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Whateverland The title says it all.... whatever. If it doesn't fit anywhere else post it here.

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Old 12-27-2012, 07:08 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by SeanBrown View Post
Man That's really not any fun at all, I apologize. For me though, it really helps me out with my anxiety.
I'm sure it helps people, but like with any drug... if prescribed to the wrong person, the effects can be catastrophic.
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Old 12-27-2012, 07:32 PM   #12
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A favorite song at any time, but so often when I'm blue and looking at the night sky like I was a few minutes ago

Benson Arizona by John Carpenter from his movie Dark Star

A million suns shine down
But I see only one
When I think I'm over you
I find I've just begun
The years move faster than the days
There's no warmth in the light
How I miss those desert skies
Your cool touch in the night

CHORUS:
Benson, Arizona, blew warm wind through your hair
My body flies the galaxy, my heart longs to be there
Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky
But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them, you and I

Now the years pull us apart
I'm young and now you're old
But you're still in my heart
And the memory won't grow cold
I dream of times and spaces
I left far behind
Where we spent our last few days
Benson's on my mind

(CHORUS)

I've never found a great audio copy, not sure if it was ever really recorded, but there's still so much depth and feeling to most versions I've heard.



Great movie too, but you can't just sit back and enjoy it, you got to turn your mind up to about 11 out of 10 and absorb it it.
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Old 12-27-2012, 08:48 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Hannibal Rex View Post
Mental illness has a stigma about it that prevents people from being open about their feelings, thoughts, and actions. People are afraid that others will view them as "crazy" or cast them out if they're honest about things of this nature.

I wanted to make a thread for people to discuss these things in a non-judgmental environment where they can "let it all hang out" without the fear of being made to feel like they're wrong for feeling the things they feel.

Believe it or not, a lot more people than you might think have mental issues/problems.

As for me...
Ever since I was young, I've felt detached from other people with a general sense of loathing for all people (including myself). Over the years, I've become quite good at assimilating (fitting in) but disguising an issue doesn't resolve it. I have problems controlling anger, depression, and self-harming impulses (cutting, burning, etc). I've been going to therapy for a few months now. It's something I probably should have been doing for a lot longer. It hasn't fixed me yet, but it's made me become more aware of my issues and given me ideas for how to deal with them.

Please, don't be afraid to be honest here...
I was destined to have a mental illness or a few before I was even born practically every female in my family has a mental illness. Although I didnt start to receive any type of treatment until I gave birth to my daughter. Although I should of received something much sooner.

I have regular depression/panic attacks and something called rage attacks. With my panic attacks I get dizzy, my heart pounds, I cannot breathe, I feel sick to my stomach I literally feel like Im going to die. And nothing triggers it I could be fine one minute and the next my heart is racing and Im gasping for breath.

With the rage attacks, they are strange I can be fine one minute (again) and the next something so minute can happen and I am so unbelievably mad I feel like I could come out of my skin. There is no middle ground for me with that so it's not like I can go to myself "Im getting a little mad I need to step out of the room" Im 0-60 in no time.

But for the most part except the panic attacks are controlled well with drugs and I dont find it a weakness if you have to take them either. Sometimes there is no other way to help the problem(s).
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Old 12-27-2012, 08:49 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by DeathbyIggy View Post
I'm sure it helps people, but like with any drug... if prescribed to the wrong person, the effects can be catastrophic.
Thats the chance you take with any drug, what works for one will not work for another. And people have to be aware of that.
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Old 12-27-2012, 11:20 PM   #15
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There have been plenty of times in my life where I have felt like i must have some sort of undiagnosed mental illness. At this point, I think I've narrowed it down to an emotional disorder. I don't think I experience emotion in the same way most people do. Situations that should give me intense emotions give me none. Things that shouldn't be a big deal weigh heavy on me. I can be all over the place in that sense. I never feel too crazy and I can handle it ok, it is just hard for me to relate to situations sometimes because of it.
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Old 12-27-2012, 11:24 PM   #16
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There's probably not one person on this planet that's 100% completely sane, IMO.

Everyone has their own issues...
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:03 AM   #17
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I once butchered an entire flock of sheep and bathed in their blood.
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:13 AM   #18
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I once butchered an entire flock of sheep and bathed in their blood.
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Old 12-28-2012, 07:29 AM   #19
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While I've never been officially diagnosed, I suspect that I might suffer from Aspergers syndome or at least something similar. It would definitely explain my social awkwardness, which seems to get worse as time passes. Sometimes I feel so withdrawn from the rest of the world and that I don't know how to function as a "normal" human being (whatever that means).
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Old 12-28-2012, 09:20 PM   #20
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I had a session this morning. It was a weird one. I had good things to report: not cutting in a few weeks, progress on quitting drinking, a pleasant holiday with my daughter, etc. However, I was visibly anxious and upset. My anxiety has been building for a few days and I've worked really hard not to use any of my harmful escapes. While discussing it, I felt like the room was spinning and I was watching it happen. I felt nervous and fidgetty but tried to stay as still as possible. He made a call to the medication specialist to have my appointment with her moved from mid-January to next week so that I could get started on medication sooner. We also discussed that I meet the criteria for having Borderline Personality Disorder (although not severe).

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeathbyIggy View Post
I'm sure it helps people, but like with any drug... if prescribed to the wrong person, the effects can be catastrophic.
Although I'm ready to give it a try, I'm a little worried about starting medication for that reason.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Enchantress View Post
I was destined to have a mental illness or a few before I was even born practically every female in my family has a mental illness. Although I didnt start to receive any type of treatment until I gave birth to my daughter. Although I should of received something much sooner.

I have regular depression/panic attacks and something called rage attacks. With my panic attacks I get dizzy, my heart pounds, I cannot breathe, I feel sick to my stomach I literally feel like Im going to die. And nothing triggers it I could be fine one minute and the next my heart is racing and Im gasping for breath.

With the rage attacks, they are strange I can be fine one minute (again) and the next something so minute can happen and I am so unbelievably mad I feel like I could come out of my skin. There is no middle ground for me with that so it's not like I can go to myself "Im getting a little mad I need to step out of the room" Im 0-60 in no time.

But for the most part except the panic attacks are controlled well with drugs and I dont find it a weakness if you have to take them either. Sometimes there is no other way to help the problem(s).
I have a tendency to blow up too. Sometimes, I can catch it before it happens and remove myself from the situation but sometimes I can't. It's always a roll of the dice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoggoth View Post
There have been plenty of times in my life where I have felt like i must have some sort of undiagnosed mental illness. At this point, I think I've narrowed it down to an emotional disorder. I don't think I experience emotion in the same way most people do. Situations that should give me intense emotions give me none. Things that shouldn't be a big deal weigh heavy on me. I can be all over the place in that sense. I never feel too crazy and I can handle it ok, it is just hard for me to relate to situations sometimes because of it.
I feel the same way sometimes. It's interesting how that emotional level can flip-flop between what should be worth getting upset over versus what isn't.

It makes me feel like this:


Quote:
Originally Posted by H.P. Pufncraft View Post
While I've never been officially diagnosed, I suspect that I might suffer from Aspergers syndome or at least something similar. It would definitely explain my social awkwardness, which seems to get worse as time passes. Sometimes I feel so withdrawn from the rest of the world and that I don't know how to function as a "normal" human being (whatever that means).
I hate the idea of "normal." I mean, what's really normal? Everybody's weird.
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