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Best & Worst of 2009: The Year’s Best One Sheets

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Before any footage from a film is seen, typically a teaser or full one sheet is released by a studio. This is an incredibly important, even detrimental process as it is the first thing the consumers will see and identify with a movie. If the poster stinks, the consumer might write it off all together, while a good poster could lead to them checking out the official website, trailer and best case scenario, hanging it from their wall (the most personal relationship any of us have with a movie). To say the least, posters are damn important. As part of our year end coverage, we present to you the year’s best theatrical posters.

BEST ONE SHEETS OF 2009

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Posters listed in no particular order

Frozen (Anchor Bay)


Carrying inspiration from other top-notch one sheets like Open Water, the poster for Frozen is remarkably eye-catching. Anyone who catches a glimpse of this in a theater is sure to walk over and ponder on it for a second. It’s also quite representational of the flick and is sure to get people marking their calendars for the February release.

The Crazies (Overture)


A breath of fresh air from the previous one sheet that was incredibly confusing. The imagery is frightening, and more importantly, the tagline is awesome. “Fear Thy Neighbor.” Bing, bang, boom.

The Stepfather (Sony Screen Gems)(


I’m not a very big fan of Screen Gems’ posters where they render an image to look like a painting, but for some reason I think the one sheet for STEPFATHER works. It’s eye-catching, simple and actually a little unnerving. Too bad the movie wasn’t half as entertaining as the poster.

My Bloody Valentine (Lionsgate)


I loved Lionsgate’s one sheet for their remake of MY BLOODY VALENTINE. Outside of us hardcore horror fans, the average theatergoer has no clue who the killer is. The poster gives us a clear look at the slasher while also highlighting the 3-D aspect by creating two other slightly transparent versions. Good stuff.

Halloween II (Dimension Films)


After Dimension’s nauseating one sheet for the remake, Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN II was blessed with this violent and chaotic masterpiece of wall art. Like the movie or not, the marketing was well done – too bad it had to go up against THE FINAL DESTINATION, a film that delivered a brutal blow at the box office.

Friday the 13th (Warner Bros. Pictures)


Whether it’s by name or image, everyone knows who Jason Voorhees is, therefore there’s no reason to keep him in the shadows. Warner Bros. released this stunning one sheet for the FRIDAY THE 13TH remake that features a full shot of the infamous masked killer in all of his powerful glory. Whether that translated to film is up to you to decide.

The Wolfman (Universal Pictures)


With the movie looking to finally hit theaters in February, Universal Pictures released this gorgeous blue-tinted poster for THE WOLFMAN. Again, who doesn’t know the Wolfman? So why not let him tear it up in this action-packed one sheet that has serious bite.

Clash of the Titans (Warner Bros. Pictures)


To our surprise this has been one of the most popular and well-received poster debuts here on Bloody Disgusting. While CLASH OF THE TITANS is a fantasy film, there are some horrific elements like the three blind witches, the Kraken, and of course that sexy snake-headed Medusa. This one sheet screams for your attention. It’s bold, strong imagery is captivating and the color scheme blends beautifully with our hero. Aces.

Drag Me to Hell (Universal Pictures)


With a film titled DRAG ME TO HELL it doesn’t hurt to display exactly what the film is about on your poster. I enjoy Universal’s choice in drowning out the background images and bringing our star to the forefront with the fire and brimstone. And for those of you who read the little tagline… how can you beat, “But in three days, she’s going to hell”?

The Haunting in Connecticut (Lionsgate)


A terrible, terrible film that features probably the single best one sheet of the year. Too bad you could only see it at the comfort of your home on your computer screen. Lionsgate released this “motion poster” that’s one of the first to actually do something. Vomiting ectoplasm? Yes please.

Saw VI (Lionsgate)


When I first saw the poster for SAW VI at the San Diego Comic Con, it blew my mind. The imagery is striking, eye-catching and bold. How incredibly arrogant is it (have to appreciate it) to feature a giant VI without even a single mention of the title. It quite simply says, “you know it, you got it, here’s it comes.”

Jennifer’s Body (20th Century Fox)


Megan Fox’s long legs and a school shirt=WIN.

Daybreakers


Again, not a fan of artistic renderings, but the color scheme and creepy image are beyond eye-catching. This poster calls for your attention and begs you to come over and spend a few seconds seeing what it’s all about.

Antichrist (IFC Films)


There’s nothing better than a poster that tells you exactly what you’re going to see in theaters. IFC’s one sheet for ANTICHRIST says “sex in a creepy place, over and over again.” Don’t be shocked when you see a bloody penis.

The House of the Devil (Magnet Releasing)


Magnolia Pictures/Magnet Releasing created a series of “retro posters” for the release of Ti West’s 80’s horror period piece THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL. They’re all amazing, especially the one with the hand reaching out for you.

CHECK OUT THE WORST ONE SHEETS OF 2009

Horror movie fanatic who co-founded Bloody Disgusting in 2001. Producer on Southbound, V/H/S/2/3/94, SiREN, Under the Bed, and A Horrible Way to Die. Chicago-based. Horror, pizza and basketball connoisseur. Taco Bell daily. Franchise favs: Hellraiser, Child's Play, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Scream and Friday the 13th. Horror 365 days a year.

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Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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