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Old 03-21-2013, 01:14 PM   #109
DudeClassicMan
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Originally Posted by nancylives! View Post
are you kidding? he was about the only thing decent the jets have gotten a whiff of since superbowl III (i know, rexie took em to back to back afc championship games, but there is a long time between superbowl III and that). for a few years under parcell's, the jets were compelling, and there were moments in the game against denver that the jets could have turned it their way. and the cowboys, jesus, where would we be without him? no division titles and 3-13 losers with no hope of spitting distance of 8-8. i mean, it's a testament to how good he was in dallas that six years later, the cowboys are still coasting on his fumes. and dolphin fans, what do y'all have to show for anything other than parcell's time there, which netted y'all a division title and some competitive moments?

now, i'm not saying the man is infallible, nor am i saying he is still as good a coach as when he had a supreme asshole like phil simms or coked-up, all-world maniac like lawrence taylor. i'm just saying that parcell's has improved every team he has touched from what it was before he got there, and, in some instances, cleared out the jars with mold on top and left some fresh veggies behind. he's a classic coaching asshole with a good front office mind. i agree that he sometimes relies on older, familiar castoffs, and, y'know, sometimes that works (otis anderson in '90, testaverde in '97, bledsoe for the first half of 2005) and sometimes it don't (testaverde '04, bledsoe '06, eddie george '05). he didn't take jerry's bullshit, i'll tell you that, and for a minute, we were almost a professional organization.
You hardly ever see any “fuck Bill and his antiquated notions” sentiment going around so I feel it is my duty to provide that counterbalance. First and foremost, Parcells did very little good drafting for the Cowboys and was responsible for a lot of setbacks.


1. While it’s true Parcells actually coaxed Jerry into drafting several O-lineman with real draft picks during his stint, hardly any of them ever did shit for the Cowboys.

2. Parcells passed on Stephen Jackson in favor of Julius Jones and an extra draft pick; that pick would become Marcus Spears. Model employee or not, model citizen, pillar of the community; they fucking picked a defensive lineman who only has 10 more career sacks than me or you, Nancy.

3. Everything I’ve ever heard on the subject suggests Parcells wanted Spears before Ware while Ware was Jerry’s pet cat. So I guess if you accept Bill might have won that war room cootfight (in the scenario that they don’t have the extra pick from trading down in the ’04 Draft) the only saving grace of not getting Stephen Jackson is that if the Cowboys don’t have the extra draft pick in ‘05 they likely miss out on Ware because Bill gets his way. That’s right, Bill almost passed on the next LT; because Ware would’ve definitely been off their board by the time their other 1st round pick came up.

4. However they still fucked themselves royally when you realize they drafted Spears instead of Aaron Rodgers.

5. That pussy Bobby Carpenter was a worthless bust that didn’t even fit the 3-4 that Parcells only really drafted because his daddy played fullback on Parcells’ Giants squads.

6. In that same draft, Parcells also drafted a tight end in the 2nd round even though they already had 24 year-old Jason Witten. What fucking good is an extra tight end that only plays half your offensive snaps?

7. 5+6=vanity “Parcells guys” picks that were worthless.

Now Bill had to put up with some of Jerry’s shit. T.O. was certainly forced upon him. But then again T.O. wasn’t a washed up cancer who qualified as “diminishing returns” until ’08. In fact, there’s a very real case that without T.O. (dominant in ’07) to feed Romo’s career doesn’t get kickstarted the way it did. Keyshawn was never a pimple on T.O.’s ass; that’s for damned sure.

Finally, there’ s something to be said for finishing what you started; something Parcells didn’t do in three out of his four coaching stops. That’s not even counting the Dolphins who he never actually coached for and who had to know his modus operandi all too well by then.

As for the Cowboys coasting on his fumes, how so? Romo and Austin were fluke finds via Sean Payton and Garrett’s daddy. Now if you’re talking about the 3-4, the Cowboys blew through three separate versions of it and never figured out how to properly draft front seven (particularly the defensive line) to run it. Now they’re back to square one re-installing the 4-3. By the way, in Parcells' 1st season, they ran a 4-3 and 1st in overall defense and 2nd in points allowed. I guess "If it ain't broke, fuck you, I'm Bill Parcells and the 3-4 is my baby!"
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