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Best & Worst of 2009: Mr. Disgusting’s Bottom 5 of 2009!

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A typical year consists of ten bad horror films to one good one. The quality of 2009 was quite impressive, although there were still a fair share of dookies floating in the pot. Beyond the break you’ll find a list of the worst 5 films of the year, with a bunch of dishonorable mentions. Get your debate hat on, it’s time to go to war.

Mr. Disgusting (Best/Worst) | Tim Anderson (Best/Worst) | BC (Best/Worst)
David Harley (Best/Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best/Worst)

MR. DISGUSTING’S BOTTOM 5 OF 2009

Editor’s Note: The following list counts for movies I SAW this year.

5. Knowing (March 20; Summit)


I’m a huge fan of Alex Proyas, but the constant delays and the casting of Nicolas Cage (what happened man?) made me hyper-aware of what was coming. Even with those lowered expectations I still found this to be one of the most disappointing movies in years. Sure, it has incredible F/X work (the plane crash is astounding), but the left-field ending is beyond mindboggling. Did M. Night Shyamalan write this?


Even before Universal attempted to make the film look like it lived in the same universe as TWILIGHT, I thought this adaptation looked horrendous. Still, it’s always nice to have a new franchise to get into, so I gave it a go. Unfortunately, CIRQUE is a heartless, cold and intensely boring movie that doesn’t appeal to anyone, let alone children. A complete failure.

3. The Canyon (October 23; Magnet Releasing)


Talk about the most moronic and idiotic human beings on the entire planet. “Hey, if I climb this mountain and hang off a cliff, maybe I’ll get reception?” Beyond the horrid characters, the screenplay is an abysmal mess. When I say nothing happens, I mean NOTHING happens.

2. Haunting in Connecticut (March 27; Lionsgate)


An incredibly incoherent movie with illogical characters doing jackassy things. The first half is promising, but by the time serious poltergeist occurrences begin, it falls apart quicker than you can say “Boo!” In fact, the finale is so ridiculous it made my brain hurt. Ghost cures cancer. Yeah.

1. Blood: The Last Vampire (July 10, Samuel Goldwyn)


Is there a word that transcends abysmal? BLOOD is the lowest form of cinematic garbage that carries not a single shred of redeemable screen time. It’s shocking to me that the movie even got the “go ahead”, as the core of the problem is the screenplay penned by Chris Chow. Hoping for a little blood? If you enjoy video game gore in your feature films then maybe you’ll enjoy this?

HORRIBLE MENTIONS

As much as I hated George A. Romero’s heartless SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD, I couldn’t help but have some fun watching it, which is why I opted to keep it off the actual list. I desperately wanted to include SOLOMON KANE but it unfortunately took the #6 slot. The movie was such an epic disappointment considering how cool all of the images, clips and trailer were. It blows my mind that people like CARRIERS. I have a little trick I pull on everyone that works like a charm every single time. I ask, “Did you also see THE ROAD?” Thus far the answer has always been “Yes.” So my follow-up question is, “Did you love THE ROAD?” The answer thus far, “No.” So my final question to them is, “If CARRIERS is a cheap, crappy version of THE ROAD, why do you love it so much?” Think on that. As for JENNIFER’S BODY, I can understand why people enjoy it. The satire has its merits, but I simply couldn’t stand the dialogue — err “Jen Speak” as I call it. A PERFECT GETAWAY carries one of the most obvious twists of the decade, and is fairly weak in its story structure. Beautifully shot, but who cares when there’s nothing all that enjoyable happening on screen? I’m one of the few who actually enjoy watching HALLOWEEN II, but much like SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD, it’s a terrible, terrible movie. Fun does not always equal good. The same goes for H2’s rival THE FINAL DESTINATION; fun movie, but what a piece of crap. Jesus.

Horror movie fanatic who co-founded Bloody Disgusting in 2001. Producer on Southbound, V/H/S/2/3/94, SiREN, Under the Bed, and A Horrible Way to Die. Chicago-based. Horror, pizza and basketball connoisseur. Taco Bell daily. Franchise favs: Hellraiser, Child's Play, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Scream and Friday the 13th. Horror 365 days a year.

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SCREAMBOX Investigates UFOs and Extraterrestrials: Several Documentaries Streaming Right Now!

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As someone who is obsessed with UFOS (or more recently known as UAPs) and the concept of extraterrestrials, I love a good documentary. Sightings have been on the rise since the 1940s, with the atomic bomb seemingly acting as a catalyst for new visitors. But what are these UFOs/UAPs? Is there an explanation or are they simply beyond our explanation? Why are they here? Who are they? How much do our governments know? The questions are endless and so are the documentaries that attempt to uncover the secrets behind decades of sightings and alleged confrontations.

Whether you’re a seasoned viewer or new to the rabbit hole, there’s always a handful of interesting documentaries to get your neurons firing and leave you with sleepless nights. SCREAMBOX is investigating with the addition of several docs, all streaming now on the Bloody Disgusting-powered service. Here’s the breakdown:

Aliens (2021): Beam into this unidentified streaming documentary for a glimpse into Extraterrestrial life. Aliens are hypothetical life forms that may occur outside Earth or that did not originate on Earth.

Aliens Uncovered: Origins (2021): Before Area 51, hidden deep in the desert, the military discovered a hidden gem that helped them create Project Bluebook.

Aliens Uncovered: ET or Man-Made (2022): The crash of Roswell wasn’t meant for New Mexico. In 1947, a neighboring state had 3 major sightings that were swept under the rug.

Aliens Uncovered: The Golden Record (2023): In the late 70s, the US government launched a message to our distant neighbors.

Roswell (2021): This high-flying documentary examines the July 1947 crash of a United States Army Air Forces balloon at a ranch near Roswell, New Mexico. Theories claim the crash was actually that of a flying saucer, but what is the truth?

Also check out:

The British UFO Files (2004): Since the 1940’s the British Government has been investigating the Flying Saucer phenomenon. High-ranking military and government personnel, speak out for the first time, offering unique eyewitness accounts and inside information.

Alien Abductions and Paranormal Sightings (2016): Amazing Footage and stories from real people as they reveal their personal encounters of being abducted by Aliens.

And do not miss Hellier (2019): A crew of paranormal researchers find themselves in a dying coal town, where a series of strange coincidences lead them to a decades-old mystery.

These documentaries join SCREAMBOX’s growing library of unique horror content, including Onyx the Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls, Here for Blood, Terrifier 2, RoboDoc: The Creation of RoboCop, Hollywood Dreams & Nightmares: The Robert Englund Story, The Outwaters, Living with Chucky, Project Wolf Hunting, and Pennywise: The Story of IT.

Start screaming now with SCREAMBOX on iOS, Android, Apple TV, Prime Video, Roku, YouTube TV, Samsung, Comcast, Cox, and Screambox.com.

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