BREAKING NEWS: Nightmare on Elm Street Remake And Why Lance Henriksen Looks So Tired 8:29pm, November 2, 2009
BREAKING NEWS!!!
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET DITCHED FOR NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD
Ive just gotten off the phone with a trustable source. The people behind the upcoming remake for Nightmare on Elm Street have backed out of millions of dollars of investment and work, after a horrid review of the film is leaked online. Word is producers have jumped on an alternate idea that has taken the web by storm.
Its called Nightmare On Elm Road
Freddy Krueger will be played sensationally by the incomperable Abe Vigoda. Young Nancy will be played by Sally Struthers. The dedicated boyfriend will be played by Johnny Damon.
Instead of bad dreams created by Freddy, on Elm Rd. the neighborhood is haunted by Freddys bad gas. The role easily played by the chosen Vigoda.
I think i'd much rather watch Freddy take a dump, repeatedly for 2 hours, filmed by some unknown underground Norweigan director then the remake that's about to hit us.
Because they can, that's why. They know the new wave of horror fans are going to chew it up like a happy meal and the producers are in line for big payday. It's sickening. I'm over it.
Id watch Abe. You know - if these producers KNOW that its a famous film that will drag in moviegoers and curious cats no matter what, and near doomed to fail, why dont they hold some sort of contest or fan vote system to pick up a no-name or up and coming director to do it? I know its cliche but goddamn it I really dislike the remakes theyre putting out this side of the millenium. Such sellout commercialized non-risk-taking c-r-a-p...
I think we all knew what to expect from Platinum Dunes. Judgement will be reserved, but my expectations couldn't be much lower. Curiosity about JEH's Freddy alone MIGHT be enough to draw me out to the theatre.
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