Today we've posted BC's review of Uwe Boll's Postal, which hits limited theaters on May 23 (taking on INDIANA JONES). Living on Social Security and unemployed, DUDE desperately seeks employment, but instead finds a life of violent action and adventure when he teams up with his UNCLE DAVE, a financially strapped cult leader, in an effort to rip off an amusement park, only to find that the Taliban are trying the same heist simultaneously. Read on for the review.
There are a few things I have never understood. What happened to Crystal Pepsi or the Arch Deluxe, why Guns N’ Roses can’t just release "Chinese Democracy", and what the hell was going on at the end of Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan are particularly troublesome. But none of those holds a candle to my genuine confusion as to why Uwe Boll is so vehemently reviled by fans and critics. Even if you ignore his German films, which are entirely different (and far better) than his first “trilogy” of video game films (Bloodrayne, Alone in the Dark, and House of the Dead), it remains a mystery why he is so hated when A. his video game movies were no worse (or, to be fair, better) than any other video game movie like Super Mario Bros, Double Dragon, or Street Fighter, and B. those other movies were based on genuinely beloved games, unlike Boll's (come on, who the hell considers Bloodrayne to be a landmark game the way Super Mario is?)
Even ignoring the video game aspect, how are his films any worse than something like Captivity or Dark Ride? I’d watch Tara Reid try to pronounce "Newfoundland" a hundred times before subjecting myself to either one of those pieces of shit again. But yet, his detractors are always out in full force, even placing Bloodrayne in the IMDb bottom 100 before it was even released. And Bloodrayne, to anyone who bothered to watch it, would know that while it may have suffered from woozy casting and an occasionally nonsensical script, was at least professionally made from a technical standpoint. As of right now on the IMDb, there are less technical goofs listed for the film than there are for the Halloween remake. And let’s not forget: there are some people who would like nothing more than to point out Boll’s shortcomings if they could.
Well luckily for us, Boll has turned that negativity into a positive. The reaction to his films is just one of the many things in his new film, Postal (based on yet another (awful) video game), uses for a laugh. And while I am sure there will be a good number of folks who still hate the film (whether they see it or not), I am confident that anyone who approaches the film objectively will probably enjoy it quite a bit, so long as they are not easily offended.
Sort of like South Park meets Kentucky Fried Movie, Postal tells the tale of the Dude (Zach Ward) a trailer park resident whose life is falling apart. His wife cheats on him, he has no job, a would-be mugger hounds him at every turn, and basically, the entire world around him has fallen to shit (terrorism, religious hysteria, assholes on their cell phones at the coffee shop, etc). One day, he hatches a plan with his cousin, Uncle Dave (Dave Foley), to steal a truckload of high demand Furby-like dolls and then sell them for profit. Unfortunately, Osama Bin Laden (Larry Thomas, aka the Soup Nazi) and his minions have plans for the dolls themselves, as they plan to use them to unleash a terror attack. Needless to say, when the two groups meet, all hell breaks loose.
Unlike Boll’s previous three films, this one is INTENTIONALLY funny. It’s not horror or action like the others, but instead a genuine ZAZ-style kitchen sink comedy that manages to fun of pretty much everything, leaving no sacred cow un-tipped (the film’s lone Jew joke is worth the price of admission alone). In fact, even the game’s fans, assuming they exist for some reason, will see that the film is more or less faithful to the game. The Dude is just trying to go about his day; it’s everyone around him that’s an asshole. Eventually he snaps, and Ward does a great job carrying the film even as he turns into a borderline sociopath. The rest of the cast is good as well, save for the annoying character played by Chris Coppola, who is nowhere near as funny as he is supposed to be. But Ward, Foley, Thomas, and the supporting cast (including the great J.K. Simmons as a street preacher) are all in fine form, having a grand old time along with the rest of us.
The first 20 minutes of the film work best, as we open on a truly tasteless but funny United 93 parody. Then we meet the Dude, who is trying to get a job at some corporation run by the always great Rick Hoffman. After that, the laughs aren’t as frequent, but still come along at a mostly even clip. The film does suffer from some pacing issues, particularly near the end of the second act, as our team finds themselves locked in a bunker, resulting in one of the “good guys” turning traitor. The subplot drags, nothing that happens there is particularly funny, and it really only adds a complication to the finale that wasn’t really necessary. But then it picks up again without any real permanent damage. Like all films of its type, the jokes hit as often as they miss, though since so many different types of humor are on display here (slapstick, parody, dry, broad, etc), what’s unfunny to me may be the film’s highlight to someone else. Boll himself even gets a big laugh, poking fun at both the manner in which his films are funded, as well as how his films are viewed by the game’s creators.
Your enjoyment of the film is probably dependent on how easily offended you get. If the sight of George W. Bush (well, a lookalike anyway) amusing himself by using a toy plane to knock over two towers made of Legos is too much for you to handle, then maybe you should stick to According to Jim. Everyone else, prepare yourself for the shocking truth: Uwe Boll’s Postal is a damn fun film, and succeeds where everyone else has failed: it validates using a video game as the source material for a feature film.
Hahaha. Postal is gonna tank. I'm sorry, but Harrison Ford and Shia LaBeauf are definitely going to dominate in the new Indiana Jones movie. Uwe Boll's movies have all sucked so far. He is so full of himself. What a scumbag.
Hey uwe why don't you go die you nazi scumbag, maybe if you make decent movies maybe we'll listen.
The guy is a joke.
maybe I can make a movie called KILL UWE and in it we hunt him down ask him questions and kill him for real. yes I will be in jail and prob be killed myself but i will feel much better knowing I have saved at least 1 part of humanity.
Have to wait and see. He won't do better in the box office cuz everybody is in to these weak ass remakes that only bring over the hill joke of actors back to the light, f'n pathetic. Postal will be 10 times the flick indiana jones is, cuz it's all bout originality. The clip i saw of postal was hilarious. Hopefully the rest of the flick is like that. good luck Uwe boll.
I saw the trailer and thought to myself "Is Uwe Boll is directing a Troma movie?!?" Its pretty obvious that Boll is not serious. Hes a pretty funny guy and would probably do pretty well if he stuck to comedy. And to everyone who thinks hes really a nazi maybe you should do some research on him. He made several movies in Germany critizing how the German govt. ignores the growing neo-nazi movement over there. His character in Postal is SATIRE!!!!
Wow...what a load of dog sh*t...this person is either joking or a complete di*k tard, "crystal skull" may not be horror,but it will more than likely stomp out anything that week...too old or no,its fuc*ing indiana jones,man...
I admit, this movie looks like his best effort, might be the writer.
But I think were doing him no favors at this point by allowing him to promote his movie when he has shown that not only does his movies blow, but he as a person blows with all the excuses and throwing under the busses as to why they do suck.
And he is just an undeserving cocky bastard.
It's obvious he's being a smart ass in this article, if anyone thinks he's being serious, they are a TARD. BUT, you have to admit it's a smart move on his part to open against Indy. Why? Because when the movie tanks like all his others did, he'll be able to throw up his hands and say in defense, "my movie was competing against one of the most popular film series of all time! Why are you blaming ME for it's failure?". Makes perfect sense!
Uwe Boll, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter and George Bush need to go somewhere and play poker. Preferably somewhere we will never have to endure them again.
The whole thing is it doesn't matter what this dumb talentless bastard releases against. Hollywood could pull all their movies from all theaters and just have a Uwe Boll film out there to see, and it still wouldn't hit number one. The guy is a total fucking joke and everyone knows it. Nuff said.
Actually, we're not tards for thinking he is serious, because unfortunately he isn't joking. If he is idiotic enough to say his films are masterpieces, then he is certainly idiotic enough to say this.
WTF???? All of Uwe Bolls films have bombed at the box office most have gone straight to dvd. He is so full of himself he will never in a million lifetimes beat Spielberg at the cinema what a total arse he deserves a kick in the teeth and a slap for making diabolicaly bad films.
Found the link to this story over at http://infoaddict.com and had to run over here and comment about what an idiot Uwe Boll is! To even think that his movie would have a chance against Indy is sheer stupidity.
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There are a few things I have never understood. What happened to Crystal Pepsi or the Arch Deluxe, why Guns N’ Roses can’t just release "Chinese Democracy", and what the hell was going on at the end of Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan are particularly troublesome. But none of those holds a candle to my genuine confusion as to why Uwe Boll is so vehemently reviled by fans and critics. Even if you ignore his German films, which are entirely different (and far better) than his first “trilogy” of video game films (Bloodrayne, Alone in the Dark, and House of the Dead), it remains a mystery why he is so hated when A. his video game movies were no worse (or, to be fair, better) than any other video game movie like Super Mario Bros, Double Dragon, or Street Fighter, and B. those other movies were based on genuinely beloved games, unlike Boll's (come on, who the hell considers Bloodrayne to be a landmark game the way Super Mario is?)
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