While purists may favor the traditional Romeroesque zombies who shamble slowly toward their victims with an insatiable appetite for fresh human flesh, there remain a number of horror fans who actually prefer a more modern take on the undead monsters. These whipper snappers like their living dead to run, jump, punch, and basically make the ‘roid raging members of Major League Baseball look like Flintstones Kids. And, despite the fact this reviewer’s loyalty will always lie with the Romero camp, I do believe that, when properly executed, faster zombies can be quite terrifying. Think less Uwe Boll’s HOUSE OF THE DEAD, and more Zack Snyder’s DAWN OF THE DEAD update and you’ll get the picture. However, while films such as Snyder’s “DAWN” remake and Danny Boyle’s 28 DAYSLATER have often been credited with revitalizing the zombie genre with the presentation of faster, stronger zombies, the idea of a quicker corpse was actually brought to the big screen twenty-four years ago with the darkly humorous THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD.

Based on a story by John Russo, who helped pen Romero’s NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, with a script adapted and directed by Dan O’Bannon, who also holds writing credits to ALIEN, ALIENS, TOTAL RECALL and ALIEN VS PREDATOR, among other movies, THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD pays homage to Romero’s legacy while coming dangerously close to carving its own place in horror history, if it weren’t for a slew of less satisfying sequels. The mayhem begins when two attendants at a medical supply warehouse, a veteran employee and a punk-rock rookie, unwittingly release a strange gas into the air that causes a stocked medical cadaver, a dissected dog and even a pinned butterfly to come to life. In an attempt to cover up the mess, the two bumbling employees along with Burt the warehouse owner, decide to dismember the corpse and then incinerate the pieces at a nearby mortuary where Ernie the mortician is busy with a little late night embalming. But as the body is burned, a toxic smoke rises from the incinerator’s smoke stack which, in turn, causes chemically enhanced acid rain to soak the surrounding cemetery where a gang of punk teens have just decided to settle in for a night of alcohol fueled, drunken grave dancing debauchery. When this toxic rain finally trickles through the soil and down to the other inhabitants of “Resurrection Cemetery” the punk rocker’s party is rudely interrupted by dozens of brain munching living-dead guys. Surrounded by zombies, a few of the party goers retreat to the mortuary where the warehouse owner and the mortician are still trying to figure out why the two warehouse attendants (who were both directly exposed to the gas) are getting sicker and colder by the minute. Meanwhile, three other teens escape to the medical warehouse while still another, clad only in legwarmers, stumbles in the cemetery and is attacked by the ferocious fiends, only to rise up undevoured as well as undead. The rest of the film follows the survivors as they battle the riotous rotting mobs and try to find a way out of zombie territory before it’s too late.

With the introduction of the first screaming corpse at the warehouse, it becomes apparent that these are not the zombies that Flyboy fell victim to in the elevator of the Monroeville Mall. Not only are the ghouls fast, but they are also impervious to the old head shots that we’ve all come to know and love. In fact, the only way to truly get rid of these zombies is to burn them and, just like that plastic McDonald’s cup, they are never really exterminated as the burn off gas from incineration only leads to more acid rain and more zombies as a result. Additionally, the decomposing derelicts can talk and even set up an ambush, as several unsuspecting paramedics soon discover after arriving at the cemetery in response to a distress call only to be mugged from all sides by the hungry horde. While talking zombies may sound absurd, this aspect of the monsters actually gives way to the “BRAINS” catchphrase that is still associated with zombies in popular culture today, and also allows for a captivating, first ever human/zombie interview in which a legless skeletal hag explains to the mortician exactly why she and her undead associates must eat brains to survive.

In the area of special effects, THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD is not nearly as gory as one would expect an average zombie movie to be, but several key effects are well done for the film’s time as well as its budget. Examples include a graphic brain eating sequence, and the infamous “tarman” zombie whose oozing black flesh is still as scary today as it was in 1985. Equally impressive is William Stout’s production design, as many of the backdrops look and feel like they’re right out of a Tales From the Crypt comic book.

While the acting is always campy and occasionally terrible, this never interferes with the overall appeal of the movie as “RETURN” is a film that never loses sight of exactly what it is. Although, at times, the humorous tones can detract from the frightfulness of the flick and the lack of gore, along with some of the sillier special effects, only add to this problem, this one nevertheless remains an 80s cult classic that could’ve become an undead dynasty if the story’s sequels were only taken in the right direction. It’s not Romero, or even SHAUN OF THE DEAD, but THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD is still well worth watching for those looking for some lighter horror fare and I’d say it’s a must see for any fan of the zombie genre.