Horror in Your House
December 11, 2007
By: Tex Massacre
Bikini Bloodbath: Eclectic/Music Video Dist.
On their last day of high school seven gorgeous girls have slumber party to celebrate their going away to college. Across town, a maniacal chef goes on a killing spree. Can their gym coach come to the rescue of the bikini clad group? No, but when Chef Death shows up at the party, hilarity ensues and the blood bath begins.
Debbie Rochon makes her 8th or 9th or 10th appearance in a film this year (but who’s counting), Fans, keep in mind that the omnipresent Ms. Rochon will also be appearing in BIKINI BLOODBATH 2 and 3…surely coming soon!
Blood Descendents: CreepFX/Maverick
Fulfilling a deadly curse, Jacob Bradford rises from his grave and exacts bloody revenge against the descendants of the men who murdered him. As the murders become gruesome forensics officers scramble to make sense of their evidence and a murderer who seems to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Only one person has the power to stop the onslaught...but she doesn't even know it!
Evil Dead Trap 2: Unearthed
A killer is on the loose in Japan. Young women are being horribly mutilated. Aki, a young woman who works as a film projectionist, is haunted by a childlike ghost. Her girlfriend Emi is a TV news reporter covering the horrible mutilations. Emi introduces Aki to Kurahashi, a married man with a haunted past. Everyone involved has a dark secret and something evil is taking control of them. They are pawns in a game being played by forces beyond their understanding. This eerie descent into madness takes us on a journey into an abyss only the Japanese know how to create.
Footsteps: Unearthed
Andrew is in his early '20s; lost, his parents are dead and gone. He is left inconsolable. Afraid that those he loves, he loses, Andrew pushes all who care for him away until he is left alone. When a final bid to escape his nihilism brutally and tragically fails, he finds his life in a downward spiral as he becomes embroiled in the world of snuff movies. If he is to have any chance of redemption or salvation, he must walk down a path far darker than he ever dared fear and claw his way out.
Hack!: Allumination
Reality filmmaking can be murder. Just ask Vincent King and his wife Mary Shelley, two passionate horror fans determined to create the ultimate slasher movie with the unwitting help of a cast to die for. Led by deceptively bookish biology major Emily, a group of horny college students visits the Kings' remote island to study the local flora and fauna, unaware that they're about to end up on the cutting room floor - literally! - as they are gruesomely dispatched in the style of both classic and contemporary shockers. Who will survive the Kings' insane homage to horror?
Danica McKellar (THE WONDER YEARS) leads an all-strange cast that includes Juliet Landau (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER) William Forsythe (THE DEVIL’S REJECTS), Burt Young (ROCKY), Lochlyn Munro (TOOTH FAIRY) and Kane Hodder (HATCHET) with character names like Carpenter, Argento, Radley and Stoker!
Masters of Horror: The V Word: Anchor Bay
For two geeky best friends who’ve only experienced carnage via their video games, it’s the ultimate late night dare: Ever seen a real dead guy? But when the pair breaks into a creepy local mortuary, they unleash a ferocious ghoul who’s hungry to share a few depraved urges of his own. Even if these pals-for-life can resist a violent suburban blood-spree, is there any peer pressure more horrific than that of the undead?
The final disc of the woefully un-even season two arrives just in time for your favorite vampire holiday—Christmas!
Masters of Horror: Season 1, Volume 4 (IMPRINT, HOMECOMING, HAECKEL'S TALE, CHOCOLATE; Blu-ray): Anchor Bay
IMPRINT – This infamous episode directed by Takashi Miike (AUDITION) was considered so disturbing that cable television refused to broadcast it.
HOMECOMING – Joe Dante directs the season’s most provocative episode in which dead troops return from war to vote in the next Presidential election.
HAECKEL’S TALE – The erotic hungers of the undead come alive in this chilling shocker directed by John McNaughton.
CHOCOLATE – is director Mick Garris’ acclaimed tale of obsession, murder and psychosexual hunger.
7 Murders for Scotland Yard: Jef Films
Several murders have taken place in London. All the victims are prostitutes and the murderer is using the same techniques as Jack the Ripper. Peter Dockerman, an ex-acrobat and husband of one of the victims is the prime suspect. But whoever the killer is has cannibalistic tendencies and if Scotland Yard doesn't solve the murders quickly the evidence just might be eaten!
Silent Night, Deadly Night: Anchor Bay (TEX’S PICK OF THE WEEK)
Traumatized by his parents’ Christmas Eve rape and murder, little Billy Chapman is brutalized by sadistic orphanage nuns. When a grown-up Billy is forced to dress as jolly St. Nick, he goes on a yuletide rampage to punish the naughty. Santa Claus is coming to town…and this time he’s got an axe!
I like to think of this as the ultimate anti-holiday film. It’s hard to believe its so good considering how incredibly shitty all the sequels to it were!
Suffocation: Image
A cello case becomes an instrument of terror for a photographer convinced he murdered his cheating wife.
Tales of Terror from Tokyo Collection (4-disc Set): Tokyo Shock/Media Blasters
TALES OF TERROR 1 & 2 - While some stories may seem too fantastic to believe, many come from the most horrifying of sources The Truth! Step into places not meant for the living. Witness psychological horrors that rattle the nerves. All brought to spine-tingling life by Japan's up-and-coming masters of horror, including Takashi Shimizu and Norio Tsuruta. Can your fragile psyche withstand these twisted Tales of Terror?
TALES OF TERROR 3 - Just because the gates to the spirit world are usually kept shut does not mean that they cannot suddenly open, that the dead cannot reach out for your throat, that its denizens cannot prowl in abandoned office buildings, or haunt high school video projects. The dark realm is with you, and within you, its emotions calling to you in shades of horror, of fear, of terror. Writers Kihara Hirokatsu and Nakayama Ichiro have collected these Tales of Terror from accounts told to them as true all over Japan.
TALES OF TERROR 4 -When the spirit world crosses over into the real world, will you be perceptive enough to notice? Everyday, we encounter strange occurrences and unreal phenomena that either go unnoticed or get dismissed. But those that do notice are changed forever. Some begin questioning what is real, some are driven to madness.
THRESHOLD: Image
The Space Shuttle Oklahoma has just returned, and more than its crew is on board. Pierced by a meteor particle while repairing the Hubble telescope, one astronaut now carries the genetic seeds of extraterrestrial life. This rapidly-evolving insectoid form seeks out hosts for its next ravenous stage, and terror mounts as its numbers reach a terrifying Threshold!
Undead or Alive: Image
Death becomes them... In this unusual take on the Old West, an innocent cowboy, Luke with his reluctant new partner, Elmer fleece a crooked sheriff and attempt to disappear in the desert. Only Geronimo's smart and beautiful niece Sue can help them solve a mysterious Indian curse and escape from Sheriff Zombie's bloodthirsty posse. Will romance between Luke and Sue blossom or, will the undead permanently keep them apart?
SNL Alumi Chris Kattan stars with Feast veteran Navi Rawat in the latest (or is it first) zomedy-western! Directed by former South Park writer Glasgow Phillips
The Undertaker and His Pals: Cheezy Flick Entertainment
Funeral homes and greasy spoon diners what a combo plate! - An undertaker and his two friends, who are restaurant owners, drum up business by going out on the town and killing people. The restaurant owners use parts of the bodies for their menu, and the undertaker gets paid by the families to bury the leftovers. Their racket goes awry when two detectives suspect that something isn't quite kosher with the cooking.
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