When it comes to the whole gimmick of “holiday horror”, it’s really hit and miss. Mostly miss. Let’s face it—Halloween and Friday the 13th got it right, but outside of those classics, it’s quite a dismal little subgenre. Don’t believe me? Then let’s relive some of it’s less-than-memorable followers, shall we?
The 10 Lamest Days of Horror the World Has Ever Known
It might be high-profile now thanks to the shiny new remake, but the original version was basically the Shemp of slasher movies. Two years after striking gold as Laurie Strode, Jamie Lee Curtis tried to recapture lightning in a bottle with this afterthought. Still, I do wish Leslie Neilsen was my high school principal.
9.ThanXgiving (2007)
No, I’m not talking about the Eli Roth trailer. That was actually quite awesome. Didn’t know there was actual Thanksgiving horror movie that came out (straight to DVD) last year? Well, consider yourself among the lucky ones. Even a starring turn from Ari Lehman, a.k.a. the guy who played Jason Voorhees at the end of the first Friday the 13th, isn’t enough to make this one interesting.
8. Don’t Open ‘Til Christmas (1984)
You would think that a movie with the tagline “’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…they were all dead!” would be awesome. You would be wrong. From the folks who brought us 1980’s Slaughter High came this tale of a serial killer hunting guys dressed as Santa. If only the filmmakers had been dressed that way.
7. My Bloody Valentine (1981)
This decidedly average affair was Paramount’s attempt to follow-up on Friday the 13th before they realized the better follow-up strategy would be to make endless sequels to it. The latest entry on the remake slate, the original centers on an urban legend about a stalker who murders lovers on Valentine’s Day. Oh, the bittersweet irony. Yawn.
6. Saturday the 14th (1981)
Long before Scary Movie, there was this impotent fright flick. Not even the great Jeffrey Tambor as the vampire Waldemar could save the nearly laugh-free goings-on in this movie about a family that moves into a house full of monsters. Makes the Wayans brothers seem like Woody Allen.
5. Memorial Day (1999)
At this point, it’s almost a shock that there was never a horror movie called Arbor Day (hopefully no producers are reading this). In this originality-challenged endeavor, a masked killer picks off a bunch of teenagers on a weekend getaway. By a lake. Hmmm.
4. New Year’s Evil (1980)
Other than the fact that my esteemed fellow horror blogger BC took his blog’s logo from this movie’s poster, nothing good has ever come from it. When a killer threatens to bump off women in advancing time zones as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, what can anyone do? Change the channel.
3. April Fool’s Day (1986)
At first, you’re not really sure if the murders are real or parts of an elaborate prank in this slasher flick with a twist. Unfortunately, you don’t care either way. Gotta love the chick with the noose hair braid on the video box cover, and a supporting role for Thomas “Biff from Back to the Future” Wilson, but that’s about it.
2. Happy Birthday to Me (1981)
Everyone remembers the famous shish-kabob-through-the-throat gag, but does that really make this one worth seeing? Classy actor Glenn Ford was cast in an effort to give this flick a more high-brow flavor than most other slasher entries, which is exactly why he was cast as Clark Kent’s dad in Superman: The Movie. Well, at least it worked once.
and the lamest day of horror the world has ever known…
1. Mother’s Day (1980)
Kind of a cross between The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and I Spit on Your Grave, except missing all the powerful filmmaking of the former and the raw shock value of the latter. Let this piece of exploitation trash be a reminder to us all that it takes more than just randomly throwing together offensive themes and images to make an effective horror movie. Besides, the actual Mother’s day is usually horrific enough. Do we really need to make a movie about it?
For more news and opinions on the world of horror, including the final part of The History of Horror and a look at the work of H.P. Lovecraft, check out Brian’s daily blog, The Vault of Horror, at thevaultofhorror.net.
Can agree on all but April's Fools Day,which is to me anyway a highly underrated,entertaining and relatively early mockup of the slasher genre.
Swap that with Silent Night,Deadly Night and the list is fine.
I actually think "happy birthday to Me was" was good, but then again I was a kid when it came out, the shish kabo it just classic...
But actually "Saturday the 14th" was the biggest piece of crap i put on my vhs, it was the comedy that made you wish everybody in it died a horrible death right away, that should be the Number 1 on the list....
lets take 2,3,6,7,8, and 10 off the list. And, maybe, stop making lists for the sake of grouping themed horror movies together. That, or, pick movies that actually sucked if you're going to title it "Lamest".
Like, To All a Good Night, Graduation Day, Bloody New Year, Valentine or even the April Fools Day Remake. Holy crap what a terrible movie.
While I appreciate the nod to Horror Movie A Day, I cannot condone the slamming of My Bloody Valentine!!! Valentine I'll give you, but MBV is far and away one of the best slashers of the period, and still holds up. I also dig Mother's Day and April Fool's Day (original)... the remake for AFD should be on here (and possibly number 1).
Never heard of Thanxgiving tho... gotta check that out :)
I think the original April Fool's Day worked. If it hadn't, I don't think they would've bothered with a remake.
LOLLL I knew Sat the 14th would be on here!
Yeah, this list is another "Here are all the similar-themed films I could remember!" exercise. To compare MOTHER'S DAY to I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE is to completely miss the twisted humor of the former and the genuine sociopathic pornography of the latter. APRIL FOOL'S DAY may have been a prnak of a movie, but it's an enjoyable one. I agree that HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME is not worthy of its reputation, but MY BLOODY VALENTINE isn't bad at all. As others have noted, you left out GRADUATION DAY, FINAL EXAM (which is centered around a single day), SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT (and numerous other X-Mas-themed turds), and countless direct-to-video stinkers. Worse, you chose not to include remakes, meaning that in your humble estimation, the BLACK CHRISTMAS remake is better than all of the films listed here, and the APRIL FOOL'S DAY remake is better than the original. A little research and a little perspective could make these lists MUCH better.
agree with the statements that prom night, mothers day, my bloody, and april fools do not belong on this list! Equinox belongs here- even though it is the original Evil Dead. The Gaint Claw belongs on this list- cause it's horribly awesome!
Remove Aprils Fool's Day (1986) from this list and replace it with the day Bloody-Disgusting pushed the "indie" horror movies off into that bastard red-headed stepchild section.
Equinox could be a day and or event. Getting the Munchies is an Event too. Murder Set pieces sucks so bad it should be on every bad horror movie list. People who have watched it should get a refun and a day off from work as compensation. The Gaint Claw- if it really happend would eventually become a memorial day, cause the Giant Claw would the biggest world disaster in the histroy of Worlds with Disasters.---------- Don't blame me man. I don't read the threads. I just post in them....
only seen april foods day out of the mix so i cant really judge on the other films but happy bday to me is i think in my line of netflix movies to rent. i liked april foods day 1980. the remake of it will prob suck.
well, considering who picked out the movies for this list, it is not that shocking. we all like different movies, I enjoyed quite a few of the movies on this list and own them. AFD, MBV, HBTM and Prom Night. Sorry, but no matter whom thinks these movies suck, they are truly classics compared to many of todays horror movies that BD boasts about being so good.....
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