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Old 11-05-2013, 07:17 PM   #155
Willowfang
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Willowfang is half Thundercat on his childhood's side
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
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Kinda picturing Gordon Ramsey 1st asking the writer:

"Okay, so what have you done here?"

And then you describe what you were going for, what you were trying to convey. The Readability sorta goes out the window, but doesn't really lose it's importance if you want to come across well in the other two areas we've been grading on.

Then you describe the concept you were trying to put together, same as before, but telling what you hoped to "score".

And then Atmosphere, you tell what mood you were hoping to achieve.

We wouldn't have the scoring we did before, but with the critiques from others, we'd get an idea of how successful we were in our aims.

So for me:

=====

This story is about Jason Vorhees after the zombie apocalypse has hit, he's culling his home of Crystal Lake of irresponsible adults as always. When people stop showing up, he goes looking for why. He comes across the Mall from Dawn Of the Dead and then decides to "go take Manhattan"

The concept here is presenting how the mind of a child reacts and views the zombies in much the same way he sees irresponsible adults.

There's not a lot of overt dread here really, just the story of Jason applying his same rules to the zombie overrun world.
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I met her, fifteen years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding; and not even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this cow, with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach her, and then another seven trying to keep her locked up because I realized that what was living behind that cow's eyes was purely and simply... evil.
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