Connect with us

Movies

A ‘Thirst’ For Redemption: 12 Movies They Won’t Show You At Bible Camp!

Published

on

To go along with the exclusive clip we just posted, Bloody-Disgusting’s Ryan Daley has compiled a very special list in honor of Focus Features’ forthcoming Thirst, which arrives in theaters July 31. A huge subplot of Park Chan-wook’s film is the conflict between faith and sin. So we decided to throw together a list that we like to call “A ‘Thirst’ For Redemption: 12 Movies They Won’t Show You At Bible Camp!” Read on and then say 10 Hail Marys.

A ‘Thirst’ For Redemption: 12 Movies They Won’t Show You At Bible Camp!

Dont forget to also check out:
The Top 20 Horror Science-Fiction Films of All Time
The Top 13 Slashers in Horror Movie History
The Top 13 Kills in Horror Movie History!
The Top 10 Obscure Horror Gems For Halloween
The Top 10 Made-for-TV Horror Movies of All-Time
The Top 10 Horror Comic Adaptation
The Top 10 Worst Horror Director Collapses!
The Top 10 ‘True-Story’ Horror Movies of All-time!
The Top 10 Hottest Vampire Babes of All-Time
The Top 10 Most Unusual Zombie Occupations
The 10 Lamest Days of Horror the World Has Ever Known
The 10 Stupidest Motives In Slasher Movie History!
The Top 10 Most Batsh*t Crazy Horror Movie Doctors
The Top 10 Worst Things That Could’ve Been in Brundle’s Machine… Besides a Fly
The Top 10 Best Horror Remakes of All-Time
Top 10 “Doh” Moments in Horror History
15 Reasons FOR Remaking A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
The Top 10 Reasons Why Bela Lugosi Still Rules
Top 10 Non-Zombies in a Zombie Film

In Thirst, the new horror film from highly acclaimed director Chan-Wook Park (Oldboy, Lady Vengeance), a well-respected priest is inadvertently transfused with vampire blood while volunteering for a vaccine development project. Suddenly cursed with an insatiable appetite for human blood, the clergyman is torn between faith and desire. His unwavering belief in God forbids him to kill, even as his instinctive need for the red stuff grows stronger and stronger. Thirst opens in selected cities on July 31st.

Like Thirst, many past horror films have explored the ages-old conflict between faith and sin, some with lessons of dubious spiritual worth lurking in the subtext. What follows is not a definitive list of the hundreds of films that explore similar pseudo-religious themes, but simply a flesh baker’s dozen of beloved horror films you’re not likely to find in God’s Blu-Ray collection.

THICK MEATY SPOILER ALERT!!! Major plot points are discussed below.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)


It’s like a wire inside me getting tighter and tighter.“-Rosemary Woodhouse

After being slipped a roofie by her Satan-worshipping neighbors, young Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow) is date-raped by Lucifer. She chooses to carry his evil spawn to full term, only to be understandably horrified when her baby is born with glow-in-the-dark devil eyes.

Moral: Only party with people you trust.

The Exorcist (1973)


Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, Karras, you faithless slime.“-Regan MacNeil, as possessed by Pazuzu

The ancient demon Pazuzu spews outrageous blasphemy, yaks soup onto nearby clergy, masturbates with sharp-looking holy relics, and airplane spins visiting neighbors out of upper floor windows, all while possessing the body of helpless 12-year-old Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair).

Moral: When provoked, evil spirits aren’t above resorting to “yo’ mama“insults.

The Omen (1976)


You’ll see me in hell, Mr. Thorn. There we will share out our sentence.“-Father Brennan

Plagued by a sudden baby shortage after his wife’s stillbirth, diplomat Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck) secretly obtains a black market infant from a mysterious priest slinging babies in the hospital hallway. Thorn eventually discovers that the adopted boy hates church, attracts dangerous dog breeds, is always accompanied by eerie music, and inspires others to commit suicide, all of which are textbook signs of the anti-Christ. Daddy Thorn eventually attempts to execute the youngster with a dull-looking ritual dagger.

Moral: Stay away from jackals. Jackals are Satan’s booty calls.

Carrie (1976)


And the Lord visited Eve with the curse, and the curse was the curse of blood!“-Margaret White (Piper Laurie)

Religious fanatic Margaret White is alarmed when her daughter Carrie finally gets her period at age 16. After Mrs. White delivers a bible-thumping lecture lamenting her daughter’s “dirty pillows“and the dangers of consensual sex, an enraged Carrie is compelled to burn down the high school on the night of the prom, with all of the students still inside.

Moral: Girls who don’t get their period until age 16 are highly likely to commit acts of mass murder.

Angel Heart (1987)


No matter how cleverly you sneak up on a mirror, your reflection always looks you straight in the eye.” Louis Cyphre

Rumpled private detective Harry Angel is hired by a Luciferian Robert DeNiro to locate a missing singer who has bartered away his soul. Along the way, Harry eagerly spends his spare time boning voodoo enthusiast Lisa Bonet, who introduces chicken blood and intense African chanting to their love making routine.

Moral: Satan likes eggs.

Hellraiser (1987)


The Cenobites gave me an experience beyond limits… pain and pleasure, indivisible.” Frank Cotton

As a reward for solving a complex puzzle box, everyman Frank Cotton is whisked away to hell to be tortured for all eternity by the malicious Cenobites. Luckily he manages the occasional escape back to our dimension, lacking skin, to request blood offerings from any willing ex-girlfriends.

Moral: Hell isn’t such a bad place as long as you’re into the whole S&M scene.

The Prophecy (1995)


I can lay you out and fill your mouth with your mother’s feces, or we can talk.” Lucifer (Viggo Mortensen)

Disgusted with God for allowing lowly humans into heaven, Gabriel the sort-of-dickish angel of death, recently fallen from God’s grace, begins a sarcastic reign of destruction on earth. Gabe intends to locate the most evil human in the world, and recruit him into a celestial cage match against God. An innocent little girl is later used for soul storage.

Moral: Fallen angels and charismatic Lucifers are way cooler than good guys.

Seven (1995)


We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it’s common, it’s trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I’m setting the example.“-John Doe (Kevin Spacey)

Nihilist wackjob John Doe–in an attempt to partially cleanse the earth of sinners–gruesomely murders a half dozen innocents after deeming each of them guilty of violating one of the seven deadly sins. He caps his divinely inspired murder spree by decapitating a police detective’s pregnant wife.

Moral: If you’re using pine tree air fresheners to mask the stench of a decaying body, you’re not required to release them from the plastic an inch-at-a-time.

Event Horizon (1997)


Hell is only a word. The reality is much, much worse.“-Dr. Weir (Sam Neill)

After enduring a lengthy detour through the bowels of hell, an empty spaceship finds a dimensional gateway back to our solar system. Exploring the interior of the haunted vessel, a small crew led by Lawrence Fishburne is killed one-by-one by a unseen presence of unflinching evil. The final reel carnage is highlighted by disturbing visual depictions of hell itself, complete with barbed wire, metal hooks, and other unspeakable means of cruelty and suffering.

Moral: If Satan puts you in a trance and makes you wander out into space wearing only jeans and a flannel shirt, it’s in your best interest to snap out of it before the first air lock is secure.

The Devil’s Advocate (1997)


Guilt is like a bag of fuckin’ bricks. All ya gotta do is set it down.“-John Milton (a.k.a. Satan)

Young Southern lawyer Keanu Reeves is recruited by Satan (Al Pacino) to work at a prestigious law firm in the big city. Keanu embraces the task of aiding murderers and child molesters with such vigor, he neglects to notice when Satan rapes his wife behind his back. Later, Satan pushes his personal incest agenda by tempting Keanu into having a sweaty go at his own hot, topless sister.

Moral: If Satan says your wife is a “7“in bed, she probably is.

Frailty (2002)


Killing people is wrong, destroying demons is good. Don’t worry, God will send you your own list when you’re older.“-Dad Meiks

Doting father Bill Paxton schools his young-`uns on the proper way to abduct and murder those folks who have a demon inside of them, working from a secret master list delivered by an angel. To Paxton’s unbridled joy and paternal affection, one of his two sons embraces the murder routine, while the son who actually respects human life is treated like a complete pussy.

Moral: Your daddy ain’t never gonna love you if you cain’t kill folks like he says.

Martyrs (2008)


You lock someone in a dark room. They begin to suffer. You feed that suffering, methodically, systematically, and coldly. And make it last.

B.F.F.s Ana and Lucia stumble onto a cult of religious fanatics who believe that some women–if tortured severely enough–will experience pain of such depth and intensity that they literally see the face of God. The final “transcendence” is apparently more likely to occur if the woman is skinned alive and chained to a metal bar.

Moral: If you really want God to pay attention to your prayers, you’re gonna need a tater peeler, some rubbing alchohol, and a couple of Lortab.

THIRST arrives in theaters July 31 from Focus Features

Advertisement
Click to comment

Movies

‘Final Destination: Bloodlines’ Adds “Chucky” Actor Teo Briones and More to Lead Cast

Published

on

Chucky Actor Teo Briones
Pictured: Teo Briones in "Chucky" Season Two

The Final Destination franchise is returning to life with Final Destination: Bloodlines. With filming now underway, THR reports that three actors have joined the lead cast, including “Chucky” actor Teo Briones.

Brec Bassinger (“Stargirl”) and Kaitlyn Santa Juana (The Friendship Game) join Teo Briones, who played Junior Wheeler in season two of “Chucky,” as the leads in the sixth installment of the horror franchise.

Zach Lipovsky and Adam B. Stein (Freaks) are directing the fresh installment that also includes Richard Harmon (“The 100”, Grave Encounters 2), Anna Lore, Owen Patrick Joyner, Max Lloyd-Jones (The Book Of Boba Fett), Rya Kihlstedt (Obi Wan Kenobi), and Tinpo Lee (The Manor) among the cast.

Production is now underway in Vancouver.

What can we expect from the upcoming Final Destination 6? Speaking with Collider, franchise creator Jeffrey Reddick offered up an intriguing (and mysterious) tease last year.

“This film dives into the film in such a unique way that it attacks it from a different angle so you don’t feel like, ‘Oh, there’s an amazing setup and then there’s gonna be one wrinkle that can potentially save you all that you have to kind of make a moral choice about or do to solve it.’ There’s an expansion of the universe that – I’m being so careful,” Reddick teased.

Reddick continued, “It kind of unearths a whole deep layer to the story that kind of, yes, makes it really, really interesting.”

Final Destination: Bloodlines is written by Lori Evans Taylor (“Wicked Wicked Games”) and Guy Busick (Scream), with Jon Watts (Spider-Man: No Way Home) producing.

Producers on the new movie for New Line Cinema also include Dianne McGunigle (Cop Car) as well as Final Destination producers Craig Perry and Sheila Hanahan Taylor.

This will be the sixth installment in the hit franchise, and the first in over ten years. Each film centers on “Death” hunting down young friends who survive a mass casualty event.

The latest entry is expected in 2025, coinciding with the original film’s 25th anniversary.

 

Continue Reading