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Teeth (V)

Release Date: May 06, 2008
Director: Mitchell Lichtenstein
Writer: Mitchell Lichtenstein
Starring: Jess Weixler Hale Appleman Paul Galvan Julia Garro John Hensley Trent Moore Josh Pais Ava Ryen Plumb Ashley Springer
Studio: Dimension Extreme
Rating: R
Official Site: Click Here

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Posted By: Mrmcd666 at 6:05pm, November 6, 2009

Has a very cool idea but i'm sorry to admit that the movie is pretty boring and the ending sucked.


Posted By: flyingtoast99 at 8:21pm, November 2, 2009

please let me start this off with EWWWWWWWWWW! dick eating vaginas are fucked up! so... good job?


Posted By: Demented D at 12:56am, November 2, 2009

Pretty good. I had a good time watching it. The script and the acting were adequate. A few WTFs, but all in all, enjoyable. I do not see a need for a sequel though, if that ever came into question.


Posted By: ultrazilla2000 at 4:14pm, September 27, 2009

I was pretty excited for this one thanks to the premise and early hype. Unfortunately, it didn't live up to it all. It wasn't bad mind you, just not great. The lead actress did a wonderful job, and the movie was entertaining...but in an early interview with one of the movie's film makers, we were promised a glimpse of the "little nibbler", yet there were none. This is like having a slasher film, without ever showing the knife! I'm not talking about long, weirdly drawn out, up close scenes for crying out loud, but some fleeting glimpses for shock and awe would have helped spice up this movie.

Then there's the whole male hatred aspect. Was there a single decent male character in this movie?!? I found it's portrayal of the male gender to be hugely biased and wrongfully negative. Seriously, EVERY man in her life is a rapist scumbag?!? What a sad outlook on life. A decent movie, but it's nothing more than a parody of extreme feminist views.



Posted By: destinie2loveu2 at 3:44pm, September 27, 2009

Teeth is precisely the sort of genre movie that we need to see more of. Nothing else has ever been done like this. So wicked, A surprisingly thoughtful feminist horror film about a young woman with a toothed vagina.Every rose has its thorn. Protecting themselves from the dangers of the environment and predators. What an actress (Jess Weixler)is, to play such a unique role dealing with a Penis eatting Vagina. Not an easy role Im sure to take on. Great movie. Horror and dark comedy all in one.







Posted By: Prof. Lumpcicle at 4:52pm, September 7, 2009

Raise your hand if you wanted to see the man eating vagina?

A well made film that has a limited gimmick but even in it's limitations it manages to give the audience some aptly done gross out moments.

Also, any film that makes fun of the religious zealots is fine by me.



Posted By: MattSlash at 12:12am, August 18, 2009

Brave and different and somewhat clever and has shades of dark humor and has some decent performances but it was way too out there for me and I didn't care for the abrupt ending. This is one strange and sometimes vicious and twisted revenge flick.


Posted By: streetcleaner at 5:32pm, August 14, 2009

Belongs alongside the likes of "Heathers" in the cult black comedy department. Chances are, this movie isn't entirely what you expected. This is also part of why it is so great.


Posted By: skatekid95 at 5:25pm, August 14, 2009

fair, but not for most males


Posted By: bufffiiieee at 9:32pm, August 6, 2009

Wow I enjoyed every minute of this film.I'm not sure i'd call it a horror flick though.I don't recommend it for the male audience :).


Posted By: horrorbuff28 at 7:02pm, July 17, 2009

this movie was terrible.
it was so down-right retarded.
i dont understand how this movie got critical praises because i didnt enjoy this movie one bit and i usually like every horror movie i see.



Posted By: maynardmorrissey at 6:58am, June 18, 2009

interesting idea, cool story, great actors but sometimes a bit boring. The whole movie is too long


Posted By: ramburgler at 6:33am, April 2, 2009

not a fan, would much rather watch 'angst' it has a lower budget but much more entertaining


Posted By: randomrick at 3:04pm, March 9, 2009

such a weird tale.i actualy liked this movie it was nice to see something different for a change,also i cant deny it definetly mad me wince a couple of times..i mean come on if you have the equipment you did to.


Posted By: Malcolm T Grindhouse at 9:16pm, February 28, 2009

This was not a horror movie it was a dark comedy. I dont know why anyone would put this in the horror gengre. It was nothing more then a coming of age story with a teenage girl who had slightly mutated due to living close to a nuclear power plant this movie was a twisted dark comedy. Did I enjoy this movie yes becouse it surpassed some of my expectations. I thought their would be more nudity but hey nothings perfect. This movie does not belong in the horror catagory in my opinion. Would it have been to much for their to be a tounge ripped off to


Posted By: uraniumwilly at 1:14am, February 21, 2009

BLACK HUMOR AND VAGINA DENTATA MIX WELL IN: TEETH

After sitting through Killer Pussy only a couple weeks ago I was not certain I was up to another vagina dentata film so soon. In fact I had passed over this a few times at the local DVD store and when I did pick it up I figured I was basically “taking one for the team”to just have something to watch and review as is often the case with me and horror films. I never get what I am expecting or what the cover promises. I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised (in a ghastly sort of way) and it is really the type of horror-genre film I am starting to like more and more. That is, one with a ample amount of humor and wit to the story line as opposed to nihilistic angst and depression. Okay, nihilism and depression are scary in that "deep thinking" sort of way and seeing a bunch or moody depressed teenagers offed by a psycho is actually entertaining, but Teeth had that type of gory, sexy charm that films by Brian Yuzna once had, before he moved to Europe and started to make films that now seem so, well, European.


While the movie has all the trappings of a dark comedy make no mistakes about this 2007 black comedy, it is a horror movie.There is gore and severed penises aplenty here and I certainly found my knees defensively clamping together more often than during the silly Killer Pussy. The story follows the innocently beautiful and religiously abstinent Dawn O’Keefe (Jess Weixler) who is sexually unaware of her body in all aspects. However we already know something is amiss since her family lives in the shadow of a smoking nuclear power plant and once something happened to her step-brother Brad’s finger (John Hensley) while he “diddled” her in the familiy's plastic swimming pool. He still carries the scar and reflects on what actually happened "that day". I watched the film Shutter the following night and it starred the freaky looking Von Dohlen in yet another slimy role. He does a fine job hope here and I want to see him in more things.


Dawn is committed to the sexual abstinence group called The Promise and yet something changes after she meets new member Tobey (Hal Appleman) and soon she is actually having near sexual fantasies about him. Of course in the fantasy she imagines that they are married first, sweet girl. She and Tobey return to a “lovers pond” they had visited with friends form the group earlier and while making out in a hidden cave Tobey shows what jerks nice guys really are and after whining he has not even jerked off since Easter he pins her down and enters her… and well… chomp. Dawn is almost as panicked stricken as Tobey (and mind you that is a very big almost) as they both stare at the bloody weiner on the cave floor. Tobey flees the cave and is found later dead in the pond, having bled to death in the pond.


Dawn is soon surfing the net and reading about the myth of vagina dentata, or the toothed vagina, and to rule out any doubts she goes to see a sleazy gynecologist who is remarking in one scene about how tight she is and then gawking at his bloody fingers lying all over the floor the next. Dawn is distraught and finds comfort in seemingly safe classmate Ryan (Ashley Springer). Like any likable, shy guy he gives Dawn some sedatives and booze to calm her nerves and then soon is sporting some finger tickler vibrator and has Dawn convinced he is the “hero” she needs to control the fangs down-under. During sex she is relaxed and nothing chewy happens and she realizes she can have some control if she wants. Of course nice guy Ryan is actually the slime ball all men inherently are (at least in these sort of movies or else how will anyone get their Johnson’s bit off) and while bragging on the phone to his pal that he nailed the hottest celibate in the school Dawns gets pissed and clamps down on arrogant Ryan then spits him out.


She next sets the sites of her pearly whites on her misanthropic death-rocker step brother Brad who recently just let her mom die rather than interrupt his hobby of sodomizing his girlfriend and calling 911. In one of the best scenes in movie poor Brad must watch as his faithful Rottweiler makes a snack out of his mangled tallywacker but coughs back up the pierced glands. Yikes. In the final scenes Dawn sits in a car at a Motel 6 type establishment with the greatest dirty old man ever set to celluloid. After becoming increasingly annoyed she turns and gives the camera and knowing and sinister smile. A smile that probably signals a sequel with a more focused and revenge motivated Dawn being in complete control of the situations.


Look, this thing could have gone a couple different ways and perhaps still succeeded. Director/writer Micthell Licthenstein could have made it into a total gory, body count spoof or a soul searching existential horror flick (thank God he did not do that) but he took a sort of middle ground and pulled it all off for the most part. Once comedy becomes part of the equation a little leeway can be given for plot idiosyncrasies that more serious films cannot sustain. The acting is really excellent all the way around as is the photography and score. The camera does not flinch on severed penis shots and one shot of a blood gushing dick stump I had captured for my review I deemed too much for my readers still possessed of some modicum of decency to have to look at. The humor helps it succeed, but it never becomes a brainless farce. I give it 3 1/2 skulls as I can hardly go higher on a horror-comedy, with rare exceptions like Shawn of the Dead perhaps. I definitely prefer it to some of the gloomier horror films I have endured lately such as The Strangers.



Posted By: gorypass at 4:17pm, February 20, 2009

This was a good film interesting plot....it was twisted and funny too....so watch out guys and gals you never know what ya might find....


Posted By: GGoblin31 at 10:45pm, February 19, 2009

Uneven but extremely entertaining film. Not for the squeamish. I didn't touch my girlfriend for a whole hour after watching this. I laughed and doubled over holding myself multiple times during this flick--believe me, you'll understand what I'm saying once you check this out.


Posted By: weasel corpse 666 at 5:40pm, February 15, 2009

This movie rocked! Funny and a little twisted. Why all the hate?


Posted By: bdwolfe312 at 11:40pm, December 12, 2008

I'm not sure why everyone hated this movie. It wasn't that bad. The finale certainly left me disturbed as a male. I mean, at least the other surviving victim could have his penis reattached. (and you thought that guy had problems on nip/tuck, jesus...) The vagina monster is never actually shown, which I think serves this movie well. It does, however, deliver in other aspects, in gruesome detail.

It was fun. I'd reccomend it for a cheap thrill.



Posted By: Angel of the living dead at 6:02pm, December 12, 2008

this movie could have been better if they took things too far but no they keep it to some lame ass story it's ok not for the time though


Posted By: MGM at 5:06pm, December 12, 2008

this movie is realy fucking shit . i see this movie i say what the fuck is this? you got be fucking kiding me!


Posted By: A fistful of boomstick at 7:53pm, October 24, 2008

I never saw it and I dont plan to the trailer was enough for me and when I saw the dvd it took me a few days to figure it out that a girl has teeth in her vagina and let me ask you something have you ever gotten a hold of some badass ummmmm sometimes its better to just let it past.


Posted By: jna at 12:18pm, October 19, 2008

This movie was fun to watch. Not too much gore a little on the comedy side but overall was great to watch. Besides Jess Weixleris smokin hot!!!!


Posted By: Jacques at 9:56am, October 19, 2008

If there is a single movie in my life that I can point to and ask “What was the point of watching that?”, it’s Teeth more than anything else. Teeth is a teen drama. Teeth is not a horror movie, nor a thriller. I don’t mind dramas at all, I like a few, but when you falsely advertise a drama as a horror movie it just makes me mad. And by teen drama standards, it’s just like all the rest, doing nothing different whatsoever. Someone really should have put a sticker on the box: “There is nothing disturbing, action-packed, or gory about this movie. It’s a teen drama and nothing else.”

Bad:

- Teeth does everything exactly like every other movie ever made. Yeah, it has a premise that is a tad different, but the premise is never once the focus of the movie. It just goes around in circles, rambling about purity. It never once grows a backbone. Some people may find the final castration disturbing, but, really, it’s just like every other movie out there: the ending is a tired cliché that I saw coming from the opening. The other castrations are all done pretty pathetically, and are never once disturbing or funny. Why don’t people get it already: castrations aren’t brutal anymore. We’ve seen them time and time again, made jokes about them, heard about them on the news. Sure if it were to happen to you it would be painful, but in a movie it isn’t disturbing, and most guys I know back me up there.

- Teeth is 100% politically correct from opening to close. In one scene someone asks why they can show a penis in a textbook but not a vagina, and the teacher says: “Because . . . that’s different.” The movie follows suit. Countless penises and male butts, not a single glimpse of the teeth, or boobs, for that matter. Teeth makes all women into pure vessels of holiness, and makes men out as disgusting filth. The premise alone is about revenge against men, because women are pure holiness. What more can I say but: the level of political correctness is more disturbing than the castrations.

- The movie opens boring, continues boring, and ends boring. There is not a single thrill in the entire runtime. Pure traditional drama.

- This movie isn’t funny, even though it tries to be a black comedy. As I mentioned earlier, castrations don’t disturb the majority of the male audience anymore, while the movie tries for the “so disturbing it’s funny” card. It doesn’t work. I laughed maybe once. Other than that, where are all these hilarious scenes everyone is talking about? I didn’t see any jokes.

Good:

- The acting is done well, and that’s the only good thing I have to say. The lead girl reminded me so much of someone I know it was downright frightening.

Overall:

Let me put it this way. What made Juno such a huge hit? There were a lot of things, but what sold Juno for me was the fact it was not politically correct by any stretch of the term. Juno had a personality, and director didn’t go around spouting how she and all women were vessels of purity no mind could grasp. Juno herself was dirty, the way real girls are. Teeth, on the other hand, just reuses tired clichés over and over again. It isn’t a horror movie as advertised, and by drama standards, it isn’t worthy of licking Juno’s boots. I just don’t think people can understand it: no one likes politically correct movies when they’re targeted for the hardcore crowd. Other than the castrations, Teeth was G-rated family entertainment all the way.

It’s just sad this is what the horror-drama subgenre has become.



Posted By: dherna7704 at 3:04pm, October 9, 2008

reallly loved the start but turned into crap


Posted By: Protecious at 11:12am, September 30, 2008

one of the wierdest and coolest movies ive ever seen, rarely does a horror film focus on teen sex, so in terms of originality, this film packed that, as i didnt know what would happen next, nor did i find myself bored or angry at any of the plot or anything, very entertaining, very very solid story and interesting, and the power of suggestion plays heavily in this film, which is underated sometimes


Posted By: bigmo_402 at 10:58pm, September 19, 2008

This movie wasn't that bad. Give it a chance, there might not be a whole lot of gore but it is pretty cool. Definitely worth watching.


Posted By: reesi3la at 8:40pm, September 18, 2008

i dont know how i feel about this movie, i thought it was gonna be scary but it was just comedy 2 me.


Posted By: fenderxx at 9:33pm, September 13, 2008

Just watched it with a bunch of my friends we all loved it. we were all squirming in our seats laughing our asses off. Overall we really enjoyed it the acting could have been better but it just added to the ridiculousness of the movie. My best friend and i being girls absolutely loved how all of the boys in the room were extremely uncomfortable, as we were peeing our pants laughing.


Posted By: Gwangi at 4:05pm, August 26, 2008

When I first heard about this movie I knew I had to see it, so much so that I bought it without having ever seen it despite a lot of negative reviews. I wasn't disappointed. I loved the feel of the film, just the overall look and setting. Jess Weixler did an amazing job as Dawn, so much so that if there is any one reason to see this movie it is because of her. The penis chopping scenes are of course fairly brutal, but once you've seen one you've seen them all and so in that respect the movie does get predictable but once the shit hits the fan the movie does at least stay fast paced till the end. I'm sure at some point this movie will become a cult hit. A lot of critics will have negative things to say about this flick, I say...what more do you want from a dark comedy about a toothy vagina?


Posted By: thedescent08 at 1:38am, August 18, 2008

meh...


Posted By: Doc Clockwork at 1:17am, August 18, 2008

Uninspired and overrated. Relies on the absurdity of its premise to carry the entire story without ever generating a genuinely funny, scary, or disturbing moment.


Posted By: acidgoatwhore at 12:01pm, August 14, 2008

This movie is seriously fucked up. It would be a great movie to show little kids to keep them from having sex. I enjoyed the acting and the originality of the carnivorous vagina.


Posted By: PromNight2008 at 6:04pm, August 13, 2008

I really enjoyed this. I don't quite understand all the hate it's getting here. It was very funny, and had me squirming.


Posted By: badboyrsl at 1:44pm, August 7, 2008

This movie was different in the sense that the killer was a a 2 labia monster... I would recommend this to any horror fan.


Posted By: rockzhard at 1:11am, August 3, 2008

VERY predictable movie, seen a few B movies back in the 80's with this same plotline that were MUCH better. glad my buddy recorded it for me so i didn't have to pay to be bored off my ass. and what the hell is up with showing a monkey every time ya turn around but not one beaver. that's just wrong.


Posted By: vanilla blade at 12:51am, August 3, 2008

one reason its good u get to see her naked other than that boring as hell


Posted By: j34ngr4y at 2:34am, July 18, 2008

Ok as a chick I just gotta say HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I loved the idea but wasn't very thrilled by how it played out. The over all feelings I was left with after watching this movie were mixed. It kinda felt like watching a BI-POLER movie was it scary or gorey or campy or whatever...it was hard to decide what I though about TEETH even after seeing it more then once. Like HARD CANDY I felt dirty watching it in places but I feel the acting wasn't too bad and the polt wasn't either but it just didn't have that SOMETHING SPECIAL you'd expect from a film with this kind of premis! I really wish it had been handeled by someone else I just felt it was too much for the director to handel! I guess I like it but it's not going to be for everyone. I give TEETH 2 fanged va-j-j's out of 10 fanged va-j-j's!


Posted By: superbum at 9:01pm, June 4, 2008

Hmmm...mixed feelings. On one hand, what a freakin' rad idea. Way to ferret out a disgusting, uncomfortable, and socially relavent premis...but I wish another filmaker had thought of it as it could have been much better.

The flick seemed very inconsistant w/ the mood going from dramatic to uncomfortably horrific to cheesy often. The acting was at times great (the Christian kids' awkwardness was very believable) to horrible (the stepbrothers Johnson ripp-off scene was ridiculous!).

Three out of five for originallity and effort.



Posted By: lance666 at 7:51am, May 28, 2008

nice idea. thats what anal is for. cool freakin movie.


Posted By: downward_spiral at 1:23pm, May 16, 2008

I was expecting more but overall it was a very different and weird film. This movie will have your attention all right. Check it out.


Posted By: bunnyracer420 at 6:00am, May 12, 2008

This movie was pretty slow starting out, but once it got going it was pretty good. i really didnt like the star of the movie, she isnt a very good actress. i could do with out seeing her in another film, but overall the movie was pretty good. the story was pretty humerous.


Posted By: walrus60 at 3:14am, May 11, 2008

This movie was really good in a kinda subtle way. Behind the ridiculous subject matter there lies a fantastic allegorical story about the dangers and powers of teen lust filled with countless themes and motifs. I rented this movie expecting an absurd excuse to put softcore porn into an R rated movie but instead found it a very deep and meaningful destined-to-be-cult-classic.


Posted By: Repo!Screams at 7:18pm, May 8, 2008

OMG this movie had very low expectations in my eye but hey you cant refuse to watch a movie like this! It almost made me throwup! I could never imagine that happening to me! But after watching the movie it was actually very very very interesting and a very well made and written film! It was boring until the first penis got bitten off and then the movie was really good. One of my new favorites!


Posted By: Blasian38 at 1:07pm, May 7, 2008

Fcuk the Director! Fcuk the Actors! Fcuk Dimesion! Fcuk a good Review, This movie should be burned and forgotten!
Reviewed by my Penis



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