Movies
No Tickets Available For Lionsgate’s Empty ‘Train’ Ride…
I’ve been sitting in the back seat watching the stories unfold regarding Lionsgate vs. Clive Barker about his film The Midnight Meat Train. We reported awhile back that the film was slated to open in limited theaters on August 1st, which is all fine and dandy, until I found out that the film is opening in dollar theaters… yeah, $1 theaters. “They’re dumping it at mostly dollar theaters (the second run theaters, so it’ll make even LESS money),” writes B-D reader Brian W. (one of a handful who wrote in). “It’s playing at a Dollar Theater in Norwalk and Oklahoma and Idaho. Check MovieTickets.com if you don’t believe me. ” The question is, why does Lionsgate want the movie to make less money than it would normally in limited theaters? I’m going to investigate this further as something seems off. B-D readers are encouraged to report their findings below, good or bad. Note: Theater listings now inside…
Temeku Discount Cinema (Temecula,CA)
Cinemark Movies 10 (Cathedral City,CA)
La Mirada Dollar Movie 7 (La Mirada,CA)
Cinemark Movies 12 Lancaster (Lancaster,CA)
Bell Canyon Pavilions 8 (Phoenix,AZ)
Superstition Mall (Mesa,AZ)
Cinemark Movies 8 (Provo,UT)
Cinemark Valley Fair 9 (West Valley City,UT)
Cinemark Movies West 8 Cinema (Albuquerque,NM)
Cinemark Sugar House 10 (Salt Lake City,UT)
Cinemark Movies 8 Theatre (Albuquerque,NM)
East Pointe Movies 12 (El Paso,TX)
Cinemark Movies 12 (Springfield,OR)
Westgate Mall Cinema 6 (Amarillo,TX)
Gateway Movies 8 (Federal Way,WA)
Cinemark Movies 12 (Laredo,TX)
Cinemark Movies 16 (San Antonio,TX)
Northpark 7 (Oklahoma City,OK)
Robinson Crossing 8 (Norman,OK)
Crossroads Movies 8 (Oklahoma City,OK)
Cinemark Round Rock-Discount Movies 8 (Round Rock,TX)
Cinemark Movies 8 (North Richland Hills,TX)
Palace Theatre West (Wichita,KS)
Starplex Irving Cinema 10 (Irving,TX)
Movies 8 (Lewisville,TX)
From Clive Himself:
If you wish to see MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN in all its big screen glory at a THEATER near you, please do the following:
Cut and paste the message at the bottom of this post and e-mail it to:
1) investor relations at Lionsgate: keasterling@lionsgate.com
2) Lionsgate: general-inquiries@lionsgate.com
3) call Lionsgate at (310) 449-9200 and express your desire to see MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN get the release it deserves.
BE POLITE AND PROFESSIONAL! We do not want to piss them off, just want them to know how many fans out there would like to shell out their hard earned cash to see the most groundbreaking horror film of the past ten years in a real movie theater!
HERE’S A SAMPLE MESSAGE FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE (or feel free to compose your own):
Dear Lionsgate,
As a long time Clive Barker fan, I am writing you to express my strong desire to see “The Midnight Meat Train” on the big screen.
Rumors are currently circulating that the film will only be released on a limited basis and I am very concerned that I will miss my opportunity to see the most highly anticipated Clive Barker film in over a decade in all of its big screen glory!
There are millions of horror fans like myself who have been disappointed by the recent trend towards watered down PG-13 horror movies. Clive’s work represents a return to serious, thought provoking horror movies and with Ryuhei Kitamura at the helm, I am even more excited to experience this collaboration, as it was intended: in a packed theater with hundreds of other horror fans like myself!
I urge you to please give this film the release it deserves!
Many thanks,
YOUR NAME
Editorials
Not Another ‘Scary Movie’: Revisiting Forgotten Parody ‘Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th’
After Scream (1996) made a killing at the box office, as well as won over critics and audiences, a lot of folks in the movie biz thought they could do the same thing (and yield similar results). That thing, of course, being a slasher. Most of these opportunists wound up being pretty straightforward; they were low on humor or commentary. Yet others, like Scary Movie (2000), saw the potential for spoofing Scream, and acted on that impulse with both haste and excitement.
A few months after the Wayans’ comedy first hit theaters, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th landed on the USA Network, as part of the channel’s “Shriek Week” programming. That straight-to-cable (then home video) destination is possibly why many people still don’t know about this one. Or they simply chose to forget. Whatever the reason, only one of these two horror parodies came out on top—and it’s certainly not the movie where Coolio channeled Prince, and Tom Arnold saved the day.
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th previously went by the name of I Know What You Screamed Last Semester. That Trimark acquisition then settled on a wordier title, just so it could avoid the litigious wrath of Miramax Films. Folks may or may not remember that Columbia Pictures was sued over the “implied connection” between I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) and Scream. So, yeah, there was no way that this competing Scream parody wasn’t going to be kept on a tight rein.
A Heavy Reliance on Late ’90s TV References

Simon Rex, Julie Benz, Majandra Delfino, Harley Cross, Danny Strong, Tom Arnold and Tiffani-Amber Thiesen in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th.
Naturally, there would be similarities between Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th and Scary Movie—their scripts are built on the backs of the same two movies. It goes without saying that the other big slasher of the 1990s, I Know What You Did Last Summer, was as much of a target as Scream. However,the film pads itself with more TV references than Scary Movie did.
Half the cast coming off of (and in some cases, returning to) a WB show could be a reason why. Dawson’s Creek is particularly zeroed in on, based on how there’s a central character named “Dawson Deery“, and how the teen drama’s teacher-student affair plotline is satirized to the nth degree. As if there weren’t enough nods to television, Baywatch, VH1’s Pop Up Video, and even those cheesy Mentos commercials all serve as joke prompts.
Shriek director John Blanchard and writers Sue Bailey and Joe Nelms all hailed from television, so it’s understandable that they would stick close to home. The movie’s humor in general makes more sense, in light of learning that Blanchard worked on SCTV, Kids in the Hall, and MADtv. The writers, on the other hand, were each fairly green, with Bailey being the most experienced of the two; she wrote and produced the game show BattleBots. Nevertheless, they, plus Blanchard, churned out a passable, joke-a-minute movie. The whole thing is staggeringly of its time, but no one here was aiming for longevity.
Having seen enough of these kinds of movies, we know to expect jokes of the low-hanging fruit variety. That’s the parody’s whole prime directive. From the characters having names like “Screw Frombehind” and “Doughy Primesuspect”, to stereotyping that feels taboo nowadays, this is a movie from a different era of comedy. Its coarse, corny, and unapologetic sense of humor won’t sit well with everyone in these more enlightened times. In which case, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th can be treated as a time capsule.
Does Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th Humor Still Hold Up Today?

“You may already be a victim”—Someone receives a most peculiar threatening piece of mail in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th.
Although Shriek doesn’t live up to its own claims of being so funny that you’ll die of laughter, its bawdier parts could still lead to some nervous laughter. For instance, after this movie’s parallel to Drew Barrymore’s Scream character is done in—not by the killer but by a bug zapper—the movie throws a newspaper next to the victim’s fresh corpse. The headline? “Popular slut killed! Football team mourns”.
We then move on to the wacky and inappropriate goings-on at Bulimia Falls High School, home of the Hurlers. At this nexus of constant absurdity, indecency, and surrealism, students are seen fornicating on the lawn, cheerleading squad applicants are advised to be comfortable with partial nudity, and terrorists openly prepare for an anthrax attack. It can be a tad jarring to watch, especially if you didn’t grow up witnessing this style of comedy firsthand. Hell, even if you did, you may still have a “what the hell were they thinking?” reaction.
It’s not just the aggressively edgy humor here that can make you chuckle—the slapstick, the sight gags, and the ribaldry all have a decent chance of landing. The movie’s own villain, whose hockey mask was instantly transformed into a crudely Ghostface-esque one after coming in contact with an open flame, commits more cheap laughs than kills. His and his victims’ chase sequences, most of which are cartoonish in nature, left this writer grinning. The Scooby-Doo fan in me also totally ate up that clever unmasking joke.
Final Thoughts on This Forgotten Horror Parody

Shriek If You Know What Did Last Friday the 13th
Now, the jury is still out on whether these comedies are to blame for the death of the first slasher revival. There is more to consider than some parodies. At the very least, the likes of Scary Movie didn’t exactly encourage big studios to put their money on a trend that was being derided to death (and not as profitable as the spoofs). These sorts of movies also felt unnecessary at the time, given how their principal inspiration is already a deconstruction of the genre. But like anything else that quickly becomes popular, mockery is unavoidable.
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th is indeed a movie nobody asked for, much less needed. As a sample of pre-millennium humor and cultural attitudes, it’s not always precise. But as I’ve laid out, your mileage may vary. Horror parodies typically don’t have the best track record, so managing one’s own expectations here is recommended.
Upon rewatching, I for one laughed a bit more than I did back then. Only this time, I responded to the jokes that my younger self didn’t notice or find all that amusing. So it just goes to show that the movies don’t change—we do.

Harley Cross and Majandra Delfino must unmask the killer a number of times in Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th before learning their true identity.

You must be logged in to post a comment.