Tuesday, August 17, 2004
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This is 100% the real deal! I've had this news post ready for a long time now, but held off on posting anything for the saftey of B-D and the sake of the movie, but with the stories breaking today, I decided to go for it! A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at a park bench when I was approached by a hideous creature- probably a demon from hell. He says to me, "I know you're that horror nut Mr. D and I've got an offer for you, trade me your soul for a look at the script for Freddy vs Jason vs Ash." How could I refuse? I told him to throw in an almond cookie, and then we had a deal. Out of thin air pops the script- bound like the Necronomicon. I figured since I'm already damned to hell; I might as well share my thoughts with you, read on for the scoop!
As you figured, I have read the script 'treatment' for Freddy vs Jason vs Ash, there were only a couple lines of dialogue, it was basically the story told in storybook form- from the beginning to the final bloody climax. If there is one thing I want you to gain from this review, it's that Freddy vs Jason vs Ash makes up for all of the mistakes in the first film (like missing Freddy kill scenes)!
I must keep this review vague, so New Line doesn't castrate me for real, and use the footage in the next Texas Chainsaw Massacre film- but I'll give you a taste of the forbidden fruits- because Mr. D wants his readers happy!
Freddy vs Jason vs Ash will be one of the greatest horror movies of all time, because the script shows that it understands the characters, the history of each backstory, the cliche's and most of all- the genre.
The most important thing that drives this amazing story is this one fact that has eluded all of our minds- the Necronomicon is in the Voorhees house! Sure you remember, it's in the basement, it appeared in Jason Goes to Hell- now it's all coming back to you, isn't it?
The movie takes place almost directly after Freddy vs Jason, when Freddy winks (yep, the wink was for a reason), the movie wasn't really over- did you really think it would be that easy after 25 years of terror? I'm not going to tell you anything more, except that this is probably one of the coolest 'comebacks' in the history of sequels.
Now Ash, how does he fit into the mix? Quite simply- he wants to destroy the Necronomicon and fulfill his destiny, which was prophesized in the Evil Dead series (the series couldn't end yet, he hasn't achieved his destiny). Well without me giving away the story, somehow Jason, Freddy and the "born under a bad sign" ass-kickin Ash come face to face to face- numerous times. The continuity is genuine and fantastic- every angle was thought out, there are NO plot holes that I can see and everything makes complete sense. It really almost seems like it was masterminded almost a decade ago.
Lets talk Ash: Hes the same old Ashley J. Williams that's been in the first three films- only he's older and sick of playing around. He's on a mission, and when he must make decisions between himself and other outside factors, he almost always chooses 'himself'- typical of Ash. He still works at S-mart and there just happens to be a new S-mart opening right by the 'new' Crystal Lake- wink wink.
Jason: He's the same kick-ass Ken Kirzinger looking Jason (a la Jason Lives, the best of the series), only there's a twist, and when you find out this twist- you are going to crap yourselves- no bull! Can you say better Friday the 13th movies in the future (no, he doesn't turn into a robot)?
Freddy: Oh Freddy is pissed this time, and we get to see more of the crazy looking demon Freddy- I'm so excited! He's tricky, cunning, and most of all sadistically funny. But this time Freddy has a new goal, which by the sound of it, is the biggest plan that he has ever concocted! You wanted a Nightmare on Elm Street movie, you got one!
One reason this movie is going to be a blast is that 2/3 of the movie looks to be as big as- or even bigger than- the battle at the end of Freddy vs Jason. The tone is even more serious, and the pace is quick. There isn't too much time explaining the history of the characters- we pretty much just get a short Ash flashback story- for the goons who've never seen an Evil Dead movie.
There is a new environment, which should quite interesting. The movie takes place around Christmas, so there's snow and ice and everyone is just so cheery!
But most of all, I love the "nods" to each franchise. There is a certain sequence that involved Ash, and the return of his cut off hand, which is by far one of the greatest ideas I've ever heard of; I yelled out loud, "NO FUC#!NG WAY!" It's so hard for me to keep this under wraps, because it is seriously so brilliant.
I promise you, I was afraid that this wouldn't work, but it does. Everything is perfectly packaged and sealed with a pretty (bloody) bow.
This is your new best friend Mr. Disgusting signing off...
Please Note: #1. Do NOT email me any questions, because this is the extent
that I can go, no further.
#2 Kane Hodder as of right now will 100% NOT be returning as Jason- and Ronny Yu is almost confirmed to direct...
Source: Spygirl, Bloody-Disgusting
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