We've all had that experience of watching a horror movie and yelling, "No, you idiot!" -or at least thinking it. Perhaps no other genre is populated by so many boneheaded characters, committing acts of colossal stupidity which usually lead to their own demise and/or the demise of others. Yet in a way, we should be thankful for these blundering clods. After all, it's only when the stuff hits the fan that the movie kicks into high gear. So here's to the most mind-boggling blunders ever witnessed in the annals of fright flicks...
Question: If you found the recorded diary of a scholar who had been destroyed by demons he accidentally summoned up by reading an ancient incantation, would you play back the tape of him reading it? Apparently this never occurred to Ash and company, who elbow each other and giggle while the gates of hell open up in the forest outside their cabin.
Perhaps there’s no stock horror movie character more infuriating than the cynical, shameless profiteer who blows everything to hell through his greed/pride. Take the mayor of Amity, for example, who sees fit to keep the beaches open for the holiday weekend despite repeated shark attacks. The result: instant smorgasbord!
I don’t care if there was a whole lovey-dovey scene right beforehand that was set up to make me feel sympathy for these two dolts. I can’t feel sorry for people who decide to drive off into a crowd of zombies in a truck covered in flaming gasoline. When they finally decide to jump ship, the broad gets her stupid jacket stuck in the door. No wonder they end up as barbecue.
In one of the most blatant acts of Eurocentric arrogance ever captured on film, archaeologist Steve Banning and his team scoff at the warning inscribed over the tomb of Kharis as they proceed to desecrate his resting place and incur his murderous wrath. Jeez, you’d think these guys had never seen a mummy movie. Oh wait, they’re in one.
With a new outbreak of the rage virus on the verge of exploding, the American peacekeeping forces come up with the bright idea of locking up the civilian population in a cramped little room with no light and no access to the outside. Once the raged-up Begby from Trainspotting shows up in their midst, it’s all over but the shouting…
5. What Part of “Do Not Feed After Midnight”… - Gremlins (1984)
It was a simple set of rules, really. Yet in the course of 90 minutes, the characters in this movie manage to accidentally break every one…repeatedly. Of course, the worst of these infractions leads to a town full of havoc-wreaking green cretins. Alright, so Stripe messed around with the alarm clock, but come on now, wasn’t anyone wearing a watch??
We all may love Ed—he’s perhaps the coolest buddy in buddy movie history. But which one of us wasn’t cringing when the well-meaning lug turned on that blaring arcade game in the Winchester, instantly turning the once-cozy pub into a scene of mass zombie mayhem?
When you think about it, the nuclear destruction of most of Kentucky could’ve been avoided if that idiot Frank hadn’t been such a show-off and decided to whack that canister to show off how “sturdy” it was, releasing the dreaded trioxin compound--and a very hungry Tarman.
Rarely had such rage been built up in my little nine-year-old body as it was watching the EPA’s most infamous agent order the NYPD to shut down the Ghostbuster’s ecto-containment unit. Everyone in the audience and in the movie knew better, except Mr. Peck, and before you knew it, the Big Apple was up to its stem in free-floating, full-torso, vaporous apparitions.
and finally, the top “Doh!” moment in horror movie history…
Yep, it’s the granddaddy of all horror screw-ups. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably given at least a little thought to how things might’ve played out if Dr. Frankenstein’s assistant had only managed to bring the right brain back to the lab. Why, the rest of the movie probably would’ve consisted of the doctor and his freakish creation playing backgammon and discussing Proust over a spot of tea. On second thought, maybe I’m kind of glad Fritz dropped that jar…
For more of my opinions on the world of horror, plus news and other interesting stuff, check out my daily blog, The Vault of Horror.
Love your website so this might seem dickish, but so many people loved 28 weeks later and hated rob zombies " Halloween"; just don't get it....28 weeks felt like more of a remake of 28 days than did Halloween.....just my opinion
Haha, great number 1, may I add Young Frankenstein to complete the "D'oh!"?
"Abby something."
"Abby something?"
"Yea, Abby Normal."
"You brought me an abnormal BRAIN!?!"
with all due respect i think you shouldn't make up these top 10 lists and talk about em as if they are facts of the movie world, these are strictly your opinions and when writing these columns you should speak for yourself. I won't even bother after your silly "Eurocentric arrogance" comment to take what u say seriously anyways
How did you get the impression the US Forces had anything to do with the people in the small shack in the opening to 28 Weeks? I'm pretty sure those were just random survivors that managed to hide in a small house in the middle of nowhere. BUT.. what we CAN take away from that scene is... kids cause nothing but trouble!
Well, because the US Forces did lock them up in the room. The small shack in the picture is just that, a picture. He is refering to when they character in said picture gets inside the room and infects a lot of people.
Secondly, these lists are nice. It is a different direction that can cause some great debates. If you don't like it, don't read it. Personally, I enjoy them.
Here we go with the "keep your oppinion to yourself" crap again. As long as this site is run by Mr. D, he really has the right to make up any list he wants. If he wanted to do the top 15 money shots in porn history, he could. And if you didn't like it, well you would just have to abstain from opening the article! I mean, if you really don't care for his oppinion, how hard is it to just not open it? If you wanted to say "hey jackass, remember (scene from a movie). That should be number one!" And everyone goes, "Right! I remember now." That's a little different than saying he needs to keep his oppinion to himself because nobody cares about it. Which is a moronic statement, because if you actually read other comments, you'd see that people actually do agree with him! As for the list itself, it's alright. Think you'd have to go as far as a top 20+ to get all of the best ones ;)
of course it's his right to make up these lists and they are fun to read regardless of if we all agree with what he says or not. Only thing i have an "issue" with is presenting them as absolutes instead of personal opinions. Other than that keep it coming
LOL fun stuff. Good list.
I would say that jacket that the mayor of Amity is wearing also has to be considered a major "doh" moment. Surely his wife wasn't home when he got dressed.
"Only thing i have an "issue" with is presenting them as absolutes instead of personal opinions."
Seriously? You have an issue with this list? Lighten up for the love of Legosi.
I agree about Frankenstein. Didn't the other brain even have a sign right in front of it that said it was a psychopath's brain or something along those lines? Great list.
QuothTheRaven i am sure you know grammar and you don't need me to point out when something sounds like a personal view or fact alright? Now respect my opinion which is not absolute either and move on
The list is funny.. But why isnt the scene in the Halloween (Remake) on there with the orderlies? They did everything short of beg for him to escape! There are alot of movies with dumb scenes.
Dark Asylum I think is the title.. After killing the entire police force and most of her friends, after finding a gun she is confronted by the killer he simply says "There aren't any bullets in that gun" she looks at the gun looks and him and throws the gun at him (and misses) totally hilarious
how about when nancy hugs her "father" in nightmare 3 and gets clawed in the stomac by freaddy she fell for his tick doh!
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