it appears that much like in America - their films have to pass through the censorship boards and get cleared... Well my friends - SAW III got 'held up' by their censors. (I'll come back to that later).
So, I get my luggage and my good friends from ASMIK ACE are waiting for me... Chuck, Joe, Massa and Ayumi... After our salutations and 'how you do's.' I am handed my schedule. My eyes franticly scanned page after page of interviews.
I turn to my assistant Jane who came with me this year... "Well Jane - looks like we won't be seeing a lot of Tokyo..."
She turned to me - with her innocent smile... "No, YOU won't be seeing a lot of Tokyo! I have shopping to do!" And with that - she hailed a cab and disappeared into the crowed streets.
The interview process... What always baffles me is how reporters latch on to the smallest things and the importance they put on those small details... Ideas, and threads I touched on in SAW III - became important discussion pieces. It's really quite impressive the detail the Japanese get into when discussing a movie.
There was one common thing that all the reporters wanted to talk about... The blood - violence - and gore... Many of them expressed concern that the film would have problems being released in Japan in it's current state - due to the unrelenting violence. SAW, and SAW II both had an R-15 banner attached to the film. While SAW III has being issues an R-18 banner in Japan (it's like our NC-17).
The other thing which made me, as a filmmaker very ecstatic was the reviewers were picking up on the emotional threads of the film. Most all of the reporters pointed out that this was the most emotional of the series. One reporter said that when asked to describe SAW III to his editor he said "VIOLENT and EMOTIONAL" Never thought those two would go hand in hand with a SAW film but I'll take it!!!!
One thing that did surprise me was the reaction from the female reporters... I guess I went in expected them to look at it as a horror film - and I guess, crossed my finger hoping they 'got it'. The female audience seemed to LOVE this particular film. Numerous female interviews would want to discuss the 'strong' female roles in SAW III.
The highlight of trip for me however was the premiere. The last night I was there - SAW III was screened in one of Tokyo's biggest theatres... This was the first time I was able to see the film with an audience. Needless to say I didn't really 'watch' the film - but instead 'watched the audience' watch the film... I wish I had a camera in there... The reaction to them seeing some of crap we do was PRICELESS... There was a man sitting a couple rows in front of me - that when a 'particular scene' began - he put his hands over his ears - and stared at the floor... HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!!! That is what I am talking about!!!
After the screening a couple of people came up to me - and told me they cried during the end!!! THEY CRIED!!! I couldn't have ask for a better reaction!!!
After the screening the Asmik Ace guys took Jane and I out on the town... This was my first and only real excursion from the hotel. It was insane - as we were driving around Tokyo there were SAW III banners and posters all over the place... One thing I love about the Asmik Ace crew is their die hard publicizing of the film. These were not only 'just' posters - but 3-D rotating JIGSAW faces - - WATERFALLS over MASSIVE banners... They went all out this year and are really standing behind this film.
So - we are sitting at dinner - after the screening - and 'CHUCK' receives a phone call - a little smile passes over his face... "Aye" he says and hangs up... He goes back to eating his food...
"Everything okay" I ask?
"Film just got passed our ratings board - everything is great!"
dlb
BLOG #2: ROCK N' SHOCK (October 15, 2006)
Ok, so it's 7:47am... I am currently in Boston... er, uh, wait - no I am not... where the hell am I? Washington? Yeah thats it - for the next hour I am in Washington - just another layover on my way to Kansas... I haven't slept in three days now...
Two days ago I was in New York - jumped on another plane - and headed to BOSTON for an event called ROCK AND SHOCK - - it's a horror / rock and roll convention that yours truly spoke at. Speaking of 'speaking' yesterday I did a radio show while in Boston - - I can't help but think whenever I speak I end up sounding like a douche bag. Normally I wouldn't really care if I did sound like a 'douche' bag - but when you think all those people driving to work that had their radio on and were listening in... Oh well... Next note to self (1. Lose weight... 2. Stop sounding like a jackass) Right... moving on.
So - ROCK AND SHOCK - is a convention where a bunch of horror and sci-fi geeks go and... well... 'geek' out. So I go and check in the hotel and standing there in the lobby is none other than MICHAEL ROOKER (Slither, Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer). I quickly tried to 'SLITHER' past him but he spotted me! DARREN he screamed at the top of his lungs - informing the ENTIRE hotel I had arrived... I love Rook - but Rook has more energy than a five year old kid high on sugar and crack! All I wanted to do was sleep - but someone I was convinced to join him for a 'quick' bite. Side note - there is no such thing as a 'quick' anything in dealing with Rook... So first I got to go check in - and head to the reception desk - as I am fishing around for my wallet - I look over and standing beside me is SIG HAIG... Ok - I try not to get star struck - but IT'S SID FUCKING HAIG!!! How can you not get star struck!!!!????? So I finish checking in and start toward the elevator - and quickly I notice Mr. Haig is right behind me... So here is my chance to be a fan boy...
"Hi... Mr Haig, my name is Darren Bousman and I got to tell you I am a huge fan! Captain Spauldin is one of my favorite character out of a film in the last 10 years!!"
He stared at me for a second, an uncomfortable silence... "Thanks..." he says
So now we are in the elevator the uncomfortable silence followed us in from the hall... So the door opens up, my floor - as I am leaving Sid turns to me... "I am really looking forward to your film... The trailers are sick!" Thats where I almost passed out! Sid Haig knew who the fuck I was!!!!! Captain 'fucking' Spalding knew who I was!!!!
I exit the elevator - I'll come back to Sid in a couple minutes...
So I throw my stuff down in my room - in the midsts of fielding another cals from Rooker asking where the hell I was... "I was making best friends forever with Sid Haig - Michael!!!" Geesh!
I meet Rook in this shitty restaurant downstairs... We are sitting there eating when I look over and standing right in front of me is Bill Moseley (CHOP TOP, OTIS DRIFTWOOD)... I choke on my food a little bit, again the 'fan boy' coming out.
"Trailer for your film looks crazy"
Fuck - how do you respond to that?!?!? That is BILL Moseley - - THAT IS CHOP TOP!!!!
So lets cut to the convention - I arrive - eager to make my appearance and talk to the fans... But more eager to just 'be one'. Who would I run into?? Well my dear friends - if I wasn't in a serious relationship with a girl who could kick my ass - I might have proposed, not once - BUT TWICE that night. As I was standing there - gazing over all the horror celebs - I eyes landed on Danielle Harris who is Danielle Harris? Halloween 5 anyone????? Last Boy Scout???? So I go over and talk to her... Say hello... and as I am standing there talking.... (In reality I wasn't talking - more of opening my mouth and sounding like a jackass) I turn, and right beside her is Barbara Nedeljakova (Hostel). So at this point I am pretty sure I can finally die saying I have accomplished everything I ever set out to do.
Here is everything gets REALLY crazy... I go do my panel hosted by the great UNCLE CREEPY, and after sign autographs... I am very happy to admit I signed my first chest!!! I am not very happy to admit it was a guys!!!! Anyway I am sitting there signing posters and this very kind sweet looking man comes up. In a soft voice he tells me how much he loves the Saw films and how much he is looking forward to the third. Something was odd about him... I couldn't tell what... We spoke for a couple of moments and then it hit me... this was DOUG BRADLY I was speaking to PINHEAD!!!! I was signing an autograph for fuck'n PINHEAD!!! In the midsts of signing this autograph for PINHEAD - Bill Moseley (CHOP TOP) comes up to me...
"Darren, Sid and I would like to invite you to a little 'party' we are having tonight..." Dear Jesus!!! Partying with SID HAIG and Bill Moseley!!! UM - YES PLEASE!!!!!!! Now - this is where the night took a massive 'insane' turn... But my friends, there are some things you just can't talk about... Some things that can't be spoken of! This was one of those nights! But I can say it did involve a 'wedding ceremony, supernatural elements, Sid Haig's FUDGE, and having drinks with Pazuzu. Who is Pazuzu - - - shame on you!
Well guys - time to board another flight!!!! 13 days!!!! 13 days!!!!
dlb
BLOG #1: THE SCREAM AWARDS (October 11, 2006)
Ok... so my first blog for Bloody Disgusting... What in the hell should I write? I am guessing writing about cereal would not be the wisest idea - seeing as how the last time I wrote about cereal my blog was taken down and canceled... So - I guess that means I should probably talk about the film right? Well, hold on - lets get back to food for one second. DEAR JESUS - why the fuck did no one tell me I had gained like 300 pounds? Did anyone else see the SCREAM AWARDS??? Okay - so I jumped at the opportunity to appear on network TV. I mean HELL YES I want to promote SAW III - and to do it on an award show - where they cut the top of my scalp off - WHO WOULDN'T DO THAT???? Note to self - before ever appearing on ANYTHING ever again, lose that fucking gut!!!! Put down the cereal and hit the gym... So rest assured horror fans - there will be no more talk of food... no more witty comments about 'BOO BERRY' cereal... We, my friends have more important things to talk about... THE MOVIE...
Okay, it's the 10th... In 17 days SAW III is released... NO SCRATCH THAT - UNLEASHED... to the world! This time last year I was nervous, scared, uncertain, freaking out, and spent most of my free time curled up into a little ball in the fetal position in my bed room... This year... well, still a little nervous - but I have gotten myself out of the fetal position (mainly because I can't fit in the fetal position anymore due to my larger than normal gut) and am out promoting the HELL out of this movie... I have to say I am so PROUD of this movie!!! It turned out better than my wildest expectations... Tobin and Shawnee are FUCKING amazing... The film is 10x darker, 10x scarier, 10x more violent, and 10x more intense than II... I want to go on and on - but I opt to let the film speak for itself.
So it's 11:00pm... I am sitting at LAX about to start a massive publicity trip for the movie... Tomorrow I am in New York... Thursday Boston... Then off to TOKYO!!!! I will be checking back in frequently - filling you all in with stories and antics from the set of SAW III...
Also hope to shed a little light on how it is possible for these films to be made as quickly as they are, as that seems to be a common question I am always asked...
Quick side story before I embark on my journey to New York... Last week, while I was still in Toronto I had to check the answer prints for the movie... Checking an answer print is when you get to see for the first time - visual and audio married together. I can't say I was overly excited about seeing the movie 'again' as in the process of editing, it is not uncommon to see the movie 100 or more times... You begin to lose perspective... Is this really 'that' scary? Is this really 'that' gory? You become desensitized... Last week was the first time that I was able to sit down and just 'watch' the film in it's entirety. It was the first time I was able to sit back as an audience member and see the film how an audience member would 'see' the film... WOW... It's hard to put words on the experience, but I will try - - appalled, disgusted, horrified, disturbed, excited, relieved... There I was, the director of this film actually disgusted by the images I was seeing... Appalled that somehow we got away with what we did... Excited that the film had turned out like Leigh, James and I had wanted... and relieved that I had amazing producers - and a company like Lions Gate who is willing to push the envelope, backing this type movie, and this type of story...
darren please dont let them do a SAW 4, SAW 3 was the perfect ending! dont let them ruin it and make it become like freddy or jason where it gets stupid as it goes on. hear me out. i speak for 95% of the message board on lionsgates website when i say "NO SAW 4!!!!" because we all know how you said that if there is a saw 4 made that jigsaw is guarenteed to be in it. well how the hell is that gonna be if hes dead! i mean yeah he got his throat slit just like tapp in the first movie and he lived. but for one, jigsaws on his death bed, and two theres no one to give him medical attention. and even if there was! how would they get through that locked door! or even find the abandoned warehouse any way.....and if saw 4 is gonna be an official prequel thats gonna be even worse cause every one knows prequels suck.....please no saw 4....
i agree. saw 4 would be stupid and just a sad attempt of lionsgate trying to milk saw for everything its got. how would you continue the series, yes jigsaw could live on through pre-recorded tapes which is how the ending of saw 3 came about but thatd be incredibly dumb and you cant base a full length movie on pre-recorded tapes and previously captured people. theres officially no where else for the saw story to go unless you use the concept that mastermind killes have copycats eventually. which of course is retarded! saw 4 would disgrace the saw franchise.
B-D,
Please Oh Please Oh Please forward all the comments that are made here to Darren Lynn Bousman and the Saw Team. DONT MAKE ANY MORE INSTALLMENTS. This film was the perfect wrap up, it would be more than horrible to have the husband pick up where Jigsaw left off or to have Amanda survive or to have Jigsaw survive etc etc.
This is a great horror trilogy and you have done an excellent job. Coming from all horror fans please don't disgrace the series with any more films. Despite how good the 3rd film was, I have to admit that I didn't leave the theatre with the same feeling I left after the first 2 films. I left the theatre with a complete feeling and I think most of your loyal fans did the same.
Just come up with a new horror movie and idea. I understand this is all about money and that you want to milk this for all its worth but the franchise has definately made a lot of money and you all have a lot of respect. Please don't throw your respect out of the window for more money. Again make a new, fresh horror franchise and I promise we will support it.
Jess Dee
Virginia Beach, VA
wow i dont know what to say to that comment below so im just going to keep silent. But as far as Darren goes, i loved saw 3, yes i hope they make a saw 4 and 5 and 6...yeah it seems stupid and cliche, but the saw franchise is great. They're great films with original ideas, finally getting away from the typical slasher films. The gore well it just keeps getting better and better, I read about Darren talking about old grindhouse films, im only 20 and i wasnt around when they came out but i do my research and right on brotha! Ill have to take you up on borrowing some of yours if you ever read these things. I thought Darren directed a great saw film and i hope he gets a chance to do another great film cuz i know he'll do a great job. As far as Fox and Bill O'Reily they are just miserable old fucks who want to blame societies problems on whats hot and right now its horror movies...ten years ago it was violent video games and marilyn manson, ten years from now who knows but we can all bet Bill will still be alive and kickin with more ignorant shit to say, and i look forward to it. Horror is not going away anytime soon... We are here to stay...well put and enough said.
Don't bother listening to Fox News, they aren't reslly in a position to criticize anyone else when their network is nothing but a propaganda outlet for Bush and the republican party.
They have to push a conservative right-wing agenda, which is "pro-family" where everyone's happy and nothing's wrong in the world, rah rah. That means there's no room for horror.
O'Reilly's show actually aired video of the pedophile Republican Mark Folely only they labelled him a "Democrat" to confuse voters. The network's in the habit of skewing news and raly voters to their side. And this scare campaign is used to ceate a moral panic over horror films which have been around for 30 years.
O'reilly himself is a racist; he actually used the term "wetback" on his show without any recourse or discipline from the nework.
The man's a redneck in a suit, pay no mind to his lunatic rantings. Just vote democrat and watch him sulk for the next four years.
Ok, I am actually very excited about saw 4.. And my dream coming true would be to write one.. To be honest I have actually began writing my own version of saw 4.. however I have no idea how to get a hold of twisted pictures....
But thats not why I am here.
Fox news is a crazy ass, right winged, pro family activist...blah blah blah..
Also for you haters of the saw franchise and the saw series... This is real horror...
Saw is #1 franchise ever.
I am so unbelievably offended by that news report. I mean wtf is that they think we all have sick minds that want to go around hurting everyone stfu people!. thats not true at all i mean the reason these events are so gorry and these people are being put in the situation is becuase for you to change the way you are something significant has to happen thats #1 and #2 the reason we watch these movies are because they have great storys especially saw 1,2,3 they have a great story to them and are very well done.
Jason, you don't know how to react to the comment I made because you're the kind of silent retard that SAW 3 appeals to. I totally, whole-heartedly agree with both the reporter and the psychologist in the Fox video. If you enjoy SAW 3, then you probably have issues, in particular repressed anger - as they suggest. The Saw series does NOT qualify as horror, it's sadism there's a difference. If you want 'more gore' what exactly does that mean...sounds like you need help....
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Ok... so - Halloween is probably the single most important Holiday in my life... Ever since I was a kid - it was THE HOLIDAY! The costumes - the parties - the haunted houses - the candy! Everything that I love all combined into one very special day... Ok - so lets add a couple more things - HORROR and MOVIES... With the recent success of SAW II, and SAW III - both being #1 openers - and both opening on the Halloween weekend - it solidified the importance of this very special day... So what can I do to aid in the Halloween experience? What, as a fan of horror - and all that is Halloween, do to make this Halloween night - a night to remember!!!! Well my dear friends the answer is simple!!!
Okay - I try not to get political - try not to offer my opinions unless asked... But this was the single most ignorant rant I have ever heard... Trust me when I tell you - I have heard a number of 'asinine' things said about horror films - and these new 'torture porn' films as they have been labeled. I understand they are not for everyone... But come on... If you are going to debate the merits of these 'gorno' films... At least come up with something original to say - or at the very least, know what you are talking about...
THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU!!!! We did it again.... #1 movie in America... It is such a surreal feeling... Go from some douche bag getting coffee four years ago - to now, some douche bag making movies... As much as I try to grasp what is happening - I can't...
So it all boils down to this... A year of sleepless nights - continually fighting - nervous anticipation - and it all comes down to this - - - in less than 24 hours SAW III makes itself known to the world... It is unleashed...
Alright - I am back in LA... Since last we talked I have traveled on FOUR MORE airlines - been to Japan and back... Currently I am rushing to the press day in Los Angeles... But before I head off - I wanted to fill you all in with the cliff notes on my Japan trip...
She turned to me - with her innocent smile... "No, YOU won't be seeing a lot of Tokyo! I have shopping to do!" And with that - she hailed a cab and disappeared into the crowed streets.
The highlight of trip for me however was the premiere. The last night I was there - SAW III was screened in one of Tokyo's biggest theatres... This was the first time I was able to see the film with an audience. Needless to say I didn't really 'watch' the film - but instead 'watched the audience' watch the film... I wish I had a camera in there... The reaction to them seeing some of crap we do was PRICELESS... There was a man sitting a couple rows in front of me - that when a 'particular scene' began - he put his hands over his ears - and stared at the floor... HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!!! That is what I am talking about!!!
Ok, so it's 7:47am... I am currently in Boston... er, uh, wait - no I am not... where the hell am I? Washington? Yeah thats it - for the next hour I am in Washington - just another layover on my way to Kansas... I haven't slept in three days now...
"Hi... Mr Haig, my name is Darren Bousman and I got to tell you I am a huge fan! Captain Spauldin is one of my favorite character out of a film in the last 10 years!!" 
So lets cut to the convention - I arrive - eager to make my appearance and talk to the fans... But more eager to just 'be one'. Who would I run into?? Well my dear friends - if I wasn't in a serious relationship with a girl who could kick my ass - I might have proposed, not once - BUT TWICE that night. As I was standing there - gazing over all the horror celebs - I eyes landed on Danielle Harris who is Danielle Harris? Halloween 5 anyone????? Last Boy Scout???? So I go over and talk to her... Say hello... and as I am standing there talking.... (In reality I wasn't talking - more of opening my mouth and sounding like a jackass) I turn, and right beside her is Barbara Nedeljakova (Hostel). So at this point I am pretty sure I can finally die saying I have accomplished everything I ever set out to do. 
Ok... so my first blog for Bloody Disgusting... What in the hell should I write? I am guessing writing about cereal would not be the wisest idea - seeing as how the last time I wrote about cereal my blog was taken down and canceled... So - I guess that means I should probably talk about the film right? Well, hold on - lets get back to food for one second. DEAR JESUS - why the fuck did no one tell me I had gained like 300 pounds? Did anyone else see the SCREAM AWARDS??? Okay - so I jumped at the opportunity to appear on network TV. I mean HELL YES I want to promote SAW III - and to do it on an award show - where they cut the top of my scalp off - WHO WOULDN'T DO THAT???? Note to self - before ever appearing on ANYTHING ever again, lose that fucking gut!!!! Put down the cereal and hit the gym... So rest assured horror fans - there will be no more talk of food... no more witty comments about 'BOO BERRY' cereal... We, my friends have more important things to talk about... THE MOVIE...
Also hope to shed a little light on how it is possible for these films to be made as quickly as they are, as that seems to be a common question I am always asked...
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