Mental Illnesses/Issues

[Hannibal Rex]

Mental illness has a stigma about it that prevents people from being open about their feelings, thoughts, and actions. People are afraid that others will view them as "crazy" or cast them out if they're honest about things of this nature.

I wanted to make a thread for people to discuss these things in a non-judgmental environment where they can "let it all hang out" without the fear of being made to feel like they're wrong for feeling the things they feel.

Believe it or not, a lot more people than you might think have mental issues/problems.

As for me...
Ever since I was young, I've felt detached from other people with a general sense of loathing for all people (including myself). Over the years, I've become quite good at assimilating (fitting in) but disguising an issue doesn't resolve it. I have problems controlling anger, depression, and self-harming impulses (cutting, burning, etc). I've been going to therapy for a few months now. It's something I probably should have been doing for a lot longer. It hasn't fixed me yet, but it's made me become more aware of my issues and given me ideas for how to deal with them.

Please, don't be afraid to be honest here...

[Willowfang]

Is this the right thread?

I think someone stole my air guitar, I can't find it anywhere. Please let me know if anyone sees it...

Seriously tho. I feel like I have the "opposite" problem, which then becomes a problem in and of itself.

I generally have no problem keeping my shit together, so much so that things that could drive others insane barely fuss me. I usually have a pretty fatalistic attitude to most everything around me.

I've ranted here on BD a few times, even all but lost my shit early on, but I'm also pretty even tempered, only using "hot words" for effect like in the shooting thread really.

The bad side of this is it makes me feel even more alone sometimes, so when I am down, no one takes my "blues" seriously, or come to me first to cry on my shoulder so I can't very well cry on anyone else's so to speak.

[Hannibal Rex]

Originally Posted by Willowfang

Is this the right thread?

I think someone stole my air guitar, I can't find it anywhere. Please let me know if anyone sees it...

Seriously tho. I feel like I have the "opposite" problem, which then becomes a problem in and of itself.

I generally have no problem keeping my shit together, so much so that things that could drive others insane barely fuss me. I usually have a pretty fatalistic attitude to most everything around me.

I've ranted here on BD a few times, even all but lost my shit early on, but I'm also pretty even tempered, only using "hot words" for effect like in the shooting thread really.

The bad side of this is it makes me feel even more alone sometimes, so when I am down, no one takes my "blues" seriously, or come to me first to cry on my shoulder so I can't very well cry on anyone else's so to speak.

No matter who you are, everyone needs someone else to listen. That's why I started this thread. Sometimes it can be really hard to open up and let your problems spill out. But, as I've discovered, talking about your problems makes me feel better about them.

For example: Right now, I'm sitting on my couch alone in my house. For the past couple days I've been suppressing the urge to self-harm. There's no trigger or reason why I feel this way. In all actuality, I should be happy because my daughter has been visiting for the holiday. Still, I have the urge to do something to hurt myself or (at least) make me feel numb (sometimes these two things cross over and are one in the same). It just is what it is.

I think a lot of you, dude. And I want to say that I'll always be here for you to vent to, but I know that's unrealistic because there are times when you'll need someone to listen and I (or someone else) won't be available. Again, that's why I started this thread.

How about your wife? Have you talked to her about this stuff and does she understand?

[DeathbyIggy]

This is an issue very close to my heart. I was diagnosed with a mild type of Schizophrenia at the age of 12. I had a very rough life growing up and it continues to some extent today. I take more medications than i can even keep up with, just so that i can live a "normal" life. I've been baker-acted several times and so i'm quite familiar with Psychiatric Wards.

I do get treated differently by people who know my diagnosis, so i try to hide it as much as possible. I consider myself a good person, who's just been dealt a rough hand in life. I try to go on with life in a normal fashion and treat others the way i would like to be treated. It's not easy, and i do have my moments of craziness, but by the grace of god, i make it through. I used to be ashamed of my illness, but no more. Why should i be ashamed of something i had no control over aquiring as a young child? If people can't deal with it... that's their problem for being ignorant.

Stewie, i don't know you much bro, but hearing about your condition makes me feel closer to you than most any other member here at Bloody-Disgusting. I offer my unconditional friendship to you, and overall, just someone you can chat with when you're feeling down in the dumps. You're not alone, and you certainly don't have to feel that way. Please try not to hurt yourself.... others care about you and if you feel like no one understands, you're wrong... i for one understand and am here to lend an ear, whenever need be.

[Willowfang]

Originally Posted by Hannibal Rex

For example: Right now, I'm sitting on my couch alone in my house. For the past couple days I've been suppressing the urge to self-harm. There's no trigger or reason why I feel this way. In all actuality, I should be happy because my daughter has been visiting for the holiday. Still, I have the urge to do something to hurt myself or (at least) make me feel numb (sometimes these two things cross over and are one in the same). It just is what it is.

Never been a cutter or anything myself, but when I am in (physical) pain, I can often pretty much ignore the painfulness part of it an and instead sort of enjoy it. I wouldn't say I'm a masochist exactly, but even as it debilitates me cause it is hard to motivate myself to do anything when in pain, as I'm sure is true for most people, I'm able to instead be entertained by it in a way.

I think a lot of you, dude. And I want to say that I'll always be here for you to vent to, but I know that's unrealistic because there are times when you'll need someone to listen and I (or someone else) won't be available. Again, that's why I started this thread.

Thanks, always nice to heard that sort of thing now and then.

How about your wife? Have you talked to her about this stuff and does she understand?

Yeah, she does. We had much the same childhood, tho my dad is far more evil than anyone one person in her family, she got it from all sides and her total fucked up childhood I think was a bit worse than mine.

As for talking, I've been able too, but now that I'm asked pointedly, I think I just don't share that much about this sort of thing.

I had one fucked up psychologist try to tell me physical and verbal abuse were "love languages" rather than deal with what a piece of shit my father is. I'd already I.D.'d the guy as a fucking idiot, but that was the last straw, never went to see him after that.

But yeah, I'm certain she'd understand anything I had to say. I ought to share with her when I'm down, but feels kinda weird thinking I'd actually do it.

[SeanBrown]

I've been living as a manic depressant for alot of my life, and I'm 18 now. much like Rex, I absolutely cannot stand myself or the people around me. I see a counsulor every Friday, but I don't really feel like he's helping me much. I used to have to take 60mg of prozac, but that stopped working so now I'm on a new medicine with my Abilify and sleeping pill. It's hard.

[DeathbyIggy]

Originally Posted by SeanBrown

now I'm on a new medicine with my Abilify and sleeping pill. It's hard.

Abilify was some scary shit for me. It was prescribed for me once and while i was taking it, i wasn't eating much, i was overly paranoid (more than usual), very aggresive with others and near the end of taking it, i started to hear voices. Abilify is supposed to help you NOT hear voices, but with me it just did the complete opposite. My therapist did the wrong thing by taking me off of it cold turkey, instead of doing it little by little.... that same night they took me off it, i put my head through a concrete wall. I'm glad i'm off of it...i've never been so mentally lost in my life.

[The Revelator]

I've suffered from depersonalization for almost 3 years now.

Basically its the sense of not feeling in control of yourself or feeling like you're watching yourself doing things vs actually doing them. Well, that's the best way to describe it at least. It doesn't make me dysfunctional, it just makes me feel like I'm dreaming all of the time. After the first 3 or 4 months I got used to it. Those first months are a horrid experience.

[Mr. Bill]

I'm an agoraphobic with OCD

[Hannibal Rex]

Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories in this thread. I used to try to deny that whatever is wrong with me was an actual illness (I'd been told most of my life to "suck it up" or "snap out of it"), but I've come to grips with it now, and it's time to start making positive changes.

Originally Posted by DeathbyIggy

Stewie, i don't know you much bro, but hearing about your condition makes me feel closer to you than most any other member here at Bloody-Disgusting. I offer my unconditional friendship to you, and overall, just someone you can chat with when you're feeling down in the dumps. You're not alone, and you certainly don't have to feel that way. Please try not to hurt yourself.... others care about you and if you feel like no one understands, you're wrong... i for one understand and am here to lend an ear, whenever need be.

Thanks, man. I appreciate the sentiment.

Originally Posted by Willowfang

Never been a cutter or anything myself, but when I am in (physical) pain, I can often pretty much ignore the painfulness part of it an and instead sort of enjoy it. I wouldn't say I'm a masochist exactly, but even as it debilitates me cause it is hard to motivate myself to do anything when in pain, as I'm sure is true for most people, I'm able to instead be entertained by it in a way.

I wouldn't call myself a masochist either... not a full-blown masochist anyway. Although, I do enjoy pain when I inflict it upon myself. I think that some of that comes from the control I have in those situations. It's been a couple weeks since I've cut myself, but I still have the urge. But you're right. Something about physical pain distracts from any mental stress someone might be going through.