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The Top 10 Non-Zombies in Zombie Movie History
Friday, February 8, 2008


By: Brian Solomon
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With George Romero's fifth Dead flick on the horizon, it seems like everyone's got zombies on the brain more than ever. Just when we thought the sub-genre was buried six feet under, along comes Uncle George to remind us of where it all began. For a minute, it seemed like the obvious thing to do, list-wise, would be to count down the ten coolest zombies of all time. But no, that's a little too easy. Besides, if you really want something like that, you can just go here. No, I thought it might be more interesting to pay some much-needed attention to those other characters in zombie movies. You know, the ones the zombies are always trying to eat? Read on for the list.



There have been some truly unforgettable performances in flesh-eater flicks over the years, so it's about time we gave some credit to those wacky, oxygen-breathin', higher-brain functionin' humans. Of course, it's pretty tough to survive a zombie picture without eventually becoming one yourself, and a few of these folks did go on to join the ranks of the undead. But you get the idea...

The Top 10 Non-Zombies in Zombie Movie History







We salute you, Linnea Quigley. By stripping naked and dancing in a graveyard, you helped kick-start puberty for legions of young males in the 1980s. And all while looking and sounding like the girl who works the cash register at Hot Topic.

9. Murder Legendre - White Zombie (1932)



In addition to having the coolest name in horror movie history, Legendre—as played by the immortal Bela Lugosi—commands a virtual army of mindless walking dead. Granted, they’re more of the Haitian voodoo variety than modern-day gut-munchers, but I still wouldn’t mess with them.




Although the weakest of Romero’s series thus far, Land of the Dead did give us one of the director’s strongest characters. Loyal to the end to his buddy Riley, and a dead shot to boot, Charlie seems like the kind of guy I wouldn’t mind sitting down with for a beer or two. Now if only we could find a bar that was still open…

7. Father McGruder - Dead Alive (1992)



Many of us may aspire to it, but the venerable Fr. McGruder is the only man who kicks ass for the Lord. In a scene that answers the question, “What would a horror movie made by Monty Python look like?”, McGruder lays a holy smackdown upon a gang of undead hooligans. Unfortunately, he meets his demise, after which he goes on to sire the world’s first zombie baby. You rock, padre.




Proof that metrosexuality can thrive even in the face of human extinction, this latte-sipping douche nozzle is one character I’d love to have seen ground up and served to the undead in Turkish rolls with curly fries on the side. But I’ll settle for a bullet in the head from Sarah Polley. Thanks, love!




The quintessential horror movie a-hole, to whom all others owe a debt of gratitude. Is there any more satisfying moment than when Ben barges back into the cabin and slugs this lily-livered coward in his sweaty mush? Normally I’d feel sorry for a guy who gets his arm eaten by his own daughter, but not in this case.




Ah, Ed. If most of us had access to a computer that was kind of like the old holodeck on Star Trek: The Next Generation, in which you could program your ideal best buddy, this is the bloke who’d come walking out those swooshing doors after we pressed “ENTER”. Such a heartbreaker when Pete takes a chunk out of him, but at least Shaun didn’t let that get in the way of their friendship.




Speaking of horror movie a-holes, the one and only Capt. Rhodes takes a backset to no one in that department. In the role of the maniacal and sadistic military commander, Joe Pilato deserves credit for inspiring blind hatred in the hearts of countless splatter fans, who cheer in approval as a horde of ghouls plays tug-of-war with his pancreas.




If and when the undead apocalypse happens, this is the guy I want to have my back. Ken Foree plays the prototypical zombie epidemic survivalist, taking no quarter and practically securing an entire shopping mall on his own while Roger is hot-dogging and Flyboy is busy sipping champagne with his pregnant downer girlfriend.

and finally, the most memorable non-zombie in zombie movie history…




Is The Evil Dead a zombie movie? I guess not by the strict definition, but for some reason it’s always been included in the subgenre, and who am I to argue with tradition? I’ll leave that debate to those who argue whether or not Greedo shot first. I’d rather spend my precious time glorifying the single greatest example of manhood and heroism American cinema has ever produced. Hail to the king, baby!

For more of my opinions on the world of horror, plus news and other interesting stuff, check out my daily blog, The Vault of Horror.



Source: BD

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Read 45 User Comments
Ghost_of_Lugosi
4:18pm, February 8, 2008
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Where's Ben from Night of the Living Dead. And why is Ash listed? There is a difference between zombie flicks and demomic flicks. Sure the style is a like, but any horror fan knows the difference. And where's Michael played by Peter Bark from Burial Ground?

dariofulci
4:24pm, February 8, 2008
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Great list man! Land of the Dead is underrated.

TheGreaper773
4:37pm, February 8, 2008
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ahaha YES! Father McGruder! "I Kick A** for the lord!" such a great line oh man, rhodes had the best death scene EVER! ..getting shot by a zombie and then getting ripped in half? that was AMAZING!

crossbones
4:56pm, February 8, 2008
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Uh, Linea Quigley did tyrn into a zombie during the flick. You also shoulda included Ving Rhames in the list too. Land of the Dead the weakest of the series. I don't fuckin' think so.

killrobot
5:35pm, February 8, 2008
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Great list, obviously there are others who could have been included but everyone here is a quality choice. Charlie is one I never would have thought of but he def deserves a spot.

SuicideByScissor
5:40pm, February 8, 2008
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This list should have come out after Diary of the Dead just so Samuel could have made the list. Greatest character in a zombie film in years!

Mr. Fillet
6:00pm, February 8, 2008
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List must have been published before Planet Terror was released. How else could you overlook Cherry Darling and Dakota Block. LAND OF THE DEAD KICKS ASS by the way.

Zombie Hell
6:08pm, February 8, 2008
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I agree that Ash has no place on this list. He's an awesome character, but his movies aren't zombie movies. But great choices otherwise.

sethdlh
6:10pm, February 8, 2008
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evil dead didnt have zombie, so i'd take ash off the list. i think Suicide from return of the living dead was awesome. "you think this is a costume? its a way of life!"

Ron Ferrell
7:05pm, February 8, 2008
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I'd Pick Tom Savini as Deputy Tolo from Planet Terror as best non zombie.

eigzz44
2:50am, February 9, 2008
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I agree. Land of the Dead is very under rated. Despite the plot, Everything else about it was descent.

Devils Daughter
2:53am, February 9, 2008
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But Trash does turn into a zombie in the Return Of The Living Dead

jmacgrath
2:57am, February 9, 2008
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The fuck you got against Sarah Polley? She's a sweet ass actress/director.

Dawn of the Dave
6:19am, February 9, 2008
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Where the hell is Herbert West?

MATT PYTHON
11:42am, February 9, 2008
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Nice list. I would have rather seen CJ representing Dawn 04 as opposed to Steve but Ill work through it. Also, while Ash is cool and all I would have ranked him lower. That could just be because I think Bruce is completely overrated.

crossbones
2:54pm, February 9, 2008
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Oh yeah! You forgot Asia Argento's character from Land Of The Dead. For shame!

Un Chien Andalou
12:57am, February 10, 2008
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Why does everyone kepe saying "You forgot ______!" ot "Hey, wheres _______?" The list is only 10 people long! There isn't room for EVERYONE.

z0mBiE*rAmPaGe1
11:25am, February 10, 2008
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bruce campbell is the best hooror actor inthe world!!!.....i mean comeon the mans a LEGEND!!!!!!

OMNI
6:12am, February 12, 2008
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I love Evil Dead but its not a zombie flick, now Herbert West would be good on the list, maybe even Dan Cain from Re-Animator

kywomprat
9:52pm, February 12, 2008
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Francesco Dellamorte?? How can you forget cemetery man, that is possibly the best movie ever made.

ZombieHunter
11:10pm, February 12, 2008
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I think Evil Dead is worth talking about when were talking zombies. And Ash is the coolest horror hero imagined. I do however want to know where is Herbert West? chose charlie over herbert? hmm interesting

killer-on-the-run
12:51am, February 13, 2008
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A good list. Roger from the original Dawn was pretty cool to. To bad he got killed.

Pirateofthecrappybean666
11:25am, February 13, 2008
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The omission of Dellamorte is questionable. No doubt, Ed from Shaun I think should be higher. All these are good choices though. Also Land was pretty good.

cynsanity
3:09am, February 18, 2008
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West and Dellamorte would definitely be on my list, and although Ash is pure genius, the Evil Dead movies are not exactly zombie movies...

Maialideth
9:02am, February 25, 2008
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or what about Marion from Undead? the triple-shotgun is just awesome... and the scene where they're all either naked or wearing their underwear due to the acidrain, when he pops up two guns and gets asked the question "where did you keep those?" is absolutely hilarious.

CharlotteAntoinette
7:36am, February 27, 2008
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Bruce Campbell is the best - he deserves the number one spot, I mean he battled all those ugly demons/zombies for three films – when it came to Army Of Darkness, he was a legend and the coolest horror hero ever! I love Ed from Shaun Of The Dead, Shaun was brilliant too though. Again, speaking of movie a-holes, what about David from Shaun, he was a complete a-hole but at least he made us laugh!!! Also agreeing with Trash (ROTLD) and Peter (DOTD) – classic zombie film characters.

FabianTrioxin
9:09am, February 28, 2008
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I raise my boomstick proudly to you good sir. Well Earned.

jeda21
6:12pm, March 1, 2008
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Too bad you dissed Alice or Carlos from Resident Evil.

MonsterMasher
3:31pm, March 2, 2008
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Honorable mentions go to: Johnny (NOTLD), Julie (ROTLD3), Wolly (DAWN 1978), Selena (28 Days), and CJ (DAWN 2004).

Choke_on_Blades!
11:19am, March 7, 2008
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Father McGruder, Niice!!!! Ed, Niiicer!!!

coldblood
2:15pm, March 18, 2008
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Good list. But someone from 28 Days Later should have been in there. And what about that lady from Zombie who gets a wooden stake slowly jammed into her eyeball - she should get some props for most memorable kill or something. And Evil Dead is more towards the demon side of things as opposed to zombies but fuck it. Wait a minute...I just realized you guys forgot about Cemetary Man. You really do need to change this list. I think this shit needs to be put to a vote.

Cannibal Rapist
7:21pm, March 18, 2008
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Awesome list! I would've included Savini from Dawn of the Dead tho... "I see you!!....chocolate man."

gopha
7:05am, March 22, 2008
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Excellent choices. "Douche nozzle" ahahahaa

ItalianBeauty
7:20pm, March 27, 2008
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I thought this list emanates the truth! Ash is the man, whether or not you agree with this movie being on the list...very kool!

ally_darling
11:26am, March 28, 2008
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Sick list!!!! So funny! And number one...Could there ever really be anyone else??

aerollica
12:19pm, March 31, 2008
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Cool list...I agree with most of them although there should have been a space for Ving Rhames DOTD 04', his character scared the emotionless zombies. Bad Mofo. Also I'd have had cieran murphy from 28 days later on this list too. Im not sure if I agree with Ash (Bruce Campbell) being on this list. They were demons, NOT zombies, but then I suppose you gotta fit him on every list if possible, cos Evil Dead is awesome.

seldon03
10:17am, April 3, 2008
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Perhaps rethinking this list as the best non-zombie ZOMBIES in horror film history would be better. Characters like Cooper, Rhodes, Ed, Peter, etc., would count as they are flawed and problematic humans, often more dangerous than the zombies.

darkamor
8:59pm, April 4, 2008
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GREAT LIST - an excellent 11th addition to the list would be Val Lewton's [2nd horror film for RKO Pictures] I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE from 1943. Altough it is not a "zombie movie" in the common sense of the term, it is arguably more accurate [and sensitive] in depicting Caribbean culture / Voodoo rites and beliefs and holds up to Wes Craven's SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW rather well!! This film features the classic scene of a voodoo ritual; where a voodoo priest [known as the Sabreur (played by Jieno Moxzer)] wields a saber during a voodoo ceremeony with zombies; which also involves another voodoo priest [who we find out is the patriarch of the Island Mrs. Rand (played by Edith Barrett)]. ~(^)~

lord_kode
12:09am, April 5, 2008
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since people have said on here who should've been added, I'll put my two cents in, Lionel from Dead-Alive aka Braindead, I mean come on, he killed a room full of zombies with a lawnmower, causing a literal pool of blood everywhere

hope_burns
6:24pm, April 23, 2008
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Great list. I'm glad to find out that I wasn't the only one who liked Charlie from LOTD.

NesdunkisFunk
5:19pm, May 21, 2008
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wow.you um sort of forgot jim from 28 days later.haha he's my favorite.cillian murphy plays a great wuss.but i still digg this list.:]

skippy05
5:15pm, May 23, 2008
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Awesome list. I agree with two previous posters: Land of the Dead is underrated (just watched it again the other night), and CJ should have been here. From a complete asshat to a guy you feel sorry to see die, CJ was teh shit. Cholo would have been a good one for Land of the Dead, but you're right: no one tops Charlie. Good stuff.

johnnyjohn
6:53am, July 4, 2008
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I agree with CJ. His death was stupid. Its like the director wanted him to find redemption in self sacrifice but he could have totally escaped the truck. Other that that i loved the Dawn remake(better than any of G.R.s). i liked the charlie character although the movie blew ass. Fireworks as a distraction jesus christ shoot me.

IvyAlice
11:54am, July 20, 2008
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I'm desapointed for don't see Ben from night of the dead, it's my favorite char with Trash

cartza
1:53am, August 30, 2008
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Marion from Undead FTW! Should get an honourable mention at least


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