Ever have a friend or relative approach you with something they've written, a picture they've drawn, or some other stab at artistic expression that was just fricken awful? You can't tell them what a piece of crap they've produced so you search for some bright spot to focus on. Some point, no matter how minute, that you can base the conversation around because the idea of flat out lying and saying it was great would be to much of a psychological strain. I had similar feelings watching "I, Zombie".

I am not related to nor friends with the folks behind this movie, but they are undoubtedly fans of horror films (and the zombie sub-genre ) or they would not have made this movie. Also, being an independent filmmaker myself and working with very low budgets, I felt a certain connection with them on that level as well. In short, I really wanted to like this movie. I tried and I tried but I just couldn't.

At times I felt like I was watching a student play written by that guy (we all know one) who always says things like "The book was better" or makes comments like "Not enough plot" in regards to a movie like "Jurassic Park". It seemed like the makers of "I, Zombie" were trying to make a "smart" movie instead of coming up with ideas for a story, fleshing them out and allowing the story to grow into the basis for a movie. Do you know what I mean? It was an art film, not a film done artistically. It contained all the trappings of your typical art film: sullen masturbation; lengthy, moody dialogue; endless voice-over introspection by the main character and ( of course ) castration. And what was with those first person confessionals !!! I felt like like I was watching outtakes from "Thirtysomething".

Any good points? Some good makeup. There! That's a cathartic way to end the review. I found the one bright spot!