Monday, June 1, 2009
By: Tex Massacre
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Are you still a fan of Snakes on a Plane, or how about the ongoing Anacondas franchise? If you answered "yes" to either one, this is a pretty solid Horror In Your House, featuring not one, but two giant snake movies arriving on DVD everywhere. Hitting retailers and retail chains tomorrow are Fox Home Entertainment's Silent Venom and Sony Home Entertainment's Anacondas 4. Read on for the full list.
ANACONDAS: TRAIL OF BLOOD: Sony Pictures
One of the slithering, genetically enhanced anaconda offspring has regenerated to live on in this next action-packed chapter of the Anaconda series. The dying mogul, Murdoch, hires a doctor to harvest a fresh supply of blood orchids and experiment with the regenerative nectar on a baby snake. Overnight, the offspring grows monstrous enough in size and appetite to devour the good doctor whole, before slithering free on a regenerative rampage. The beautiful herpetologist, Amanda, dedicated to destroying the vicious beasts she helped create, leads a team of young scientists against a ruthless pack of Murdoch's armed thugs to get the coveted orchids before the snake hunts both factions down. The bloodthirsty offspring is seemingly invincible, sliding through explosions and gunfire only to regenerate and prey insatiably on anything in its path.
TEX SAYS: Come on…you know you want to see this.
ELSEWHERE: E1
In a small town, girls are mysteriously disappearing and no one seems to care. After revealing to her best friend Sarah that she has been meeting men online, Jillian goes missing. Now, the only clues to her whereabouts are her diary and a cryptic message sent from her cell phone.
TEX SAYS: Yikes it’s Lost meets Twilight when assorted cast members of both shows appear in this uber-lame teen thriller.
THE HUNGER: The Complete First Season (4-disc set): E1 (TEX’S PICK OF THE WEEK)
Terence Stamp hosts the complete season one of this Showtime horror anthology series (presented by directors Tony and Ridley Scott), which features a phenomenal cast of familiar faces as you’ve never seen them before. Inspired by leading horror writers (including Brian Lumley and Robert Bloch), each episode will draw you into a mesmerizing world of horrific characters and erotic encounters, where demons feed on the weakness of men and temptation consumes reason.
TEX SAYS: It’s a pretty weak week but, check out this serious from the late 90’s Showtime era. It’s got some interesting star appearances too boot.
MONSTURD: Brain Damage
Escaped serial killer Jack Schmidt is on the run from the police and FBI after escaping from jail. They corner him and gun him down in a sewer tunnel, where he falls into a pool of chemicals dumped by the Dutech company. The combination of feces and this chemical transforms him into a half human, half feces creature, who goes on a killing rampage. It's up to a group of local law enforcers to stop him.
RAZORTOOTH: Lionsgate
Deep in the Florida Everglades, something is alive that should have died eons ago. Something is feeding when it should be full. Something is moving, in ways that seem all but impossible to pursuers. It's moving in the dark...under the surface of the waters…with an appetite that makes no distinction between man and beast. Now it's up to an unlikely band of locals, an animal control officer, a small-town sheriff and a scientist’s team of college youth to stop the threat...before it's too late.
RETARDEAD: Midnight Releasing
Evil has come to the Butte County Institute of Special Education, and its students will never be the same. After surviving a ferocious battle with his own monstrous creation, Dr. Stern returns to continue his horrible research in this blood-drenched sequel to the cult hit "Monsturd." Armed with a fatal hyper-intelligence serum, the mad doctor transforms a quiet community into an army of flesh-eating zombies. It's a showdown of limb-chopping, head-bursting proportions as Stern's nemesis, F.B.I. agent Susan Hannigan, and the local sheriff's department take on the zombie plague in the ultimate battle royale.
SILENT VENOM: Fox
Tom Berenger, Luke Perry and Krista Allen face off against a slithering mass of lethal and aggressive snakes in this heart-stopping thrill ride set hundreds of feet below sea level.
TEX SAYS: Yep….it’s snakes on a submarine. Fuck it!
Read 2 User Comments
probably will get monsturd and retardead |
Monsturd? Retardead? Wow. |
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