Hide the children, it’s almost time for the latest installment in our annual celebration of all things video games and the last thing you want getting between you and the deluge of headlines we’re about to witness is a son or daughter who isn’t capable of appreciating this wondrous occasion because they’re too busy crying about how you haven’t taken them for a walk in three days, or whatever it is parents do with their kids.

The Electronic Entertainment Expo is that magical time of year when the makers, sellers and buyers of video games flee their homelands to journey to the City of Angels for four straight days of gaming goodness. Without E3, June would be the second worst month of the whole year, beaten only by the absolute worst month, which we all know is August. August sucks.

I’m sure you don’t remember my wish lists from previous E3’s — and if you do, you’re an X-Man and you should really consider finding a better use for your gift because memorizing old articles of mine is both weirdly specific and an entirely useless ability in the grand scheme of life — but for all you non-mutants, you should know that what I want rarely matches up with what we get.

Let’s see if I can keep that streak going with this year’s wish list.

These games are in no particular order, but if they were, the Friday the 13th game would likely claim the #1 spot. We’ve seen nary a screenshot or second of gameplay footage from this one, leading me to believe it won’t be hitting the October release date they originally promised.

Aside from Until Dawn, which I’m sure will be shown in some capacity, the only other slasher game I see coming this year is Slasher Vol. 1: Summer Camp, which, like F13, is an asymmetrical multiplayer game in which a player-controlled psychopath must hunt down a team of player-controlled teens.

Even more of an enigma than the F13 game is Sony Bend’s oft-rumored project. Rumor has it it’s an open-world survival horror game. It’d be great if that were true, so long as it has nothing to do with zombies. We have plenty of those to choose from now thanks to Dying Light, Resident Evil, Dead Island 2, DayZ and H1Z1, as well as at least two more Walking Dead games. I’m not tired of the undead, I’m just craving a reprieve from the constant smell of rot.

Before State of Decay even had a name — it was first announced under the code-name Class 3 — developer Undead Labs has been open about their plans to use it as the foundation for an even more ambitious open-world zombie game, code-named Class 4.

With the obligatory XBO port of State of Decay finally behind them, the studio is free to focus completely on the next big thing. I can’t imagine they’ll have anything substantial to show off in time for E3, but there’s a chance we may get a CG trailer. I’d also settle for a title.

Dead Island 2 may take the stage this month, but the smarter move would be to save the good stuff for Gamescom in September, or possibly even whatever this year’s incarnation of The Game Awards ends up being called. I can’t say that I’m looking forward to watching those for another year, even with the world premieres the show brings with it. That won’t keep me from enduring them again, because you’re worth it.

The only other high profile zombie games I’d like to hear from belong to Capcom. The focus should stay on the Resident Evil 0 remaster that’s coming later this year. However, if Capcom really wants to impress, they might mention Resident Evil 7. I assume they’ll want to follow up the success of Revelations 2 with another episodic game, which may mean more Revelations for us.

And with that, Resident Evil concludes the itchy, tasty portion of this wish list.

On the supernatural front, we have the possibility of an Alan Wake remaster, a Western release for Fatal Frame V and, if we’re lucky, we’ll hear something from Frogware’s Call of Cthulhu game. That one has been quiet for awhile. Games that are based on the works of H.P. Lovecraft have had a rough time staying out of development limbo, so even a “Yes, it’s still on the way” statement from Frogware would be fantastic.

Is Draugen a supernatural horror game? Whatever it is, it’s been quiet long enough that I’m beginning to worry about its health. Developer Red Thread Games has said they’d like to crowdfund it, potentially for a 2015 release. Mid to late 2016 is looking more likely as far as a release window, and that would give them plenty of time to raise some funds to help realize it. Until then, some new footage would be a swell way to remind us Draugen still exists.

Kodoku is one of those rare sorts of video games that can be immediately identifiable solely because of a distinctive art style. I’m not sure what the official term for it is, or if there even is a term to describe this delightfully strange-looking game. I also don’t think it’s necessary.

What’s more important is that you approach this interactive acid trip like you would a real one and make sure you have a safe place to play it in, and that you surround yourself with people you trust.

Before we go, here are a few miscellaneous things I’d also like to see at E3:

– Release dates for Predator in Mortal Kombat X, The Forest (PS4), DayZ (PS4) and Grave (XBO)

– A look at that upcoming Bloodborne expansion

– What’s next for Creative Assembly (Alien: Isolation) and Tango Gameworks (The Evil Within)

– Literally any news regarding the future of Condemned, Dead Space and Silent Hill

– For Konami to spend their entire conference apologizing to us for everything they’ve done. They can open with a heartfelt speech, followed by some crying, then Kojima needs to come on stage and kick a Konami exec in the balls, followed by even more crying. It will all end with a surprise appearance from Guillermo del Toro where he looks directly into the camera to tell me, personally, that everything is going to be okay.

– To not have to mention Left 4 Dead 3 in next year’s list.