Review'n While I'm Watch'n #1: Cannibal Holocaust
Posted 10-30-2009 at 08:21 PM by flyingtoast99
Good day (until now) I'm flyingtoast99 I'd like to give you a tour trough the depths of my movie vault of horrors, I bring to you for my first recap Cannibal holocaust please enjoy.Ah yes and...good luck
Well the first part with the soldier types shooting the cannibals is cheesey and it's still funny to watch the one guy fall in the water.Boring expostion...Ha he puked on the skeliton (realistic skeliton too).
Ah animal cruelty #1 (rat gets cut up.awful).
Now it's finally time forRAPE #1 just beautiful(awww snnap she got f'ed by a stone!).They finally make it to the village. Some dude's going ape shit crazy!
History lesson! When Cannibal Holocaust was shown in theaters, the police thought it was a snuff film! ha ha.
RAPE #2 some dude got fucked to death for punishment or something.
nows he's taking a bath with some woman in a pond or whatever. Great now whenever I hear the main theme I'll think of that!
Yay they've found the remains of the Yates team and the tapes.Though finding the tapes might have not been good.
oooooooooooooooooh theys gots to eat a dude. Yummy.Oh god that's sick.
(You're gonna see that icon ALOT).
Now the leagal beagals are disscussing producing the cannibal film(of course they also had to throw in the last road to hell,which is a bunch of stock footage of REAL shooting murders). Now i ask was that really needed. Talk about no class.
Interviews with men and woman close to the people in the Yates team show that most of them cared more about the entertainment aspect of the film more than the truth or their families.
OH FUCK THE TURTLE PART!!!
It hasn't started yet... now oh fuck there goes the poor things head. Now it's in half.Oh that looks tasty
But it's kinda okay cause they gave the remains to a real cannibal tribe near there.
Animal cruelty part 3. theys cut a spider in half. Not a big deal moving on.
Animal cruelty part 4 snake stomp? Idk for sure cause i wasn't looking.
And they had to cut off the poor guides leg. Hes dead now. ha ha ha.Stupid posion
animal cruelty numbah 5: monkey done get his head choped off.
Animal cruelty number 6. Mr. pig got shot in the head. poor poor pig. At least it was swift.
Now they're setting up a faked tribe attack by lighting up a hut on fire with everyone inside. How nice of them.
Damn that theme to hell.
after they setup the tribe and burn them to hell theres a not so hot sex part.But the other guy is filming it! HA HA HA
The leagal Beagals still want to produce the Yates tapes. Dirty comunist basterds.
Ewwww! Dirty dying thing. Wait that's a woman!?!
AWWW SNNNAPPP jungle abortion time!. And she gets stoned! yay.
and its back to the leagal beagals. Still want to produce the yates film. stupid government maaannn.
MORE RAPE! fan fucking tastic. the Yates boys found a chick walking by herself a decide to rape her.Going as far as saying and i sadly quote "Jungle Jollys"
I SHIT YOU NOT "JUNGLE JOLLYS"
The girl on the Yates team is finally showing remorse for the cannibal folk....
YAY the infamouse impalment!!! Hey those sound alike
HISTRY time! Cannibal Holocaust convinced 12 of there "peers" and the jugde that this part was real. They eventually had to give away the secret.(The girl sat on a bike seat a put balsa wood in her mouth).
The Yates are starting to get killed. Cause this movie needed castration.In the end the leagal beagals decide that the footage is too shocking even for the nazis they are and destroy all of Yate's footage.
THE FUCKING END
*ABOUT THE LEAGAL BEAGALS*
it's ment to be funny. let's not takes this part personally you stupid commies. KIDDING!
*IN CONCLUSION*
It ain't half bad. But very fucked up. The social commentary was more than obivous like "I WONDER WHO THE REAL CANNIBALS ARE???" But even that gets ruined because they didn't sync the sound to the video good. Like an asian movie.
THAT THEME WILL FOREVER HAUNT MY DREAMS.
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN
Well the first part with the soldier types shooting the cannibals is cheesey and it's still funny to watch the one guy fall in the water.Boring expostion...Ha he puked on the skeliton (realistic skeliton too).
Ah animal cruelty #1 (rat gets cut up.awful).
Now it's finally time forRAPE #1 just beautiful(awww snnap she got f'ed by a stone!).They finally make it to the village. Some dude's going ape shit crazy!
History lesson! When Cannibal Holocaust was shown in theaters, the police thought it was a snuff film! ha ha.
RAPE #2 some dude got fucked to death for punishment or something.
nows he's taking a bath with some woman in a pond or whatever. Great now whenever I hear the main theme I'll think of that!
Yay they've found the remains of the Yates team and the tapes.Though finding the tapes might have not been good.
oooooooooooooooooh theys gots to eat a dude. Yummy.Oh god that's sick.
(You're gonna see that icon ALOT).
Now the leagal beagals are disscussing producing the cannibal film(of course they also had to throw in the last road to hell,which is a bunch of stock footage of REAL shooting murders). Now i ask was that really needed. Talk about no class.
Interviews with men and woman close to the people in the Yates team show that most of them cared more about the entertainment aspect of the film more than the truth or their families.
OH FUCK THE TURTLE PART!!!
It hasn't started yet... now oh fuck there goes the poor things head. Now it's in half.Oh that looks tasty
But it's kinda okay cause they gave the remains to a real cannibal tribe near there.
Animal cruelty part 3. theys cut a spider in half. Not a big deal moving on.
Animal cruelty part 4 snake stomp? Idk for sure cause i wasn't looking.
And they had to cut off the poor guides leg. Hes dead now. ha ha ha.Stupid posion
animal cruelty numbah 5: monkey done get his head choped off.
Animal cruelty number 6. Mr. pig got shot in the head. poor poor pig. At least it was swift.
Now they're setting up a faked tribe attack by lighting up a hut on fire with everyone inside. How nice of them.
Damn that theme to hell.
after they setup the tribe and burn them to hell theres a not so hot sex part.But the other guy is filming it! HA HA HA
The leagal Beagals still want to produce the Yates tapes. Dirty comunist basterds.
Ewwww! Dirty dying thing. Wait that's a woman!?!
AWWW SNNNAPPP jungle abortion time!
. And she gets stoned! yay.and its back to the leagal beagals. Still want to produce the yates film. stupid government maaannn.
MORE RAPE! fan fucking tastic. the Yates boys found a chick walking by herself a decide to rape her.Going as far as saying and i sadly quote "Jungle Jollys"
I SHIT YOU NOT "JUNGLE JOLLYS"
The girl on the Yates team is finally showing remorse for the cannibal folk....
YAY the infamouse impalment!!! Hey those sound alike
HISTRY time! Cannibal Holocaust convinced 12 of there "peers" and the jugde that this part was real. They eventually had to give away the secret.(The girl sat on a bike seat a put balsa wood in her mouth).
The Yates are starting to get killed. Cause this movie needed castration.In the end the leagal beagals decide that the footage is too shocking even for the nazis they are and destroy all of Yate's footage.
THE FUCKING END
*ABOUT THE LEAGAL BEAGALS*
it's ment to be funny. let's not takes this part personally you stupid commies. KIDDING!
*IN CONCLUSION*
It ain't half bad. But very fucked up. The social commentary was more than obivous like "I WONDER WHO THE REAL CANNIBALS ARE???" But even that gets ruined because they didn't sync the sound to the video good. Like an asian movie.
THAT THEME WILL FOREVER HAUNT MY DREAMS.
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN
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